It all started when B was just a few months old and I was still breastfeeding. He would grab onto my hair with his tiny little hand and twirl it. I thought it was the cutest thing in the world and he only did it with me. As a working mom who got so little time with my little man, anything that made me feel like mommy was special, was welcome.
Fast forward two and a half years though to a fight I had with my husband just the other night that went something like this…
“You’re not his mother, you’re his doll! I am so sick of this. Don’t you find this hair thing the least bit creepy?”
And the truth is, I suppose I do. A little. My son, without a doubt, has a full on hair fetish. He touches my hair before bed while we read. He asks for it in the middle of the night if he wakes up (“mamma, you bring your hair here please.”). He comes running for my hair when he’s feeling shy in public. And every morning he enjoys a sippy cup of milk and touches my hair while we watch an episode of Curious George (“It’s daytime mamma. I need George, milk and hair.”)
I have tried half-heartedly to break him of the mommy hair habit. I bought a girl teddy with a head of blond hair (hair bear). I bought a wig and sewed it onto one of his ugly dolls (hairy monster). As a last ditch effort, I cut a lock of my own hair and sewed it onto his monkey blanket (hairy monkey). None of it worked. And frankly, most of it would have probably seemed even creepier to the general public (especially hairy monkey).
What I found though is that the mommy hair fetish is not just about hair, it’s about mommy. And back to the beginning of this tale, it is really nice to feel special. Even if it’s only for my hair.
I know I am taking a risk here and could be making a major parenting faux pas. I might be fostering a lifelong hair creep. I have visions of him bringing home some woman who has hair cascading down past her butt and telling me she’s the one. Or worse, of him getting arrested in the mall for touching strange woman’s hair or me someday snooping for drugs in his room and finding some weird wig collection.
If any of you have a kid with a potential creepy habit or better yet, one that naturally grew out of one, please weigh in with a comment. I’d love to hear your thoughts on whether I’m doing the right thing here. I honestly don’t know…
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Comments: 38
They grow out of it!
They grow out of it is exactly what I wanted to hear! I will have to write a post on breastfeeding one of these days. People really do get very freaked out by it for some reason. My friends are always debating about when you "should" stop. It is definitely a controversial topic and mommies seem to be the most judgmental of all. Very strange.
I remember thinking about how hard it would be to break my daughter when the time came (it came when it became to painful for me because of being pregnant). I am not the best with transitions but it ended up being quite a smooth one!
People think that babies should grow up and become independent too soon.
I don't have an answer for you, only time will tell. I do have long hair and if my hsband, then boyfriend wanted to continually touch my hair; I would've dropped him like a hot potato.
It's probably something he'll grow out of. You could always talk to a doctor or child therapist about it.
(Maybe too traumatic)
I love the story you told me once about your son freaking out when you got out the shower with wet hair. B does the exact same thing. So nice to know other moms have the same issues.
You are confirming my greatest fear...that this could become truly creepy older boy behavior. I might need to rethink things if we get to 4 or 5 and this is still happening. I'd like to think he wouldn't creep on some unsuspecting hair but you never know.
I'm guessing the hair twirling thing is just an association with you and comfort. He may be a lifelong hair twirler but I can sure think of weirder habits.
My daughter use to do this too but she started twirling her own and forgot about min...lol
I have to share a quick tale: I was on a date and we'd driven for hours and hours, I was so tired I laid my head on his lap and fell asleep while he was driving. I woke up later, went to run my fingers through my hair and went.. wtf? Apparently while I'd been sleeping he had been twirling my hair over and over and over - I woke up with a HUGE knot on the side of my head, part of it had to be ripped out!
Hmmm was his mother to blame!?!?! LOL
In my opinion, too many kids now days don't get the affection like they should. I would say to let him play with your hair and teach him boundaries and everything will be just fine. My kids don't try rubbing on any one else but me and occasionally when they're curled up by their grandma. I just see it as they're way of showing love
Forget what your friends have to advise you and focus on advice from medical personals.I wish you the best in your growth life with your children, big up to there daddy and entire family, kasujja,uganda wishes them good candling life and all families on gather and out side gather,care for your children there are your poles when you get old.