by Jennifer Lee

Member since:
December 31, 2008

Addiction and Paranoid

October 08, 2009 02:25 AM EDT (Updated: October 28, 2009 11:04 PM EDT)

views: 155 | comments: 67

Addiction

In search of a pleasure rush,

Family ignore my spirit crush.

Problems ascend into the sky.

My mind rests on a cloud.

My soul collides with the moon.

I relish the moments of escape.

Fears subside for an instant.

Need increases with each breath.

Memories flash like Christmas lights

inviting me to return to childhood.

History repeats itself, I am incomplete.

A dark cocoon remains on the bathroom floor.

Paranoid

New neighbors

Vagrant teens

Drug addicts

Peddlers

Late nights

Nuisance

Call the police

Locked in jail

Vacant house

Problems cease

Until thieves

break in

Fear set in

Paranoid?

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Comments: 67

Elsie Duggan Oct 8, 2009, 2:46am EDT

Both poems very well done Jennifer, perhaps the two are related

Jennifer Lee Oct 8, 2009, 9:23am EDT

Yes, both are about my neighbors. A mother and son, both drug addicts and now in jail. Thank you, Elsie.

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Kathryn E. Oct 8, 2009, 2:48am EDT

Very well done.

Featured in the Triple Name Club.

Jennifer Lee Oct 8, 2009, 9:23am EDT

Thanks, Kathryn!

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Deb J. Oct 8, 2009, 3:09am EDT

Very good Jennifer!!!!! You have a way with words!

Jennifer Lee Oct 8, 2009, 9:24am EDT

Thank you, Deb!

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Sidewinder 7 Oct 8, 2009, 3:47am EDT

This sounds like my sisters neighborhood. Her life would be described almost similar to this. Good going, Jennifer.

Jennifer Lee Oct 8, 2009, 9:24am EDT

I hope the house forecloses soon and I'll have new neighbors. Thanks, Side!

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Elizabeth Ann R. Oct 8, 2009, 4:06am EDT

Well written, Jennifer. That is why I am always thrilled to have teenagers in the neighborhood. Means there are a lot of people moving at strange times of the night and no crime. They do, however, need to be good teenagers. LOL!

Jennifer Lee Oct 8, 2009, 9:25am EDT

Thank you, Elizabeth! These teens were selling drugs and always up to no good in the middle of the night.

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William Dotani Oct 8, 2009, 4:42am EDT

I like the imagery in the first one. It has a slightly uneven flow which tends to fit nicely with your theme.

Jennifer Lee Oct 8, 2009, 9:25am EDT

Thanks, Bill!

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david f. Oct 8, 2009, 7:16am EDT

excellent! a dark cocoon remains on the bathroom floor - beautiful.

paranoia? more like common sense healthy fear. ; )

nicely done.

Jennifer Lee Oct 8, 2009, 9:27am EDT

That line refers to the narrator's black out and I've asked for more frequent security patrols in my neighborhood. Thanks, David!

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Purrrrrrrrrrr~Genki dashite~Nantoka naru-yo! S. Oct 8, 2009, 8:05am EDT

excellent verbal flair ~

Jennifer Lee Oct 8, 2009, 9:27am EDT

Thank you, Purrty!

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Purrrrrrrrrrr~Genki dashite~Nantoka naru-yo! S. Oct 8, 2009, 8:05am EDT

Thanks for posting to GutterGirls~

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Robert - just a simple man - B. Oct 8, 2009, 8:13am EDT

You have indeed grown so well in your craft. These are excellent. Both! Neither inferior to the other; in fact complimentary to one another. You, sweetie, have just equalled Kushal.

For some reason, this grabs me the most: "History repeats itself, I am incomplete.

A dark cocoon remains on the bathroom floor."

Kudos.

Jennifer Lee Oct 8, 2009, 9:28am EDT

Wow! Robert~that is a HUGE compliment and I am beyond flattered. Thank you so much!

Robert - just a simple man - B. Oct 8, 2009, 9:35am EDT

started your day with a smile did I? Well, you deserved it.

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JOHN BECK Oct 8, 2009, 8:38am EDT

I agree that the last line in the first is the frosting on the cake! Both are excellent but you know I'll almost always comment on something. I have a slight problem with the title of your second because "paranoia", although frequently used in lay language, refers to a specific type of psychosis. The adjective "paranoid" would be a more strictly appropriate title.
I'm reminded of The Cain Mutiny Court Martial, a tremendous play.

Jennifer Lee Oct 8, 2009, 9:29am EDT

I changed both the title and the last line of the first poem. I hope it is more grammatically correct now. Thank you kindly, John!

Jennifer Lee Oct 8, 2009, 9:30am EDT

correction that should be the second poem, still half asleep. lol

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Kushal Poddar Oct 8, 2009, 8:41am EDT

Paranoia is very interesting experiment. I love the poem.

little songs of dawn

Jennifer Lee Oct 8, 2009, 9:30am EDT

Thank you, Ku!

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Dawn (a kitty-kin on the wall) Oct 8, 2009, 8:49am EDT

I've lived in that neighborhood before. I can relate to the paranoia.

Jennifer Lee Oct 8, 2009, 9:30am EDT

I want to move, but can't afford anything better yet. I hope they sell first. Thanks, Dawn!

Dawn (a kitty-kin on the wall) Oct 8, 2009, 11:00am EDT

I feel you. been there done that. lived in neighborhoods not fit for animals. it was all I and my roommates could afford at the time. de nada!

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Dawn (a kitty-kin on the wall) Oct 8, 2009, 8:51am EDT

the two indeed go hand in hand. with addiction comes paranoia. if you're already naturally paranoid to begin with, after addiction, you are more paranoid. with paranoia sometimes comes addiction. some ppl choose addiction to take away the symptoms of paranoia.

Jennifer Lee Oct 8, 2009, 9:32am EDT

I have never been addicted to drugs. The narrator in the first poem is my neighbor who allowed her son to use and sell drugs under her nose. Thanks for reading and commenting, Dawn!

Dawn (a kitty-kin on the wall) Oct 8, 2009, 11:03am EDT

I had once. quit cold turkey. it took the death of my best friend and the cruelty of an ex to make me quit. I've known ppl like that. where I used to live, long time ago, the kid used to sell drugs by riding his bicycle around the neighborhood. took the ppl of the neighborhood a long time to figure out what he was doing until one day he sold drugs to the wrong person. his parents made the drugs and had him sell the drugs on his bicycle to their clients. it was a big drug bust at that time and the kid was only 12. he was made to sell the drugs like such to earn his keep at home like the parents told him.

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Dawn (a kitty-kin on the wall) Oct 8, 2009, 8:52am EDT

been there done that.

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Sue Lee Oct 8, 2009, 9:32am EDT

some 30 years ago, I tried hallucinogens and once had an experience where indeed I felt like an empty husk while strange things happened all around. Very well written!!

Jennifer Lee Oct 8, 2009, 9:34am EDT

Thank you for reading, Sue! We have the same middle name!

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Ann M. (Site Scryer) Oct 8, 2009, 10:37am EDT

The rhythm of the second poem reminds me of William Dotani's work.

Thank you for posting to The Surreal Circus.

Jennifer Lee Oct 8, 2009, 8:31pm EDT

Thank you for reading, Ann!

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Marilyn is looking for whatever there is. N. Oct 8, 2009, 11:01am EDT

Hi Jennifer,

These two, to me, go together so well. One neighbor's problems leading to feeding off another ones. Yes, I do hope either they move or you do. You did a superb job on these.

Featured in the group, Poets, New and Old.

Thanks!

Marilyn

Jennifer Lee Oct 8, 2009, 8:32pm EDT

Thank you, Marilyn! This was such a nice surprise to come home and read your comment. I appreciate the honor very much!

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Dawn (a kitty-kin on the wall) Oct 8, 2009, 11:04am EDT

I was addicted once. I quit. it was over 3 years ago.

Jennifer Lee Oct 8, 2009, 8:33pm EDT

You are so strong. I admire you, Dawn.

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vivi emerson Oct 8, 2009, 1:42pm EDT

I particularly like the two lines about memories like christmas lights and the use of the word "inviting." Well done. Been there and done that myself in the past.

Jennifer Lee Oct 8, 2009, 8:33pm EDT

Thank you, Vivi!

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Madame Butterfly ~~ mary ann d ~~ Oct 8, 2009, 6:43pm EDT

I hope you get new neighbors soon. I lived in a scary apartment building once. Home should be a sanctuary. I hated to go home. I've since moved. I hope your situation improves one way or another.

Jennifer Lee Oct 8, 2009, 8:35pm EDT

Thanks, Madame! My neighbor situation is a bit scary, but work is worse. I think I need a vacation.

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Georgiana S. Oct 8, 2009, 8:59pm EDT

haunting images for your neigbourhood! Very good Jenn

Jennifer Lee Oct 8, 2009, 10:33pm EDT

Thank you, Georgie!

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M C. Oct 8, 2009, 9:12pm EDT

Extremely well done, Jennifer.

Jennifer Lee Oct 8, 2009, 10:34pm EDT

Thank you, MC!

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Mark N. Oct 8, 2009, 10:06pm EDT

Excellent work Jennifer,
Featured at First Time Writers
with many thanks
Mark

Jennifer Lee Oct 8, 2009, 10:35pm EDT

Thank you, Mark! I greatly appreciate the honor!

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james laird Oct 9, 2009, 3:20am EDT

They are both excellent,you are right up there with the best of them.Big hugs and kisses,
james

Jennifer Lee Oct 10, 2009, 1:29pm EDT

Thank you, babe! xoxox

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Sharon P. Oct 9, 2009, 12:32pm EDT

Wonderful descriptions Jenifer.

Jennifer Lee Oct 10, 2009, 1:29pm EDT

Thank you, Sharon!

Sharon P. Oct 10, 2009, 6:32pm EDT

Your welcome.

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Randi Burnham-Brown Oct 10, 2009, 9:29pm EDT

They are both great Jennifer.

Jennifer Lee Oct 11, 2009, 1:19am EDT

Thank you, Randi!

Randi Burnham-Brown Oct 11, 2009, 9:22pm EDT

Your welcome Jen

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Alison H. Oct 11, 2009, 2:43am EDT

Potent poetry. Last line of the first, I agree, with others, so powerful.... and an edgy neighborhood makes one very watchful; in this case "paranoia" is useful.

Jennifer Lee Oct 28, 2009, 11:05pm EDT

Thank you for reading, Alison. I apologize for the delay in my reply. I haven't been here much lately.

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Ruthi C. Oct 11, 2009, 4:23pm EDT

The addict lives in history's cocoon...it can be repeated, it cannot be changed. Both well written Jennifer and of a theme that touches my heart.

Jennifer Lee Oct 28, 2009, 11:06pm EDT

The cocoon refers to a black out and I saw a couple of people have them. Thank you for reading, Ruthi!

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Charl Griessel Oct 24, 2009, 5:01am EDT

Makes me look over my shoulder and read everything twice. Just to be sure.
Paranoia can be good but overwhelms the spirit if it takes control
Look forward to your next adventure in writing

Jennifer Lee Oct 28, 2009, 11:07pm EDT

Thank you so much, Charl! I'm currently working on a poem about Amelia Earhart.

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R. Ellen M. Oct 28, 2009, 12:17pm EDT

I like the rhythm of both these pieces. The poems go very well together. They contrast enough to compliment and offer variety to the reader. But the link is easily discernible.

I love "my soul collides with the moon". I think I have felt that before! Even drug free! ;)

I think there might be one place you missed an opportunity for a break in the second poem I think I would think about breaking

Until thieves break in

to

Until thieves

break in

It matches your 2 and 3 syllable structure that you have throughout the whole poem. *laughing* like I am one to talk about structure but it is something I have been working at pretty hard lately. And this poem really has rythem. Well Done!