Thought~Byte No.170

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Absolutely. It is our resonsibility to help those children maintain their intelligence.

It is and we need to be attentive to do that.

From a parent's perspective it is our job to encourage our children to be life long learners. We have to ensure that ample opportunities for growth and development are available.

I believe this is a key element...

A habit of learning is very important, Linda — as is being exposed to the fact that is OK, in fact expected, that you change your mind on issues from time to time.

Ahem. Before one can help a child maintain genius-level intelligence, one has to have an almost genius intelligence to begin with.

LOL... I modestly agree... ;- )

Good one, Jeff.

Some say that all you have to do is stay out of the way of the child's learning. It is the roadblocks, mental and otherwise, we throw in the way of children that arrests their development.

And that roadblock is because it was the way WE were trained, taught, and educated. Never let your schooling get in the way of your education.

What I have seen, over time, is those who have college degrees believe they are smarter than the rest of the people. It ONLY means they were able to afford additional schooling with their own money. Others achieve it by using their minds, books, hanging with like-minded people. We should have two friends who are brighter than we are, one who is the same, and two who are not quite there whom you can help along the journey.

"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." Jim Rohn

Nice idea, Linda. Thanks.

Oh, that's true, John. Babies are smart, encouragement, fun games, and lots of praise keeps them going in that direction.

Negatives, neglect, labeling with not so nice things like, stupid, dumb, etc pretty much nose dives them into apathy and failure.

That's a good perspective, Sia. It is surprising how little effort can achieve such grand results.

so true!

Thanks, Blaine.

John, that was a very good bite. Naturally I have to highlight some variation in my byte. There is no denying the fact that parents need to take care of children and guide them through the childhood, teen and adolescence and have them achieve success in life. Most parents even forego their own happiness to see that children are brought up thoroughly till they attain a respectable career, and thus experience the solace of being assisted during their old age. However, there is a ticklish issue here. In their gusto to see their own children through to their education and well being, some parents tend to neglect other children. Quite surprising perhaps?

A few months back a lady teacher punished a girl of 12 because she had not memorized her lessons and made her stand for two long hours in the scorching sun. The next day the girl got ill and died. Hindus in India (and this is a peculiarity with people in India) normally abhor girl children as they (parents) have to incur huge amounts towards dowry and grandiose during their marriage. This fact makes them reluctant to have girl children. This is not to say that well-to-do families too nurse such mentality. No, rather rich families normally do note create any disparity between a boy or a girl. Moreover, Otherwise, there are people here who even get pregnant women checked up to find out if the child is boy or a girl. Indian laws forbid this but there are areas where doctors undertake such crude methods for the sake of money. We Christians do not go by this trend adopted by Hindus. Furthermore, Christians have no such custom of paying dowry at the time of girl’s marriage. We are naturally blessed with a broader outlook with regard to this particular issue.

My driving point is while I agree fully with your thought-awakening byte, in today’s world we also need to be more vigilant about children on the whole a majority of whom are addicted to drugs and things of the sort. These children could turn out to be stumbling blocks for other good children, no matter what amount of love and care parents may give them. If therefore, due care is not bestowed on children as a whole, there is every likelihood of children getting spoilt by other children in whose company they have to move about.

Well, a very good thought-out byte from you.

Vinod, thank you for sharing your more macro take on this topic. And other children/peers are certainly a big influence on an individual child. I'm glad you raised that point.

A very interesting perspective, Vinod. Thank you so much for sharing that!

Thanks Sandi.

I'm reminded of what my daughter's professor of English composition wrote on one of her papers: "Keep on writing, and I'll try not to get in your way."

I just made a similar comment above. I love the comment. Wish someone had said that to me in art class instead of pretty much convincing me I had no artistic talent.

Too many toys do the thinking for the child rather than encouraging them to make their own discoveries. It's up to parents, grandparents, teachers to encourage creativity and discovery rather than try to do their thinking for them.
My kindergarten teacher taught us how to draw a duck. She drew two squares and ran vertical lines from one corner of each to the "body". We were supposed to copy that! Never looked like a duck. I was happy to see a kindergarten teacher who presented her students with chicks, blank paper and colored markers. The result was individual concepts of the chicks by 5 year olds whose creativity was not squashed by somebody trying to make it easy for them.

Excellent examples and well stated, John. Thanks.

I have read several articles recently lamenting children not having the opportunity to just go in the woods and "play." My goodness, we created whole worlds there, played Tarzan, saved universes, staved off lions and tigers and the occasional rogue elephant.

That's one of the values of grandparents, RK. They can remember how to play using a few props and their imagination.

I bow before this wisdom.
The rules of this world is what we teach them not to rule the heart of the world.

As always, well said, Kushal. Thanks.

This is why school as we know it (the prison / factory model) is such a disaster for our children. It denies their abilities and bores their minds into dullness.

do you homeschool, Larry?

My youngest child is a college graduate. I did not home school her I regret to say. (My wife and I both had full time jobs.) At least she had true Montessori for her first four years and that is not prison/factory model.

Home schooling is best if you can do it. Some people are just not suited to home school their kids though. That's why it's so important to change how our schools are organized.

Another aspect to this Byte is the broader issue of how a society facilitates learning. Thanks, Larry.

Following on comments above, many schools get "in the way" of the child's learning big time. I had friends who went to Montessori through high-school. I can guess why that never took real root here an it is a shame.

The public schools are boring the students into stupidity.

I wouldn't tar all public schools and teachers with the same brush but there is a high risk of what Larry says.

It isn't the teachers. Even good teachers struggle given our model of education. Our model "lets the tail wag the dog" so to speak. It treats everyone as if they were working in a prison factory with the teachers as guards and the pupils as inmates. There is almost no freedom. Every pupil is expected to be exactly like every other pupil of the same age. The authority is top down rather than the best teachers having most of the authority. It simply doesn't work. It's the model adopted to produce obedient factory workers in the mines and mills of the 19th century. The wealthy had private tutors and were educated at home through about grade school. The frontier kids were home schooled (Lincoln) and it worked fine for literacy and arithmetic. (I am generalizing here, of course.)

My boys insist on going to public school even though I've tried to get them to get their GED and get started on college like their oldest brother did... but they enjoy the social aspects of school. My youngest is homeschooled... as they all were at her age, except for years in which I had a baby and put the kids in school because I was busy with the new baby.

Larry's right. It isn't the teachers. It's government-run education that's to blame... when you standardize education you are not being fair to those who are not average. It encourages the brilliant to be mediocre and the less-than-brilliant not to aspire. Forcing all teachers to do things the same way, using flawed curriculum... no wonder education is in the toilet. But it's a work in progress. Remember, education for the masses is a relatively new concept in the history of our planet.

If one examines the sports teams at these schools, one will find that there is a lot of education and effort on the part of the students. It's a different model. It works better for education. It is not the best by any means but it is better. For example, the coach is on the same side as the students. Only by their success can the coach succeed.

I guess it's all of those. Clearly the institutional aspect needs to be changed, and there are plenty of mediocre teachers who coast through because they can't be fired and I'd say that standardizing education isn't fair to the average student either because it creates a mythical "student" who doesn't actually exist.

Sports teams are a good analogy and I agree with Lydia, this WIP is relatively new.

All this is not to say that the focus of this Byte is on the parenting and all the school problems in the world don't let us off the hook.

I know first hand that just wanting to be a successful parent isn't enough. I failed with my first two children.

Well...I had been wondering if I should homeschool. I'd say you all are a pretty convincing bunch!

Larry, I'm sure there are things you would do differently (wouldn't we all) but "failed" is a pretty strong word. Give yourself some grace.

Sandi,

No. "Failed" is the right word to use. I let them down. My ignorance of what to do and how to do it is no excuse. I should have prepared better. The fact that other parents knew even less or failed on a larger scale does not excuse me in the least. For some reason I thought that telling them what would happen if they did so and so or explaining to them how things worked would be enough. But no. They had to make all the errors for themselves. They don't make the same error again but they keep finding new errors. Of course now they are adults and responsible for themselves and their own children. But my errors while they were children are my failures.

aww! :)

They are all cute, aren't they?

Nice drawing!

Thanks. Phil was a master.

So far, I'm batting a thousand!

If every parent with that average detailed what they did, someone could compile a hell of a primer for parents, Beaker.

The best thing you can teach a child is how to find out whatever it is they want to know... because once they learn that, the sky's the limit.

Good point, Lydia, that and instilling the fun of learning though, again, maybe it's our job to get out of the way of those little sponges.

Very true John...
I agree, you cannot say public schools are bad - there are good and bad teachers everywhere, in every system.
That said, what we need is teachers who are responsible not only for how they teach but what they teach. And then we need to give parents the freedom to choose the school their child will attend.
That way the schools/teachers who do not do a good job will eventually find themselves out of kids...
And yes, my daughter went to a private school - not Montessori (which is a very good system) but Waldorf - and loved going to school clear through high school...

I agree, Cristina. I think responsibility should be placed as close to the teaching as possible.

Definitely an interesting concept. Well worth thinking on.

Thinking is what Bytes are all about, Sarah. Enjoy.

So true!

Thanks, Holly.

"With great power lies great responsibility."

They seem to have gotten the power part, Chas. The responsibility, not so much.

Finally, someone declared this truth. Thank you, John.

I think most people would agree, Pat. The hard part is remembering it every day.

My parents failed, I suceeded, my children are geniuses.

Are you sure your parents failed?

I'm with Ruth, Lee. If you succeeded with your children them your parents didn't fail.

Oh dear. What a thought. Certainly bites.

That it does, Sheila.

Each chid is a genius in his or her own way. Allowing them the room to find their own specialty is not easy. Some children would prefer not to seek until later in their lives. To encourage without pushing is definitely one of the most difficult parts of being a parent. Unfortunately or maybe it is fortunately I have been through this first hand.
To Beaker: Get busy on that book.

Ruth, I believe Beaker is untrainable — and she'll do OK on her own.

Sorry,John. I'm not buying that one. Is each child born a record pole vaulter? a Michaelangelo? an Edison? a Salk? an M. L. King?I've thought this through way too much to conclude every trait is learned, much is genetic and is not present in every fetus.

Rest easy

Yes Bill. Take it from a father of three. Each is is a genius, just needs nurturing. My kids have exceeded me in everything they were willing to be taught by me.

The eldest now has a masters degree, the second does better than me in computer graphics. She is now an interior decorator and if you go to the banquet hall of Jamaica House, you will see the drapes designed by my second daughter.

My son can now teach me about computer networking.

Nobody wanted to learn computer programming!!!

Now trying with my wife; she's just three subjects away from her batchelors degree.

My answer is a comment that I made in another post earlier today:

I was read to even before I learned how to. It got me hooked (severely hooked) on books. did the same for my kids. The house now has more books than we have space for.

I was taught Latin, Spanish and German in school. Two of my children enrolled for French, so I took a course also and taught myself French. The example of seeing dad pour over vocabulary, grammar, conjugations was real good for them.

Tutored my daughter while she was in college for her batchelor's degree. Even passed on my own research done while she was in class. She graduated with honors. Was her voluntaty assistant tutor for her masters degree (boy that was tough!!!)

Now tuturing my wife for her batchelors degree.

Gotta add this: I was literate before I was 5 years old. My grandfather used to read the cartoons in the newspaper to me from I was two years old. Made me want to read. Also got me thoroughly hooked on cartoons.

Then, it's my fault my kids are dumb? Oh crap!!
Te he, just kidding.
My kids is smart. Lol!

Angela, sometimes kids are smart enough to overcome us parents. :)

I was always amazed how much I learned from my children. We have a pretty symbiotic relationship when it comes to swapping knowledge.

A lot of learning there, Sandre, providing we listen.

Good point. Thanks. It is a 2-way street.

I agree 100% John. Of course there's my corollary to yours: We are all immortal until we have children --they kill us!

You have a point, Vivian. We're always obsessing about our responsibilities —

what about the kids' responsibilities to us? :)

We should teach our children well. :)

Amen, Karen.

Early education begins at the time of conception. Talking, singing, and reading to them are some of the ways they can learn. I have a 2 yr. old grandson, who did not get this before birth, but has been getting this since birth through me. Today he is very intelligent. We do little things like counting the steps on the way up and down the stairs. Singing nursery songs. When he will allow, I read to him. Now he watches on-demand Baby Boost to cement these songs in his memory. When he was an infant, he took his nap to classical music. Now he is like a little sponge absorbing information.

Encouraging the development of our children's natural God-given talents is a joyful and rewarding experience.