If you’re like me you might kinda think that “Dancing With the Stars” and “American Idol” are produced by some shallow, thought-sucking group of savages with blandly uniform, sexually teasing (but not too teasing) sensibilities. However, I’ve thought of a new opportunity for those needing external focii in their imaginations: “Stadium Guitar”. Good for the kids who like to play with their electronic whizmasters. And invigorating.
Game: Stadium Guitar
Object: Navigate a timed 500 m course up and down stairs of a stadium whilst playing a preselected guitar score on a wireless Les Paul. Obstacles of beer and food vendors and intoxicated spectators.
Judging: Timing, tonal adherence to the score, and style in that AC/DC Young brothers kind of way.
Prize: Two Sherpas, 500 L of oxygen, a 1968 Les Paul, and a satellite connection with which to communicate the Guitar Ascent of K2!
I’d kind of like to see Stadium Trombone next year.
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