Talk About Godzillian-Level Stupid!

The following is all real stuff…..

We actually had a guy in Juliette years ago who couldn’t tell whether or not his lawnmower was running. To alleviate his concern, he stuck one of his feet underneath said mower in order to find out the answer. Sporting one less foot a second or so later, he did.

**********

I was in line at an instant teller machine a few years ago behind a lady who was having a very hard time transacting her business. After about ten minutes of sticking her card in and out of the slot repeatedly and hitting buttons, she looked back at me and said, “I don’t understand why I can’t get money out of this machine.” I then looked over at the screen and it clearly stated, “insufficient funds.” I told the lady that the machine was saying she had no money in her account. Her response, “That’s why I’m here, if I didn’t need money why would I be asking this machine for some?”

**********

Someone here on Gather recently emailed me and stated that I should be giving some of my views and comments to others here who “are less fortunate, not that you deserve anywhere near the level of success you enjoy.”

**********

We had a guy from Atlanta come to Juliette one time in order to hunt deer. He’d never hunted anything before in his life, but there he was with camouflage gear on and a very high powered rifle. A day or so later he was out in a cow pasture and noticed rustling over in some bushes. Without hesitating, he aimed his rifle and fired straight into them. Turned out, another hunter was rummaging around in there looking for a pocketknife he had lost, and the shot from the rifle killed him instantly. When asked why he fired into the bushes, the Atlanta-based hunter said, “I always thought it was everybody for themselves when you hunt.”

**********

My son was recently in line at a Burger King and saw a guy order two Whoppers, a large order of fries, an apple pie, and then ordered a Diet Coke to wash it all down with…

**********

I actually had a woman tell me one time that she let a guy screw her but wouldn’t kiss him. Not once during the entire act, according to her. When I asked why, she said, “I’ll do lots of things with my ass, but I keep my face sacred.”

**********

My daughter works at DFACS. Recently she had a very upset and distraught lady visit her. Alison said that she hadn’t even sat down good in her chair when she loudly starting bemoaning the fact that her benefits had just been cut off. It turns out that the whole issue came down to the fact that the lady’s husband had just gotten a brand new job which made their income well over the limits the state prescribes in order for one to be eligible for assistance. When Alison explained this to the lady, she exclaimed, “It’s not right, that state money was for my house payment, now I can’t make it because of this work money!”

**********

You can look at a lot of politically oriented articles here on Gather and see where the writer jumps all over someone for having an opposing political viewpoint even though they’ve publicly posted the article and asked for feedback....

**********

The other day I got into my truck to go to work. Suddenly, I realized that I didn’t have my keys in my pocket, so I started frantically searching up under the seat, in my glove compartment, etc. Know where my keys ended up being? Right there in the ignition….

Now, I’ll bet my entire collection of Elvis CDs that y’all have some Godzillian-level stupidity examples far better than these…..