Been There Way To Long

Wearing in the back of my mind
like a hat I can’t take off
A choking sort of feeling
a constant hacking cough.

Its been there way too long
no matter what I try to do.
Can’t seem to clear my throat
that scratching feeling is you.

My diving crash was fatal
you proceeded to bury the soul.
And as I searched for the culprit
it was you playing a devil role.

You might not be a math scholar
nor an English major for sure
but you excel at deceiving
and lying tops the score.

Like an infestation of bees
the stinging covers me over.
Feeling like I’m draped
in poisoned spreading clover.

My breathing gets short
Its a struggle to let in air.
The hacking and whooping
just so hard to bare.

You are an infestation
a painful immune system killer.
A poison yet not identified
trumping emotions, your thriller.

I can’t shift blame on you
I saw every pitfall at the start
but held at bay common sense
while you trounced over my heart.

Seemed worthy, your essence
in how you thrilled like no other.
When pleasure became thorn laden
I remained in your cloak to smother.

Nothing in my background
prepared me for this sham.
I only knew how to be me 
now wondering who I am.

You took and took with ease
I gave all I had in me to give
Rescuing you became an obsession
trying  to help you to live.

The mire got much too thick
holding me deep in the mud
while you flitted bout your way
I became encrusted in your crud.

Being foreign to my senses
had no idea of what was up.
You came and went at your leisure
but making sure to fill your cup.

Day after day things changed
I couldn’t decipher what was true.
Matters not the explanation
the lies got larger and even grew.

You seemed lost in a darkness
with no light at all to turn to.
All the poison you had gathered
made the infestation... you.

Showing not one basic concern
in how you treated my emotion
you went on with lies and deception
spreading it like venomous potion.

Now that I am more enlightened
I’m going to make a positive improvement.
Right now it is in process and I’m waiting
to have one hellava bowel movement.

Del Cano  2007 June