by Sarah A. Appreciates Gather Enforcing TOS
Member since:
December 1, 2008

I Didn't Write an Article All Morning - Here's Why...

October 14, 2009 01:38 PM EDT (Updated: October 14, 2009 02:07 PM EDT)
views: 160 | comments: 113

It's raining.  I'm depressed.  My family is mean to me.  No one understands me.  My hair is turning gray.  My feet are too big.  Three of my friends didn't even comment on my last article.  Charles won't answer my pings.  Five of my hairs fell out when I brushed my hair.  Pantsy, Tracy, Aniko, Peregrine, Sandy, DR and OH, a whole bunch of other people are smarter and more talented than I am.  My cat doesn't love me.   My pond is cold.  Obama is a Socialist.  My car is dirty.  I'm not even rich or thin.  And... and... and... I have short-term memory problems.

That's why.

Also, the frog is way smarter than I am!

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Comments: 113

Lewis (taking over Gather) K. Oct 14, 2009, 1:42pm EDT
Well, by George, here's a ten and a love ya!
You need a heated pond. I hate cold ponds.
I tried an extension cord and an immersion heater, but it just didn't work out.
You need a coal fired boiler. I'll bet you can dig some in the back yard. :)
Too true. In fact, I have my very own mini strip mine up on the ridge.
Vivian P. Oct 14, 2009, 2:35pm EDT
I put out a heated water bowl ya need to borrow it ?
Kris M. Oct 16, 2009, 8:52am EDT
I hear hot springs are nice this time of year.
Oh poor hunny~ come to mmma Purr~ I'll make you vegan lasagna and share my Xanax and cognac~
Can you meet my plane?
of course~ Philly~ we'll go see Sherman Alexie together toward the end of the month at the Library~ we'll get him enamored and make him read his poetry to us all night while the other men rub our feet and bake us a nice rum and Xanax cake~ =D
You didn't mention me?!

I've never been so hurt that I'm going to write an article about it
And I'll put the period I'm missing up there, right here. .
You come in under "others". Also, there is no phrase to describe you and how I am so not you and how much I wish I were like you to say nothing of having as much fun as you and also wish I had your shoes.
I'm not having fun! I'm wailing and crying and self-flagellating today! It's all because you didn't include me.

I guess I'll go eat worms.
Ishbel R. Oct 14, 2009, 2:19pm EDT
Make that worms for two, Ina.
*GASP!!*

You forgot Izzy, too?

Izzy, you better write an article, and fast!
Ishbel R. Oct 14, 2009, 2:30pm EDT
I just might.

That's a threat.
With video?
Ishbel R. Oct 14, 2009, 5:23pm EDT
No video.
Ishbel R. Oct 14, 2009, 5:30pm EDT
But I made good on my threat. I wrote an article.
sharon SugarMomma is a wise woman, Oct 15, 2009, 8:49am EDT
I never get mentioned, ever. I am potatoes au gratin.
OK, next time I'm copying my entire friends list into the article. No one want's to stand up and be counted under the "others" clause.

Sheesh! {;~')
If you don't mention people in your articles, they are not going to remain your friends.
Dame Ruth, Chief Executive Elitist D. Oct 14, 2009, 2:13pm EDT
Cheer up, kiddo...it's gonna get worse. Before you know what hit you, you'll be creaking and groaning and the idea of writing an article will exhaust you. Then you'll look back and see today as 'the good old days' as you squint through your cataracts to see what you have writ.
Glad I have something to look forward to. Now I have the strength to go on and perhaps write another really silly article, assuming I can find my reading glasses...

When do I get to be old and venerated? Soon? God, I hope so!
I refuse to think of today as the "good old days", especially when referring to Gather.
Good point. Now I'm even more depressed.
There. I did it. I don't think I can take being ignored like this any more.
Vivian P. Oct 14, 2009, 2:33pm EDT
don't fret darling that frog is smarter than a lot of us.
Now I must comfort poor Ina
Oh I posted an article on rain with postures an everything
Link?
David K. Oct 14, 2009, 2:43pm EDT
This is even more bizarre than the post that led me here. Is this like one of those dreams where the world has ended and I missed it because the batteries in my alarm clock had died?
Just wait until you've seen all the ensuing rants. You'll be sorry you woke up at all...
David K. Oct 14, 2009, 2:56pm EDT
I already am.
Dame Ruth, Chief Executive Elitist D. Oct 14, 2009, 2:45pm EDT
"When do I get to be old and venerated?"

Old? Any minute now. Venerated? I'm still waiting. (but then, I'm only 84).
CC Miranda the artrat (or am i?) Oct 14, 2009, 3:26pm EDT
your smarter than me right now because i can't think of anything witty to say today at all it seems.
La Lady Lisa Westerfield Oct 14, 2009, 3:46pm EDT
Sarah, we are in the same boat. Do you want to split a six-pack of beer?
Split one?!

Amateur.
Leo Lemmer Oct 14, 2009, 3:49pm EDT
You are smart enough for me. I read everything you write. And I love yur blonde bangs.
Sorry, those are my mother's bangs. *sigh*.
Ishbel R. Oct 14, 2009, 5:41pm EDT
What are these bangs of which you speak?
Fringe, Ishbel, fringe.
Ishbel R. Oct 15, 2009, 4:12am EDT
Ah.... I thought this was some kind of code for something 'not quaite naice'!
Hmmm. Does make you wonder where the term came from. Fringe makes sense. Bangs makes no sense at all...
Ishbel R. Oct 15, 2009, 5:06am EDT
Damn this common language! I'm going to have to wiki or google for the reason.
Ishbel R. Oct 15, 2009, 5:55am EDT
I did. Here it is:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fringe_(hair)
sharon SugarMomma is a wise woman, Oct 15, 2009, 8:51am EDT
Fringe is a great show that is, unfortunately, on an awful network.
Aniko   Oct 14, 2009, 4:04pm EDT
I don't understand this article.
Dannielle S. Oct 14, 2009, 6:59pm EDT
Scary, since your name appears in it, then, yes?
Aniko   Oct 14, 2009, 7:39pm EDT
Yes, indeed! Though I must admit the company looks cool.
Dannielle S. Oct 14, 2009, 7:47pm EDT
It's a cool crowd on the outside, too, if I do say so myself...
Aniko   Oct 14, 2009, 8:50pm EDT
"Outside" is an uncertain category when a "whole bunch of other people" are also inside. (You see how confused I am?)
Dannielle S. Oct 14, 2009, 9:06pm EDT
I don't see you as confused, really. I think we are both observing the marvels of vague statements.

While you are named specifically, I am not, but could as easily be included as excluded, thanks to the simple "whole bunch of other people" statement. I could say I am "all that" and who could disagree?
Aniko   Oct 14, 2009, 9:09pm EDT
Not me, certainly. Except about me not being confused. (And I haven't yet listened to the school district's presentation of their master plan. That's at 7 PT...)
Yes! Danielle clearly knows I was speaking of her - and so she's not insulted! I amaze myself sometimes. (Danielle always amazes me..)
Dannielle S. Oct 14, 2009, 9:22pm EDT
It's that ability to type without appendages, isn't it?
Ishbel R. Oct 15, 2009, 4:24am EDT
OK, so perhaps Ina and I are a little more sensitive than the average Gather member. Can we help that?
Dannielle S. Oct 15, 2009, 7:10pm EDT
You really shouldn't "help it" -- look at all the points you can earn from the related articles.
Ishbel R. Oct 16, 2009, 8:26am EDT
Sigh... Whilst I can earn points, Danielle, those points can't be turned into rewards... I'm a foreigner!
Ian Thorpe Oct 16, 2009, 9:13am EDT
Ishbel,
They say you can have points paid into your paypal account. I don't know but we're going to try it to boost my daughters car fund. The more she collects from various souces the less I will have to stump up to relpace her 10 year old Punto that has been all over Europe now.

Cars tend to be passed on from generation to generation in our family and the Punto will go to my Nevvie. My son drives an 18 year old Volvo that was mine and another nephew has a Morris 1000 that was originally his grandad's.

So my gather points could buy a car that will be in the family for centuries.
Ishbel R. Oct 16, 2009, 10:16am EDT
WOW - my driving lessons were in a Morris 1000 - first car was an MGB GT - Dad bought it and I still have it in the garage as a 'restoration project' for my husband.... Yeah, right!

Good luck with your purchase of a family heirloom with your PP account monies.... Now, if I only knew what paypal was....
Aniko   Oct 16, 2009, 8:21pm EDT
Ishbel, they're working on solving that problem with this unfortunate business of foreignness. Haven't they told you so many times? Have a little faith!

(That sounds like a good plan, Ian.)
Ishbel R. Oct 17, 2009, 3:47pm EDT
heheheeeee - you sound like a cynical European there, Aniko.... Oh yes, that's right, you ARE one!
Tracy Fabre Oct 14, 2009, 5:47pm EDT
THAT's the spirit!

I think I'm one of the three who didn't comment on your last post, but in my defense, I hain't been around much due to 3-D life crap. But that shouldn't spoil your wonderfully penned tale of woe!
Don't you hate that 3-D life crap? And in living color, too. Ptui!
Tracy Fabre Oct 14, 2009, 5:57pm EDT
Not lately. It's all been gray -- even the people -- for over a week. Until today... when it happened... I swear it's true, I SWEAR: the sun appeared! I felt like I was watching Pleasantville when the colors began to appear.
Tracy Fabre Oct 14, 2009, 6:08pm EDT
YES! Exactly like that. Ahhhh....
I'd forgotten that one. A good Beatles song. Who'd a thunk it?

Of course, I've had Every Breath You Take stuck in my head for days and it may have softened my outlook.
libramoon C. Oct 14, 2009, 5:58pm EDT
Best article I've seen all day.
Susan G. Oct 14, 2009, 6:06pm EDT
I'm a whole bunch of people all by myself and you didn't mention me either. No one mentions the hermit! Just because I don't pay much attention to their stuff, people think they can ignore me! ! ! And now I gotta work, too. Life is unfair. (But I'm not going to write an article about it because that might be too much like working.)
Tracy Fabre Oct 14, 2009, 6:11pm EDT
You have the right idea, Susan. Avoid even thinking about work, as it leads only to madness.
I'm living proof that work is not good for you. Only lying around with a box of chocolates and a detective story is good for you. Though Purrrr's rum and Xanax cake sounds like a good addition.
ann c. Oct 14, 2009, 6:51pm EDT
I didn't get mentioned either but then I didn't comment on Sarah's last article so I'd better do a comment on this one.
Save yourself, ann. I'm pretty sure I commented on at least one or two of her last articles, but I've been forsaken.

Life ain't fair.d Sarah ain't fair.

Roundel

She's passing fair; but so demure is she,
So quiet is her gown, so smooth her hair,
That few there are who note her and agree
She's passing fair.

Yet when was ever beauty held more rare
Than simple heart and maiden modesty?
What fostered charms with virtue could compare?

Alas, no lover ever stops to see;
The best that she is offered is the air.
Yet- if the passing mark is minus D-
She's passing fair.

Dorothy Parker
Nellie (The Bad Santa of Gather) Oct 14, 2009, 6:26pm EDT
I am stomping my feet because I didn't write about it first, then made a comment that drew away from what I wrote because what I wrote wasn't what I meant to write so I wanted to add the comment so you people would understand what I wrote but my comment meant more.

Whew....

That was exhausting...now what are we talking about?
Tracy Fabre Oct 14, 2009, 6:34pm EDT
I dunno, but that was some fine stomping.
Truly! Excellent stomping!
Grand tantrum! Brava!
Katrina Hall Oct 14, 2009, 6:37pm EDT
The drama - oh! That cheered me right up. Y'all can pout way better than me.
I been practicing all week...
ann c. Oct 14, 2009, 6:51pm EDT
Here is a comment so maybe I will get included in a future non-article post thingy.
ann c. Oct 14, 2009, 6:52pm EDT
Whoops, I had to go back and give you a TEN!!!
We thank you. The cats thank you. The dogs thank you. The hamster thanks you. The frogs thank you.

In short, thank you!
Kristi C. Oct 14, 2009, 6:56pm EDT
How the hell did I get dragged into this? Oh, wait, you meant Nippy Katz didn't you. Well now I'm just going to have to go pout about how nobody likes me.
Hey, I love all frogs! I have to, I must have thousands of them... if they every band together and turn on me, I'm toast. Or flies, or something.
sharon SugarMomma is a wise woman, Oct 15, 2009, 8:56am EDT
I would like you Kristi, but who are you? Then again, who am I?

What is the meaning of it all?

Dame! Come and tell us before fang chimes in,
Look out, Sharon. You may have just conjured it.
Kris M. Oct 16, 2009, 8:55am EDT
Does anybody smell brimstone and Rembrandt?
Dannielle S. Oct 14, 2009, 7:01pm EDT
My empathy for the stag has increased, somehow.
I have that effect.
Allow me to mention that since I posted my first total non-article several days ago, I've earned 75 points.

TOM? TOM G.? Are you listening????
Kristi C. Oct 14, 2009, 7:30pm EDT
So THAT'S the secret.
Dannielle S. Oct 14, 2009, 7:48pm EDT
It's all about traffic.
Now you've gone and done it. Once you bring Tom's attention to it, the points drastically drop.

Girl, ya gotta learn the ropes. Stop skipping class.
But if I don't skip class, how will I ever learn anything. 'Sides, Tom never reads my posts. *whew*
JOHN BECK Oct 14, 2009, 10:44pm EDT
You're just down because we didn't produce that guy we built for you. Time to sing the blues.
I am still waiting for Mr. Right. *sigh*
Although, since I own my house, my car is paid for and I get a disability check every month, I am nigh on to the perfect East Kentucky woman.

Were I to stock my pond with bass, they'd be busting my door down. *SIGH*
Vivian P. Oct 15, 2009, 4:59pm EDT
Sarah I have a single 34yr old son his name is Mr. Wright
JOHN BECK Oct 16, 2009, 12:10am EDT
Does he match the guy we built for Sarah?
Grems 'gremlin' Oct 15, 2009, 1:23pm EDT
Crap, I'm an other as well. *wanders off, looking for her muse and her wonderment*
Aniko   Oct 15, 2009, 4:39pm EDT
(Sarah--if you feel under pressure here, ask Charles about what happened when one day he inadvertently posted an article with the preposition for and a (now departed) Gather member's name in the title...)
I went back and read through several of them. What a blast from the past! Some of my favorite funny peeps, and I miss them. :o(

Even though I still see them, I don't see them here. It's not the same.
I could ask, Aniko, but (*sigh*), Charles won't answer my pings, (see above). I have fallen out of favor with God. I am no longer in a State of Grace. I wander in the vast desert where lives the spiritual outcast.

Either that or he hasn't checked his ping page.
Yikes! I can see I have MY work cut out for me. Of course, being omnipotent, Charles probably did his pretty fast.
Aniko   Oct 15, 2009, 7:07pm EDT
Just keep talking about him and he'll show up.

Wait... That's the other guy... Never mind.
Dannielle S. Oct 15, 2009, 7:14pm EDT
Wow! I'd forgotten all about that little series of articles -- were they still articles at that point, or had they become "posts"?
Sadly, I believe they were still articles.
Aniko   Oct 15, 2009, 7:32pm EDT
I see the word "article" used in them, but then Charlesians have always tended to be conservative in their language use. To give a more reliable answer, I would have to do some research or something...
Aniko   Oct 15, 2009, 7:33pm EDT
Sorry, crosspost. (I think so, too.)
Aniko   Oct 15, 2009, 7:35pm EDT
(It was the same upgrade that made us "share" instead of "publish" and turned our "images" into "photos".)
Dannielle S. Oct 15, 2009, 7:52pm EDT
Ah, yes: the beginning of the admission that it was not truly a writers' site. Before that, "articles" suggested it might have been one.

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