The Dirge

Upon a rock amid a stream

She sat down, a lass serene;

The wind toned down, the birds fell silent,

The woods waited, their voices quiet.

Her hair rippled and flowed like fire,

As she sang sweetly of desire;

Her voice was razors, slicing deep,

So that the sky began to weep.

Her song was thunder in the rain,

As words of sorrow she then sang;

Her fingers bled upon her lyre,

And swiftly set the world on fire.

Then at the last sung note of triumph,

The sky sagged in relief of silence;

And as the distant fires died,

The sun shined on a girl who cried.

Bard Constantine

Sept. 2009

Comments: 46

Purrrrrrrrrrr~Genki dashite~Nantoka naru-yo! S. Sep 12, 2009, 12:28pm EDT

ahhhhhh~a diving inside bringing up a teardrop spin~exquisite~

Bard Constantine Sep 12, 2009, 6:47pm EDT

~and reborn are embers from the fire within~ thank you...

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Purrrrrrrrrrr~Genki dashite~Nantoka naru-yo! S. Sep 12, 2009, 12:28pm EDT

Thanks for posting to GutterGirls~

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Ann M. (Site Scryer) Sep 12, 2009, 12:32pm EDT

What a great job you've done of expressing emotions using the elements. This has a bit of the feel of a Celtic folksong.

Are you familiar with the tale of the young woman who turns into a swan and dies? Her bones are then made into a harp which sings her life story.

Thank you for posting to The Surreal Circus. You are now featured.

Bard Constantine Sep 12, 2009, 6:50pm EDT

Thank you for the link, Ann. I enjoyed the story greatly. I appreciate your thoughts...

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Rachel W. Sep 12, 2009, 12:36pm EDT

Very nicely written

Bard Constantine Sep 12, 2009, 6:51pm EDT

Thank you, Rachel...

Rachel W. Sep 12, 2009, 9:05pm EDT

You're welcome, Bard

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Franklin Newman Sep 12, 2009, 12:38pm EDT

That was wonderful.

Bard Constantine Sep 12, 2009, 6:51pm EDT

Thanks, Franklin...

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Sandi S. Sep 12, 2009, 1:04pm EDT

"Her hair rippled and flowed like fire,

As she sang sweetly of desire;

Her voice was razors, slicing deep,

So that the sky began to weep."

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... this got to me. Incredible. I absolutely love your description of her hair like fire. Her voice, razors... the sky weeps. Fabulous similes ... exquisite use of language and imagery.

Bard Constantine Sep 12, 2009, 6:51pm EDT

Thank you so much, Sandi. I'm honored that you enjoyed this....

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Sandre M. Sep 12, 2009, 1:11pm EDT

I agree with Ann; this reminded me a lot of Welsh poets and poetry. Really well done.

Bard Constantine Sep 12, 2009, 6:53pm EDT

Thank you, Sandre. I don't know much about Welsh poetics, (other than the fabulous works of Lloyd Alexander as a child) but I'm glad that you enjoyed this...

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Jennifer Lee Sep 12, 2009, 2:48pm EDT

Stunning! Congratulations on your feature! I noted the shackles in the artwork.

Bard Constantine Sep 12, 2009, 6:53pm EDT

Thank you, Jennifer. Did you notice the skulls in the water?

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Kelly Kay Sep 12, 2009, 3:27pm EDT

This was fierce I like it very much!

Bard Constantine Sep 12, 2009, 6:54pm EDT

Thank you, Kelly!

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Richard B. Sep 12, 2009, 8:13pm EDT

ahhh young love, thanks

Bard Constantine Sep 13, 2009, 3:44pm EDT

Thank you.

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Beth G. Sep 12, 2009, 11:38pm EDT

oh this was such strong poetry. I greatly enjoyed this Bard!

Bard Constantine Sep 13, 2009, 3:45pm EDT

Thanks, Beth...

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Carrie Marie P. Sep 12, 2009, 11:48pm EDT

the accent in my head as I read this leaned a bit Irish and Welsh; this is poem reminds me of those writers of yesteryear.
Powerful and colorful.
BRAVO

Bard Constantine Sep 13, 2009, 3:46pm EDT

I find that interesting. Makes me want to examine Welsh poetry, now...

Thank you, Carrie...

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Kushal Poddar Sep 13, 2009, 8:53am EDT

The description has the same accent and your poem is more intense.

smell of memories

Bard Constantine Sep 13, 2009, 3:46pm EDT

Thanks much, Poddar....

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Sharon P. Sep 13, 2009, 12:12pm EDT

Lovely and stunning.

Bard Constantine Sep 13, 2009, 3:46pm EDT

Thank you, Sharon...

Sharon P. Sep 13, 2009, 4:51pm EDT

Your very welcome.

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Joseph Breunig Sep 13, 2009, 2:15pm EDT

A lovely and beautiful poem; great imagery and use of vocabulary; nothing dreary here in your writing style; wonderful piece! --Joe

Bard Constantine Sep 13, 2009, 3:47pm EDT

Thanks for your compliments, Joseph...

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Marilyn is looking for whatever there is. N. Sep 13, 2009, 5:54pm EDT

Exceptional (even after three rereads), the Muse was never gone, it's right here with you allways - when the time is right, out comes something that's definitely one of the best you've done. The Muse was merely thinking of how to write this - look, it's wonderful. Classic you, one of my favorite writers.

Featured in Poets, New and Old,

Thanks, Bard,

Both for the ping and for posting it here,

Marilyn