Demain

Darkness settled

Colors deepened

My red robe

hanged

the bedpost

a shadowed burgundy

now

A chill in the air

skulked

four white walls

Deafening the tick of time.

Comments: 12

Granny Janny H. Oct 15, 2009, 7:55pm EDT

Burgundy...sp.
The poem darkens with emptiness.
And it hangs with gloominess in so few words, much is said. But, tomorrow is another day.

Siddartha Pierce Oct 15, 2009, 11:41pm EDT

THanks for pointing out my fox paw! You are absolutely right about that. - tomorrow is another day - hopefully. Thank you for commenting.
Light,
Siddartha

Granny Janny H. Oct 15, 2009, 11:48pm EDT

You are a fox...in the best way...a beautiful woman. Light back atcha.

Siddartha Pierce Oct 15, 2009, 11:58pm EDT

You too - hot stuff!

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Kushal Poddar Oct 15, 2009, 10:03pm EDT

The poetry is touching and fills you with feelings.

taste of tannin

Siddartha Pierce Oct 15, 2009, 11:42pm EDT

I appreciate your feedback - enjoyed your tannin!

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Chris Brockman Oct 15, 2009, 10:22pm EDT

Perfect rendition of the gloom that arises from within us an without in the middle of the night.

Siddartha Pierce Oct 15, 2009, 11:43pm EDT

Nice comment - yes this comes from a time when I was living in England working in a studio for graduate school and was quite lonely and very, very cold in my four white walls.
Light,
Siddartha

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Boris G. Oct 15, 2009, 11:22pm EDT

love the phrase "deafening the tick of time" - a unique and evocative way to describe the flow of time standing still due to the aura in the room!

Siddartha Pierce Oct 15, 2009, 11:44pm EDT

Absolutely, this really comes from just sitting in that cold room literally listening to my clock pass the time as I worked.
Light,
Siddartha

Boris G. Oct 16, 2009, 12:13am EDT

this powerful poem is now featured in "Boris' Bordello of Brevity". Thank you for submitting your work to it.

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Ann M. (Site Scryer) Oct 18, 2009, 12:32pm EDT

This is a gorgeous word-painting. Thank you for posting to The Surreal Circus.

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Comments: 12

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