I Never Understood Racism or Why People Judge Others

I remember in the 80's when I had a friend from Guana. Where ever we went with our children there were  people in or area of Texas I lived who gave us the dirtiest looks. Our children were in the same kindergarten. I was so disgusted because people were just so racist. To me people are people and when they are from some where else there is a lot you can learn about places you have never been. Different customs, different foods, different cultures are fascinating. I could never understand why a persons skin color or race makes such a big deal to people.

Although my parents preferred to live in white neighborhoods, I had a science teacher in 6th grade who was black.  My whole class was truly impacted by him in the 60's.  He later became the principal of the school.  He encouraged us to do well in school and become something.  He told us he grew up in the ghetto, his word, not mine.  He joined the army to get out of there.  He worked hard to become a teacher. He was a good teacher and a fine man. He truly touched all our lives.  No one disrespected him and we loved his science class because it was 1965 and all the country was focused on the race to the moon. He explained rockets and how they worked. He expected a lot from us and it was my first experience with grading on a curve. I still admire him for deciding to teach in an all white school. He may have been the only black person many of the children ever met.

There were many tv shows on tv that featured black performers. These shows I think helped people when it came to the racists attitudes they heard growing up. Bill Cosby so handsome in I Spy, Sammy Davis Junior in the "rat" funny and a talented singer, Lena Horne, her singing and elegance, Flip Wilson made me laugh so hard...., and who could forget Sidney Poirtier in all the movies he was in...I'll never forget to Sir With Love, Della Reese what a strong lady who lives her faith,  Stevie Wonder and his wonderful music, Ray Charles, the Supremes, Ella Fitzgerald, and one lady I so loved, Pearl Bailey.... she was something else.

Television brought these talented performers into my world and how anyone could not see how wonderful and talented these people were, were beyond me. When you read up on some of the black people who had great impact on our world or invented things, it really tells as story of the many genius's who contributed to the world in many wonderful advancements like George Washington Carver, Valerie Thomas,  Doctor Frank Crossley Garret Morgan,  Mark Dean, Patricia Bath, Charles Drew, among a few. Our world might not have had the advances it had if it weren't for these people.

My grandmother had a great influence on me when I was young and I saw black people through her eyes. Yes she grew up in an era where everyone was supposed to "know their place", but when she took me in the ladies room that had a lounge in it in a particular department store, the women there were happy to see her and sit and talk with her.  These woman were her friends and it was interesting as they all talked and catched up with each other.  I could tell they respected and cared about my grandmother.  They were black women who were my Grandmother's friends.  Had she treated these women like many people in the 50's and 60's did, I may have grown up with a different attitude.  My Grandmother lit up when they said "Hi, Mrs. Williams" and there were big grins all around when we showed up to sit a while. As a small child I learned that people were people and no one could ever convince me otherwise.

When I went to the Episcopal Camp in the Delaware Water Gap there was another girl there that looked just like me.  Her name was Elizabeth and she lived near Trenton NJ. She was a musician and went to a special school for music.  Honestly, people got us mixed up and we had a lot of fun together.  We did look like twins and we were very much alike, except for one thing....I was white and she was black.

When I worked for the phone company I had some friends that were black. One of these girls and I passed notes back and forth.  When there we no calls to answer it would get boring.  She taught me a lot, because when we got caught and we were both threatened with being fired, I was scared. She stood up to them and told me I should have too, although it was against the rules, it was done when things were slow.  Many of the other operators were older white woman. One day we decided to shake things up a bit.  We staged an argument and walked around the lounge/lunchroom yelling terrible awful racist things at each other. We put on a big show. You should have seen the looks on these women's faces.  They were all aghast, but we both knew from they way my friend was treated by them  and her feeling like an outcast that maybe what we did would shake them up a little.  We were young and left the building together howling with laughter at the looks on their faces. We then went off to have lunch together. I don't remember why we decided to do this, but our friendship was never closer.

When we were selling our home in 1986 a hospital administrator looked at our home and was interested.  When I spoke to my neighbor and friend Horace about it, he explained things to me, I did not know.  This hospital administrator was a very beautiful woman and I was sure she could afford much better than our neighborhood. Horace gently explained to me that there were just some neighborhoods that she couldn't live in.  Our neighborhood had a majority of black people, then there were many Yugoslavian people new to America, and lastly were the various white people. The neighborhoods that I imagined would me more in her economic range, were not likely to sell to her because she was black.

I was shocked. I stupidly thought New York was different from Texas. Horace taught me so much about how life really was for black people because he knew first hand.  In his childhood he lived with his Grandmother in an all black area....but when he grew up and went joined the navy, he learned how it was outside the town he grew up, full of many racist people who only saw his skin color

I knew in the South there were bad attitudes because of what happened with my friend and me when we were out in public.  They way it was explained to me was that in the South white people are honest about their attitudes towards other races, but in the North people "pretend" not to be racist but they hide their real feelings.

So many people seem to have a bad experience and decide to condemn a whole race, in any group. They also condemn people with different life styles.  The assumptions on all different groups are so wrong, so cruel and misguided.

People who chose to do bad things are in all groups, all colors, all professions. People who do good things are in all groups, all colors and all professions.

Why can't we stop with racism and judgment and the cruelty that it creates? Why can't we see our sameness....the same hearts, blood, and body and celebrate our differences....like the different foods we eat, and the different customs we have.

We really separate and isolate ourselves when we don't give people a chance to be our friends in life because they don't "fit" our criteria. Disabled people, heavy people, thin people and people born with challenges can be great people to know.  They can be great friends and maybe more of a friend than you would expect.  The "beautiful" people somethings are hung up on their "beauty" and sadly like the rest of us they age and their "beauty" may not be as lasting as they hoped, as wrinkles and other effects of aging takes it toll.  Some people are busy trying to accumulate all they can in life, like there is a contest and accruing all they can and trust me, they will let you know at each level how much more they have than you.

One man had a son with downs syndrome.  So many see these people as lesser beings with no value in life.  This one man had a heart attack. His son called 911 to get his father the help he needed. If he hadn't got immediate help, he would have died. So as much as people may think people born with disorders or who aren't "perfect' should be kept out of sight, or sent away as many did with their children who "weren't quite right" when I was growing up....this man was well rewarded for raising and loving his "not so perfect" son.  The love of the son for the father, saved his life. He may not be seen of many people as much, but in my eyes he is a hero!

What I feel is important in life and is important to God is our hearts. A friend with a good heart is a treasure in deed.  For they accept you as you are, and for who you are and despite all your struggles and challenges (we all have them even if they are hidden) they love you and stick with you through thick or thin. This is the gold in life...to be loved and to love and to see beyond into a persons heart.  You will pass up many opportunities to have some good friends if you decide that the people in your life must meet a criteria.

We all have our differences but we are all of value. We all have a story and sometimes when you take the time to hear the story you will find that your initial impression of a person may be much different that you expected.

So next time you meet someone, try and not  judge a book by it's cover or judge a person by the way they look or by the lifestyle they have chosen or their "imperfections", you may find a real gift from God in their friendship.

(Please do not get upset with me for not using the term African American. I grew up in an era where I heard terms other than Black. Some people prefer African American, so for those people I offer my apologies, I mean no disrespect or offense. I'm not sure what is politically correct currently and some of the black people I have know or I am related to are not from Africa.)