Black Friday, an Edited Re-post

You would think that, having overeaten on Thanksgiving (as I intend to do,) people would be a little less energetic, or at least a little more calm, than they are on the day known to all of us as Black Friday.

I have heard a slew of different explanations from my co-workers as to why the day is called that, but they all boil down to the fact that the day after Thanksgiving, during the Thanksgiving Day sales, we are treated worse by shoppers than on any other day, including the ever-hectic day before Christmas.

On black Friday, people seem to lose all sense of proportion, pushing and shoving, grabbing and yelling over sales items they often wouldn't even have sought out had they been full price. The worst behavior is usually over electronics and kids' toys. This kind of behavior among shoppers is nothing new. Remember the Cabbage Patch Doll craze of the early eighties? There were beatings among patrons as stores rapidly ran out of dolls for their shoppers. How about the chaos over Tickle-Me-Elmo? My hubby was still living in Findlay, Ohio at the time... there was a stabbing at one local retail store, not over the last Elmo in the store... just the last one on the shelf. A clerk had even stated that he was going to bring more out of their storeroom... but apparently that wasn't good enough for the lady who stabbed a fellow customer to get the one she had.
Though I've never personally seen anything that bad at work, I have experienced some pretty nasty outbursts on the part of impatient shoppers. It seems to get worse every year. In the '90s, I worked at an electronics store in a strip mall, where we had specials on Christmas merchandise, especially on certain RC Cars, I remember one customer having a fit because the bigger, more complex RC car he wanted wasn't the one on special, and the manager couldn't transfer the huge discount to that car. Another guy threw a fit because we didn't have a "public" restroom. We ended up having to admit to him that we didn't have a restroom at all... if we needed to go, we went to the K-mart down the walk. Despite the tiny size of our store and the fact that most other stores in the strip mall didn't have restrooms, either, the guy so badly wanted there to be a restroom that he decided that my boss was lying to him. That is the day that I learned (from his conversation with my boss) that a man threatening to "whip it out" and pee on the carpet could legally be considered a sexual assault.
Later, working in a very small (staff of 3 with a part-time bookkeeper) specialty store that didn't have big Thanksgiving day sales, I learned that the general public thinks of these huge discounts as some kind of an entitlement. People who otherwise never came into our store actually expected the small retailer without back-stock (much less, "excess inventory") to sell his wares at half (or less) of his cost for no other reason than because it was the day after Thanksgiving. Eventually, the owner began selecting one or two slow-moving items and slapping a small one-day discount on them so that he could advertise that in hopes that people would see the ad and stop coming into the store with ridiculous expectations. It kinda worked, but we still got a few nutjobs expecting massive discounts on thousand dollar (and up) pieces of professional equipment. Certainly... we'll get right on that. After all, retailers are made of money, right?
Working in convenience over the last few years, I've watched as people mistreated not only my co-workers and me, but also each other, over things as small and insignificant as a cup of coffee, a hot dog, or even napkins. Yes, sir, that's right... those are the last napkins in the whole world. I don't have a whole cupboard full of napkins with which to re-stock the holder, or anything... better make sure no one else gets them before you do!
One of the saddest and funniest examples of the ridiculous attitude that crops up that day had to be what happened last year, when we got to listen to people who could  clearly see that our little store only had two registers, both of which were open and had lines, complaining that "someone should open another register." ...and where, pray tell, do you think we're keeping it? Is there a proctologist in the house? I need to open another register!
Maybe they think the manager is hiding one in our magical, mythical "back room" where they think we keep extras of everything. Yes, we have a Back Room of Holding. We got it on loan from the Dungeon Master. We have everything back there, from whatever is missing from the shelf, to merchandise we've never carried, to extra people and even a big machine that makes ice, and when we tell you we can't fulfill customer requests for these things, we're lying. Yeah, a lot of what I've seen happen in retail, especially in convenience retail, ended up inspiring some of my other writings... Ways to Show Employees in a Convenience Store That You Are an Idiot and the more expanded More Ways To Let Retail Workers Know That You Are An Idiot.

SHEESH!

My request is this: In the chaos of that Big Bargain Safari Hunt (and on the way there,) when you are psychotic over the idea that someone else might beat you to that on-sale toaster, the first cup out of the coffee pot, or the closest parking space in the lot, etc. ... please keep a few things in mind.
Remember that the person behind the counter, the person making your coffee, the person cooking your sandwich, checking your price, finding that item "in the back room" (or who has been stuck with the chore of telling you the store is out of what you wanted,) waiting your table, shooting your last-minute Christmas card photos, or even just cleaning up after the mess shoppers leave in our stores, is an actual human being with real, measurable feelings, who does not deserve to have your holiday frustrations taken out on him/her. He or she has been hurried, harried, and hassled just as much as you have, (if not more because he/she is dealing with a mad rush of customers and probably won't get a break on Black Friday.)
Remember that it is Black Friday, and there will be big crowds, heavy traffic, and long lines in stores. This is the biggest shopping day of the year... bigger, even, than the day before Christmas.
Remember that conditions at retail and food service outlets you want to patronize today will be different than on other, more ordinary shopping days.
There will be more shoppers looking for more stuff and bigger bargains than any other day. While they are out saving money on every item they can, people will stop for gas, get coffee, breakfast, lunch, snacks, etc. on the run, and maybe even go out for dinner because they didn't have time to cook at home.
There will be items out of stock because the demand for them is higher than the supply the store was able to obtain, or because demand is often unpredictable, and the need for a large supply was not anticipated.
Food that has to be prepared after you order it will still take time to cook, even if you are in a hurry, and if someone else ordered before you, their food will get prepared first.
Demand at fast food places for pre-prepared or frequently prepared food, such as fries, may be too high for the workers and their equipment to stay ahead of it, causing a wait time and resulting in the customer receiving fresh, but very hot food.
Gas will have a price on it. It might be higher or lower today than it was yesterday, but either way, no one in the store where you buy it had anything to do with the decision to set the price at that amount. We just work there.
Even with all registers open, the increase in numbers of shoppers will mean an increase in the length of checkout lines. People with more stuff will still take more time to check out than people with only a few items. The express lane will still be reserved for people with fewer items, and it will still be considered rude to try to check out a big cart full of stuff in that lane, but someone probably will anyway. Different stores will have different policies on this, all designed to provide the best possible customer service while maintaining the safety of their employees. This may mean that the cashier will be instructed to not confront rule-breakers. Giving her a hard time about that won't change the policy.
Stores which have "ID everyone" policies during the rest of the year will still have them on Black Friday. Giving the cashier a hard time over the policy won't change it. At some stores, violating that policy can get a cashier fired, even if she does it because a customer bullied her into it. 
On this day, people who have never used the "self check-out" at department stores will try it because it looks like it might be faster. Some of them will screw it up and need help from the one person the store has monitoring the whole set of self check-out lanes. Chances are, this will happen with more than one lane at a time.
Sudden, drastic increases or changes in inventory due to the influx of Christmas merchandise will mean that some things won't be entered correctly into the store's electronic bar code reading system and therefore won't ring up right. This is also not the cashier's fault... nor is it the fault of the customer, or the employee at the customer service desk.
This is a bad day to try to return items to stores, regardless of the reason why you're bringing it back. The customer service desk will be overwhelmed with people who have complaints or questions regarding inventory, supply, policy, and personnel. There will be a long line full of other customers whose emotional states will range from amused and antagonistic to impatient and even hostile. Join this line at your own risk.

Remember that, regardless of time constraints and your shopping goals, there are some things you cannot change because the individuals serving you are still human, the machines we use can't be put on fast forward or made to do their job differently, and the buildings that house our businesses won't change size or shape.
Cash registers don't adapt... coffee brewers have one speed... grills, fryers, and ovens cook at the same rate every day... credit card readers still have to go through the phone lines and won't magically change whether or not your bank approves charges. If the magnetic strip on your card is in crappy shape and won't read on other days, it also won't read on Black Friday.
Stores and restaurants won't get bigger to accommodate increased shopping traffic, develop more shelves or tables or check-out lanes, or grow their own warehouses in which to keep extras of all our merchandise. Smaller stores will still have shorter supplies.
Yelling will not speed up the lines, brew the coffee faster, find the item you are looking for, or change the price. It won't speed up the oven or grill, change corporate policy on checking IDs for alcohol, produce an out-of-stock item out of thin air, or alter the store's size or inventory. It won't un-make your mistakes (please make sure you know which gas pump you're using before telling the cashier when you pre-pay!), clear the restroom of other patrons, or change the store's open/closed hours. Neither will telling the other customers around your victim how lazy and stupid you think he/she is, describing how things are at some other business in another location during normal business days, or abusing other customers because you think you're in more of a hurry, have a better reason for needing our products or services, or in any other way are more important or valuable than they are. Complaining to store managers or calling stores' corporate customer service lines won't change these things, either... doing so will simply give the caller/complainer one more person to abuse on Black Friday.

My request is that on Black Friday, wherever you go, please remember to treat the staff and other patrons as human beings. Even better, please remind at least one other person you know to do the same. Let patience be the word of the day. After all, this IS the season of cheer, hope, joy, and love. Patience should fit into that set perfectly!
Thanks very much, have a good day, and please come back soon! ^_^