Update on our journey to have a baby

I have been avoiding this topic for 4 months but the past 2 weeks have made me realize that everything happens for a reason. 

 Here are the previous articles I have written about our journey to having a baby using a gestational surrogate. 

I have family court tomorrow.

We are starting In-Vitro Fertilization!

Almost done with our In-Vitro cycle.

The Embryo Transfer is in 1 hour!

Our first baby pictures!!

Waiting Waiting Waiting

We just got the phone call...

Bad News

We had a miscarriage on May 26^th, 2009. 

 I received an email from my family attorney asking how the pregnancy was going.  We would be 6 months along.  I hadn’t told her about the miscarriage because I can’t talk about it out loud without being emotional so I just kept putting it off.  I responded to her email, gave her a rundown of the events that had led to the miscarriage and the events that have happened since.  I don’t want to get into every detail but we will not be using the same surrogate as she wasn't doing what she was supposed to, she thought she knew better than the doctor.  In fact, the day of the miscarriage, the doctor told her to go to the hospital, she went to bed.  I know that wouldn't have stopped what was meant to happen, but it still upsets me.  She was my best friend.  I haven't seen her since.

Our attorney responded quickly begging me not to give up.  She sent me a couple of links to surrogate forums where women post classifieds looking for intended parents. I clicked on the first one and looked in our area and there was one ad that caught my eye.  I answered her ad and didn’t expect to hear back from her.  Within 3 hours I had a response.  Her and I corresponded via email for a few days, both of us asking questions and just getting to know one another.  I let her know immediately that I don’t want this to be a business transaction but hopefully a life long friendship. 

Last Saturday we met her and her husband, we went out to dinner.  It looks really positive.  They are great people and we have a lot in common. They are coming over tomorrow meet our kids and some of our friends, we are going to have a BBQ. 

The initial background and insurance checks have been perfect, she is going to do psychological testing and a couple medical tests and if it is all clear we are full steam ahead!  She is really excited and is ready to start.  We have 4 embryo's frozen already so we won't have to start from the beginning again.  That is good news. 

As I look back at this process and how far we have come I realize there were so many signs that our previous surrogate was not the right person to carry our baby, I just didn’t want to see it.