by Atticus *.

Member since:
September 16, 2006

In Praise of Discourse: The Unreal Truth (WWE)

October 14, 2009 05:37 PM EDT (Updated: October 15, 2009 06:19 AM EDT)

views: 137 | rating: 10/10 (4 votes) | comments: 36

though stronger coffee grinds

You (are) woke in the morning,

to find/fog on the door; her

lips touch the silhouettes of unreal

with longer fingernails

You (are) wont to live in the secret,

classrooms; your current lovers’ /unborn

dreams scratch future chalkboards

so happy to have them

You are w(h)et in swordfishes

hero thoughts; swashbuckling/gangplank

oceans poke you back

"for whatever we lose (like a you or a me)/ it's always ourselves we find in the sea" e.e.cummings (it was his birthday yesterday 10/14/1894) I noticed after I had written this poem a facebook friend had posted this quote. coincidentally - it really seemed to fit so I borrowed it, thanks Amy!

Tags: wednesday writing essential, wwe, susans challenge, mists of unknowing, what is truth, small poem, poetry in the dark, just thinking out loud, what is left unsaid, life, writing essential, gather writing essential, thinking about the small stuff and how it is so big

To Groups: Thirteen Blackbirds Poetry Review, ARTIST CIRCLE, Poets Nook, Artistic Minds®, .....The Writers Review....., Public Forum, Experimental poetry, Poetic License, Best Of Gather, Poets and Writers, Zealous Poets, Shared Poetry Reviews, The Critics' Corner, Poetry Central, Virtual Muse, Poets, New and Old, PoetsRUS, ~Writing from the Heart~, P O E M Central, Honest Feedback, We ALL Write, The Sound Of Poetry Review, Poet's Weekly Muse, Poetry Express, *Passionate Poetry*, Poetry Salon, Random Musings, I Need My Poetry, Poetry of the Obscure, Poetic Incarnations, Thepoetscircle, .....The Poetry Review....., The Wordman Thomas Has Spoken - All Poetry And Fiction Writing All The Time, Undeniably Late Night, Honest Poetry Critique, The Surreal Circus, Poetic Release, Notes to Self, originalpoetryaspirants, Just Write!, Poetically Incorrect, Wanderings of the mind, shortest of verses, poetryloverz, promoting creativity, !!! OriginaLiterate !!!, The Triple Name Club, The Bulletproof Poets Society, What's on your Mind, PROPHETIC PULSE ~ A Paradigm Shift, Light of Poetry, Brotherhood of Poets, Gather Writing Essential, Warrior Poets, Barbary Wants To Read Your Poetry, Poet's Passion, Poetry Gazebo, Artistic License, Poetic expressions, Poetry from the Heart, Corinna: Sheriff of Poetry Town

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Comments: 36

libramoon C. Oct 14, 2009, 5:51pm EDT

fog, oceans, fingertips
touch me touch me touch we
fragmentation
a vision
a cartoon bubble
breath imbibed
under water
to carry to surface

Atticus *. Oct 14, 2009, 10:08pm EDT

Thank you so much for your lovey "in-kind" comment libramoon. Yes, "to carry to the surface"

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Angel sent from God Secret Sisters Oct 14, 2009, 6:50pm EDT

Nice write!

Atticus *. Oct 14, 2009, 10:08pm EDT

Thank you so much Angel Janet.

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JustMe ~I'm happy to be~ Oct 14, 2009, 6:55pm EDT

I love how you invited "unique" to a playdate with your words.

~Awesome~

Atticus *. Oct 14, 2009, 10:12pm EDT

Hey Little Red. I like the way you put it. Discourse is often a playdate with words too. (no matter what they tell you)

JustMe ~I'm happy to be~ Oct 14, 2009, 10:12pm EDT

Thanks for following my trail of crumbs..........

:)

Atticus *. Oct 14, 2009, 10:16pm EDT

Indeed, you are very perceptive.

JustMe ~I'm happy to be~ Oct 14, 2009, 10:17pm EDT

A compliment from you - you just made my day! Thanks, Atticus!

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tamerlane f. Oct 14, 2009, 7:32pm EDT

Atticus, your poetry is so rich in imagery!
It's like a screenplay and soundtrack rolled into one!
Bravo! x tame

Atticus *. Oct 14, 2009, 10:23pm EDT

Thank you so much tamerlane

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Kathryn E. Oct 14, 2009, 9:48pm EDT

your poems always touch my heart, atticus.

Featured in the Triple Name Club.

Atticus *. Oct 14, 2009, 10:13pm EDT

Thank you again Kathryn, you are too kind.

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Kushal Poddar Oct 14, 2009, 9:55pm EDT

Very interesting way to express it. atticus, I am really in love with this poetry.

household of faith

Atticus *. Oct 14, 2009, 10:14pm EDT

Thank Ku. I appreciate your thoughtful comment.

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Chris Brockman Oct 14, 2009, 10:20pm EDT

This is cool, like choose your own adventure books. Either way adventurous verse.

Atticus *. Oct 14, 2009, 10:23pm EDT

Ha! I love it. Thanks Chris.

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Susan Budig Oct 15, 2009, 2:26am EDT

I can say very little. Experimental poetry escapes me. I do know that you hit the prompts. I do know that your vocabulary is broad. I do know that this poem intrigues me with its structure and originality.

Prompts of October 14th, due by October 20th:

include the thoughts of an animal
something needs to be incongruous
use the Visual Thesaurus' Word-of-the-Day on the day that you write to this prompt
use the word happy or sad, but not both
tag with wwe

Atticus *. Oct 15, 2009, 6:09am EDT

"for whatever we lose (like a you or a me)/ it's always ourselves we find in the sea" e.e.cummings (it was his birthday yesterday 10/14/1894)

Thanks Susan, I appreciate the comment.

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Purrrrrrrrrrr~Genki dashite~Nantoka naru-yo! S. Oct 15, 2009, 10:15am EDT

surreal experimental is my sugar cube in the brew of prose~thanks for the poetic java~it is delicious~

Atticus *. Oct 15, 2009, 10:33am EDT

Thank you so much my friend Purrrrrrrrrrr, there is no greater honor.

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Purrrrrrrrrrr~Genki dashite~Nantoka naru-yo! S. Oct 15, 2009, 10:15am EDT

Thanks for posting to GutterGirls~

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Adrian Eve Revenaugh Oct 15, 2009, 1:33pm EDT

A return to vigor, robust and adventurous }{ this language gives surprise.

i celebrate e.e. too.

Brilliant ~ ~ The Circus

Atticus *. Oct 15, 2009, 3:01pm EDT

Hi Ade! It's not really surreal, but it's the closest I've come in a while so I wanted to take the opportunity to post at The Surreal Circus! thanks so much for your energizing comment. :-)

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Siddartha Pierce Oct 15, 2009, 6:43pm EDT

Superbly divine imagery - I can just hear and taste the grinds and scratches. e.e. cummings is certainly one of my favorite writers - have you read 'My sweet old etcetera' - your work reminds me of that work as well - 'you lips, your knees, your sweet old etcetera' - or something of the like. Kudos and thank you for sharing your talent.
Light,
Siddartha

Atticus *. Oct 16, 2009, 10:52am EDT

Hey thanks so much Sid. I don't recall "my sweet old etcetera" but I'll look it up!

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Andrea Grenadier Oct 15, 2009, 7:54pm EDT

Atticus, this belongs in the surreal circus! I really like the stanza:

You (are) wont to live in the secret,

classrooms; your current lovers’ /unborn

dreams scratch future chalkboards

And then there's a line that just sits there! Well.

Hey, I just met Siddartha yesterday! She's lovely, and a remarkably talented artist.

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Andrea Grenadier Oct 15, 2009, 7:55pm EDT

But seriously, I love the imagery, and think that with some visual tightening, you have something mystical here.

Atticus *. Oct 16, 2009, 11:00am EDT

Thanks Andrea, I always appreciate your thoughts very much - do you see something in particular that you would "tighten"? I would love to have your input. As to your thought about it being surreal: I saw that aspect too and although I think it is has some of that quality, I really view it as more of a language puzzle.

Andrea Grenadier Oct 16, 2009, 8:47pm EDT

I meant space-wise! I'm not sure I understand why the lines are so far apart; it made it harder to connect the words together. It IS like a word puzzle, which is one of the reasons I liked it so much!

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Georgiana S. Oct 15, 2009, 8:07pm EDT

the ocean does poke one back!

Atticus *. Oct 16, 2009, 11:01am EDT

Thanks Georgiana, It does, doesn't it?

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Georgiana S. Oct 16, 2009, 8:11pm EDT

knocks me down, these days!

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Barbary Chaapel Oct 24, 2009, 2:26pm EDT

Just my cup of sea. Kudos, Atticus, great use of prompts.

Atticus *. Oct 25, 2009, 10:49am EDT

Hey Barbary, Thanks so much for visiting my pages. I always love to see your comments on my work.

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Larry W. Nov 8, 2009, 11:29am EST

thanks for sharing.

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