Pseudo listening: Is acting like you are listening when you really are not. A pseudo listener gives the appearance of listening or being attentive. They might look you straight in the eye, nod occasionally and smile now and then. This show of attention is a polite facade because their minds are somewhere else. In reality, pseudo listening can take more effort than simply tuning out the other person, probably because you have to remember to nod now and then and smile here and there.....
Stage-hogging: Sometimes called conversational narcissists try to turn topics of conversations to themselves instead of showing interest in the speaker. One strategy is a shift-response, which is changing the focus of the conversation from the speaker to the narcissist. For example:
- "You think your math class is tough? You ought to try my physics class!"
Interruptions are another hallmark of stage-hogging. Interruptions prevent the listener from learning potentially valuable information and can damage the relationship between the interrupter and the speaker. For example:
- Applicants who interrupt the questions of employment interviewers are likely to be rated less favorably than applicants who wait until the interviewer has finished speaking before they respond.
Selective Listening: Respond only to the parts of conversation that interest them and reject everything else. Sometimes selective listening is helpful as when screening out
radio commercials and keeping an ear open for a weather report or an announcement of the time.
Selective listening is less appropriate in personal settings, when your obvious inattention can be a slap in the face to the other person.
Insulated Listening: These are almost the opposite of selective listeners, instead of looking for specific information, these would avoid it. When a topic arises that they rather not deal with they simply fail to hear or acknowledge it. Remind them of a problem and they will nod or answer you, then promptly ignore or forget what you just said.
Defensive Listening: Take others' remarks as personal attacks. For example:
- The teenager who perceives her parents' questions about her friends and activities as distrustful snooping is using defensive listening
- touchy parents who view any questioning by their children as a threat to their authority and parental wisdom
Ambushing: Listen carefully to you but only because they are collecting information they will later use to attack what you say. For example:
- A cross-examining prosecution attorney
Using this listening technique in interpersonal communications will justifiably initiate defensiveness in the other person.
Insensitive Listening: Respond to the superficial content in a message and miss the more important emotional information that may be expressed indirectly. For example:
- One person says: "how's it going?" The insensitive listener might ask this question and the other person might say: "Oh, okay I guess" in a dejected tone, then the insensitive listener might respond with "Well, Great!" ignoring the nonverbal cues that say things are really not going all that well, the insensitive listener lacks empathy
Source: Looking Out Looking In 12 edition by Ronald B. Adler, Russell F. Proctor