A Bitter Moon

A Bitter Moon

Juliet: O, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon,

That monthly changes in her circled orb…..

Inconstant? So you never noticed how

I watched you dancing in your gown of blue

Without the guile to turn my face from you?

Am I not fit to underwrite a vow?

You spin. You sparkle like an amethyst

While I keep station, captured by your spell,

Loyal, yes, but pallid and predictable.

Were I to leave how long would I be missed?

Some nights I see you look my way and sigh….

I tell myself you feel attraction too,

That you reciprocate my love for you.

Deluded, I believe my hopeless lie.

I am outshone yet would not break the bond

That holds at bay the emptiness beyond.

Comments: 27

Patti M. Sep 13, 2009, 6:09pm EDT

This piece will hit home with many people. It is so hard to feel that way about someone. Either not know how they feel or know they don't fee the same way.

reply to this comment

Marilyn is looking for whatever there is. N. Sep 13, 2009, 6:31pm EDT

Hi Mike,

I agree with Patti, but I think that we'll all be able to relate to this, if not now, at some other time in our lives.
Featured in Poets, New and Old,

thanks,

Marilyn

reply to this comment

Sandi S. Sep 13, 2009, 6:50pm EDT

"dancing in your gown of blue"

Lovely, poetry in motion!

reply to this comment

John Philipp Sep 13, 2009, 6:57pm EDT

EXcellent, Mike.

I love the last two lines.

Thanks.

Granny Janny H. Sep 14, 2009, 5:02pm EDT

I also am thrilled by those last lines and they define the poem for me.

reply to this comment

Beth G. Sep 13, 2009, 7:11pm EDT

oh how wonderful this poem is Mike. Very nice.

reply to this comment

Sandre M. Sep 13, 2009, 8:19pm EDT

Mike, I loved your use of the same metre and feel as the original line.

reply to this comment

Michelle L. Sep 13, 2009, 8:38pm EDT

I especially enjoyed the first 6 lines.

reply to this comment

Angela A. Sep 13, 2009, 11:03pm EDT

I love it. So very beautiful!
Thanks for posting to my group, Anythingwriting

reply to this comment

Joanne Vicente Sep 14, 2009, 12:52am EDT

It's beautiful! Thank you for sharing.

reply to this comment

Kathy W. Sep 14, 2009, 7:57am EDT

Once again, Mike, a beaut piece of work!
Unrequited love, fickle woman, and the steadiness of affection.
All flowing from a strong base.
Lovely.
Wilka

reply to this comment

Deb S. Sep 14, 2009, 8:23am EDT

Excellent poem

reply to this comment

Ann M. (Site Scryer) Sep 14, 2009, 10:56am EDT

I love the ambiguity you've written in to this-- is the object the moon or a lover, or both?

Thank you for posting to The Surreal Circus.

Granny Janny H. Sep 14, 2009, 5:00pm EDT

I echo this response like the reflection of the moon on the calm sea or the
goddess that sometimes looks at me when looking in the mirror
but
Something tells me this is all about the moon and what it means to look on high at something near yet far beyond

reply to this comment

Mike Ellwood Sep 14, 2009, 3:58pm EDT

Thanks for all the positive comments. They are appreciated.

reply to this comment

Granny Janny H. Sep 14, 2009, 5:02pm EDT

Featured on Poet's Weekly Muse.

Mike Ellwood Sep 15, 2009, 11:54am EDT

Thanks, Jan. I have just revised the seventh line.

reply to this comment

Sheila Deeth Sep 16, 2009, 6:10pm EDT

I like this; the constant moon, the deep blue night, the lonely emptiness - very powerful images.

Mike Ellwood Nov 25, 2009, 10:48am EST

Thanks, Sheila. I must admit, I like this poem very much.

reply to this comment

Lewis (keeping those fires burning) K. Sep 20, 2009, 5:50pm EDT

Can be taken as literally -the moon's viewpoint... or metaphorically, as the sighing of unrequited longing... either way it's a great piece.

Mike Ellwood Nov 25, 2009, 10:49am EST

You read it with insight, Lewis. Thanks.

reply to this comment

Granny Janny H. Nov 22, 2009, 12:11pm EST

How I'd miss the moon if it were not there
So many times I've scanned its face
And captured it with fervent stare
Each phase keeps time with seasons pace
Oh moon I do sincerely care

Mike Ellwood Nov 25, 2009, 10:50am EST

I'm sure the feeling's mutual, Jan.

reply to this comment

James Ciriaco Nov 22, 2009, 12:20pm EST

Wow, excellent work in a demanding form! I'll look for your offerings in the future, Mike.

Mike Ellwood Nov 25, 2009, 10:52am EST

Thanks, James. All my posts are poems. I have a few pages of them here on Gather. I'd be flattered if you checked a few out.

reply to this comment

R. Ellen M. Nov 24, 2009, 6:15pm EST

Without the guile to turn my face from you?" Wow...what a plea!

The last two lines are tragic and amazing. Fitting in reference to the quote by Juliet! Your tone, style, pace and subject fits perfectly with her words.

Mike Ellwood Nov 25, 2009, 10:53am EST

Thanks. It's always important to finish a sonnet with a flourish, and this one worked as well as I could have hoped.

reply to this comment

Comments: 27

Join the Conversation

You might also like

More by Mike Ellwood