How do you deal with stress?

Your husband is walking a dangerous path. I'm glad that you and the younger children will be moving up north shortly. Hopefully, they won't end up following your husband's path; unfortunately, it seems that your teen is already heading down that road.

Just keep packing and doing what you have to do. Ignore your husband and his outbursts. Responding only adds fuel to the fire; of course, they will keep pushing buttons and trying to elicit a response. I know how that goes, and I know that responding doesn't solve anything--whether the response be quiet and reasonable or loud and angry.

Yes, it is a dangerous path. I can see it. It hurts not being able to prevent it or do anything about it. I am scared for my younger kids and I am still scared for my teen more than for myself.

I do realize I did not handle things well and he was looking for a reaction out of me and I gave it to him. I fell right into it. Even when I do keep quiet, than he believes I am non supporting him. Those are his words.

All I know is I gave each of my kids a very big hug when they came home today. probably the only smart thing I did all day.

There is no winning when someone is being like that. Trust me, I know. Of course, knowing that doesn't keep you from walking into the trap. I know that, too.

I don't know what the solution is for your teen, other than therapy. Of course, that's something he will have to choose to do, and he's not going to be willing to do that until if and when he realizes there is a problem.

I too am concerned with your husbands reaction. I will be praying for you honey big hugs.
I have lots of problems with stress You need to take some time for yourself. I know that sounds like a lot maybe even impossible. I do however blow out a candle ( inhale and exhale quickly pretending to blow out a flame on my finger ) even just taking deep breaths can help

Thank you Heather and Vivian for your support and encouragement. it did really help.

I am trying to encourage my teen to open up and talk when he goes to his swafit meeting. if he does that he can get therepy. But the choice is his.

I will try blowing the lit candle out on my finger tip and see if that will help.

Have you noticed the fighting, stress, and threats have not cured the money issues so why bother. Take back control you money situation check out some budgeting websites like Dave Ramsey or Clark Howard's on tips to regain control

Yes, I do know it does not cure the money problem. I did say I know I handled the situation wrong.

Just think only a week!

Ya know that was brought up to. Now he says he don't know how he is going to get us up north. There is no money. Even thou he had 2000 from his 401k pulled out just for the trip...its gone. That was one of the fights about money as I have been stuck at home and haven' spent any.

Aren't there organizations for women trying to leave situations like this? I am not sure where you look but I know that there are relocation services. They may be underground and go by word of mouth but I would find any way out that I could. I mean $2000 where in the world did that go?

If there are organizations in my area, I don't know of them. As for the $2000, I am not sure where it went. There is nothing to show for it. I know it isn't groceries. As we didn't go shopping this weekend, or last weekend.

I meant grocery shopping.

I usually try to avoid stressful situations but right now that doesn't seem like much of an option for you. Money is not worth committing suicide over. I'm sorry for all those problems and will be praying for you and your family. Comforting hugs and best wishes.
I guess just keep talking and getting support here?

I do try and avoid stressful situationas well. I agree money is not worth committin suicide over.

Thank you for the prayers. Right now my family could really really use them.

Oh Sandy, I'm so terribly, terribly sorry.............what in the world did your hubby do with that $2,000 he got out of his 401K for the trip? Gosh, what a terrible situation you're in.....and not being able to have the AC in such ungodly hot weather..........I really, truly wish I had some answers........I am keeping you and your family in my prayers.......do you have a church/pastor that you could go talk to? I think meditation and prayer are both good for stress........listen to some soft, quiet music.
I surely hope things will turn around for you soon.

I think the prayers are helping. As I feel a little better and upbeat today.

I have thought about talking about the pastor of the church my kids go to. But I haven't because I know the church is struggling financially right now. as they hav been sending out weekly emails stating they don't hve enough money to cover thngs right now.

not having enough money is a problem with most right now. I guess it would be best if we could just do what we can.
But the guys seem to take these things harder than we women do.

Yes, money is a big problem for many. In my area alone over 25% are unemployed due to the economy. That doesn't include the illegal alien count.

I'm sorry, that sounds so awful for you both and the kids too. I know when it is hot here, I dont' handle the heat well and that stresses me out too. The only thing I can think of if it is hot and you can't use the AC is to keep fans on and keep yourself wet. When I didn't have AC a few years back, I took four or five showers a day and did not dry off and then went and sat or laid in front of the fan. It isn't ideal but it did help me a bit. Oh and I wore as few clothes as I could away with and still be "decent." I don't know any stress relievers though and I could use a few myself even but the economy and the financial trouble is really bad for an awful lot of us, so we are in a similar boat. I am diabetic and I had to ask my mom to pay the co-pay on my meds because after the rent is paid and I bought myself a big bottle of Tylenol (store brand), I have $4 to last the month and if that isn't bad enough, next month, California is cutting our checks again (third time this year) and I have no clue what to do. So vent away, I think we all need too and hopefully things will improve for all of us. Gotta have hope or else suicide does start looking like a viable option (I too have depression issues and it really is the pitts!).

My husband finally turned the AC on last night. because Iwas goingto cut my hair off for being so hot. It is down past the middle of my back. He didn't want me to cut it. But i don't knw how long he will keep it on.

I was shot in the leg accidently 4 years ago by my husband on our wedding anniversary. I still continue to have sevre pain , swelling and muscle spasums. Plus problems walking. Not having no medication to deal with the pain. because stuff like advil doesn't help. Really makes a difference when it comes to moods as well.

I am sorry you are living thru this mess. Do you have a church. Most churches will help you relocate. If it is better for you and the children. They will like buy you a buss ticket or some thing like that

Family members up north have come through and is going to help send money. my mom called my stepmom and they talked...talk about a shocker and a half......but its a good thing.

Do you know Christ as your personal Savior? My relationship with Christ is what gets me through. Read your Bible. Find a church that uses reads from the bible (maybe I am telling you things you already know:). I agree with what others have said to about safety for you and your kids. As the lady said above, talk to a church or if you even know of a RAVE facility near by. This verse keeps coming to my mind...(it is Jesus talking)
Matthew 4:28-30
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
www.needhim.com
I will pray for you!

Thank you for the prayers, they are helping.

Yes, I do know Jesus Christ as my savior.

you know I wish I could help more, I do have this one friend eho threaten to commit sucide on me, I told him to go for it. if you feel this is a easy way out for you go for it, I will tell your kids and friend and family how much a coward you were. You know he is still around and that was 15 yrs ago,, I just showed him his threats dont scare me, this is waht I am tring to get across.. go forth and be yourself for you and the kids

Suicide scares me. I think that is why i told my husband I would smack in the mouth if he mentions it. But I was right that was what he was talking about.

I'm so sorry Sandy. I know how you feel. Money is a HUGE stressor for me too. VENT VENT VENT, we are all here for you!!! *HUGS*

Thank you...venting did help.

and the fighting makes the stress worse what a terrible cycle for you to be having to go through right now!! I am so sorry you are going through this.

Yes, fighting makes stress worse..i wish my teen would learn that.

Oh Sandi, I am sorry to hear all this. I don't like your husband's reaction at all and I know it well. My first husband had an awful temper. Since you already have a plan to relocate, try to ignore him as much as possible (gosh, I know that's much easier said than done when they deliberately dance on your last nerve - try to hang in there).

I am also upset about the missing money. I do suggest you talk to someone at a local church, community center or clinic about your situation. You would be amazed at what resources are available when you reach out. I've had help many times from strangers and organizations. Without them, I don't know where I would be today. They might be able to help you relocate, deal with the current situation, etc.

Heat aggravates the anxiety and depression, what a vicious cycle! We had no AC money this summer either - I kept ice in a glass and set in front of a fan. Drinking ice water, pour it over my head, cold rags on my forehead. Helps to offset those awful headaches. There is a natural calming supplement sold at CVS, etc. for under $5 - Calms Forte. It does help.

My prayers are with you. Message me anytime. We are all here for you ((hugs))

Thank you, I will try and see if I can get some of that before I leave.

I have family members going to help out. It really shocked me.

Oh Sandy, I am so saddened to hear this!!! You poor thing...you know you can come to me anytime you want and I will talk to you over the net or I'll call you back if you give me a call when he's not there or something and you can vent to me too!
I know what you are going through. I used to be married to a man who had explosive disorder and did he ever make my life a living h...!! I had to divorce him when I was only 3 mos pregnant with my 10 year old daughter.
I have to take my meds for my BP/Anxiety Disorder and I do hope when you get away, even if you have to take your kids and go to a Womens Shelter you need to go to a doctor and see what he says for sure!!! I love ya friend and I have said a prayer for you!!! Thinking of you Sandy!!

As soon as I get the move done and settled. I will send you the number where I will be staying so we can talk..I promise. Thank you for your messages, they relly help.

Okay...I'll be waiting Sandy! You will probably have to call and leave me a message with your no. the first time because I usually don't answer calls if I don't know who it is and I'll call you back or if I hear you leaving a message and telling who you are I will pick up...okay? Just say Sandy from Gather and I'll know! Love ya and peace be with you girl!!! {{{hugs}}}

Stress is also with us now since SS cut us way back. We are trying our best to make it. Let the stress out to your friends and we'll listen. That's what I do. Having friends willing to listen and give you support that you need helps in the long run.

Nancy. I do hope things turn around for you. I have heard from alot of people on SS that theirs have been cut recently. I hop that isn't the goverments plan to save money on the new health reform bill. I don't know. Something doesn't seem right in the waters with SS right now to me. I can't put my finger on it.