by Peter Joseph Swanson
Member since:
April 13, 2007

A few tips on how to do "art"

September 18, 2009 02:45 PM EDT
views: 49 | comments: 24

Take a photo of something at an unsuspecting area of it.

Turn it into black and white.

Turn it upside-down.

Make sure you call it "art" - and stick to your story no matter what.

Give it a name that uses a few religious words.

If it involves nudity and it's a paid hooker striking a heroic pose then it's "classical art".

If the nudity is of you then it's self indulgent and you might do well to pair it up with a poem.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SNIPPED STEMS REACHING FOR HEAVEN

http://media-files.gather.com/images/d783/d957/d745/d224/d96/f3/full.jpg

 

 

 

 
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Comments: 24

Barb (Gather Site Ferret) Carlson Sep 18, 2009, 2:47pm EDT
What the heck IS that??? Great idea ...
Peter Joseph Swanson Sep 18, 2009, 2:48pm EDT
It's the flower stems at the bottom of the clear vase. Upside-down.

ha ha
I figured it out from the title!
Barb (Gather Site Ferret) Carlson Sep 18, 2009, 6:33pm EDT
You're obviously a lot smarter than I am! LOL!
Peter Joseph Swanson Sep 18, 2009, 2:47pm EDT
Ooops - I forgot: WRITE YOUR NAME REAL BIG OVER IT.

he he
Ashley M. Sep 18, 2009, 3:52pm EDT
A really big copyright symbol would also give it that little something extra. ;)
Angel sent from God Secret Sisters Sep 18, 2009, 2:50pm EDT
lmao
You got me speechless.... lmao good :D
Johnice R. Sep 18, 2009, 3:10pm EDT
Brilliant!
Vivian P. Sep 18, 2009, 3:20pm EDT
you are a genesis
very interesting... hmmmmm
The last one hit my creative pose~I'm game~ =D
Happy New Year Nuggets Sep 18, 2009, 4:23pm EDT
omg, it's ART ! LOL
Happy New Year Nuggets Sep 18, 2009, 4:24pm EDT
you know, I was in Ikea, and that's all they had was black and white photography, some of it, not as cool as your stems! ;) hehe
Holly C. Sep 18, 2009, 4:32pm EDT
Bravo!
Angela A. Sep 18, 2009, 4:36pm EDT
Oooh, now that's art!
You so talented.
Te he!
Dawn (purple fly on the wall) Sep 18, 2009, 5:11pm EDT
I love this! I'll try it
I think Mapplethorpe was quite good at the method you describe, Peter.

Actually, Black Book needs no explanation. It's like all classical. Woo woo.
Sandy (Site Psychic™) Knauer Sep 18, 2009, 6:32pm EDT
Peter, you are my best friend today. You inspired me!
Kimberly Ripley Sep 18, 2009, 10:01pm EDT
Based on your philosophy, there may yet be hope for me as an artist!!
Cena W. Sep 18, 2009, 10:30pm EDT
Soo are you going to put this up for auction?

William Dotani Sep 19, 2009, 1:32am EDT
Well..., where is the classical art photo?
Lori Cee Sep 19, 2009, 7:19am EDT
you're brilliant! but i suspect you already knew that.
Ed Da Head Toker Sep 19, 2009, 12:09pm EDT
I don't know what show I was watching, but some guy was taking a house paint brush, to a black background, and making a mess of everything. It was ugly.
Jackson Pollack made something that looked like someone vomited, and they called that art.
Kathleen ♥ L. Sep 19, 2009, 3:05pm EDT
*sigh* Once again I am clueless.

What drama hath wrought this dubious work of art, Peter?

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