THE LEMON BASKET: THE BEST & WORST OF THE WEB
#541 SEPTEMBER 18, 2009
Copyright 2009 FRANCIS DIMENNO
http://dimenno.gather.com
francisdimenno@yahoo.com
THE DIGNITY OF LABOR
"Alone in the hissing laboratory of his wishes, Mr Pugh minces among bad vats and jeroboams, tiptoes through spinneys of murdering herbs, agony dancing in his crucibles, and mixes especially for Mrs Pugh a venomous porridge unknown to toxicologists which will scald and viper through her until her ears fall off like figs, her toes grow big and black as balloons, and steam comes screaming out of her navel." --Dylan Thomas, Under MilkWood.
THE SEVEN DISTINCT GRADES OF POETRY
"There's only one natural death, and even that's Bedcide."--Edward Dorn
Under the Federal Poetry Products Inspection Act, The Federal Poetry Inspection Agency (FPIA) inspects all poetry published in interstate and foreign commerce, including imported products. The Agency monitors poetry products after they reach print.
The FPIS also designates seven distinct grades of poetry.
Prime grade is produced from old, well-practiced poets of known accomplishment. It has abundant imagery and is marbled with philosophic insight and is generally published in both popular paperback editions and by reputable academic presses which provide scholarly annotations and variorum texts. Prime poetry is considered excellent for adaptation into other media (painting; graphic arts; references in literary works and films).
Choice grade is high quality poetry, but is often more idiosyncratic than Prime. Choice poems are often adjudged "difficult" or "complex," and some poetry lovers profess to actually prefer them to Prime. These grades are nearly always the product of small university presses whose parent institutions offer the MFA degree.
Select grade is very uniform in quality and normally less verbose and ponderous than the higher grades. It is fairly easy to understand, but, because it has far less genuine philosophic content, it may lack some of the resonance and quotability of the higher grades. University Press chapbooks are one source of select grade.You will sometimes find poems of this grade reproduced on posters with appropriate imagery, e.g., a dive with an olive branch or a beautiful sunset.
Standard grade is frequently produced by poets of tender years whose verbal extravagances frequently serve to conceal a serious lack of gravitas. University press chapbooks and small, quasi-vanity presses are a frequent source for standard grade product.
Commercial grade poetry is frequently produced by pretentious songwriters, occasional poets, and scholarly amateurs. Very few people other than serious acolytes profess any interest in these frequently self-published "vanity" projects. You might also find commercial grade poetry in the pages of college literary and limited-run "little" magazines.
Utility grade poems are often written by authors of popular fictional works, superannuated actors, wives of eminent men, and former politicians. These verse collections are frequently found in the remainder bins of stores which do not specialize in books.
Cutter grade poetry is seldom, if ever, sold at retail but is used instead to make filler for newspaper columns, particularly advice columns in which the reader wishes to share "a lovely poem" with the interlocutor. It seldom, if ever scans, and offers up only the most banal of sentiments. It is very difficullt to differentiate from bad prose.
Canner grade poetry is execrable verse, which, in the vast majority of cases, is self-published, either by a vanity press, or, far more frequently, in the obituary and in memoriam columns of newspapers. High school literay magazines often publish a not inconsiderable amount of this grade.
The requirements in the "Doggerel Reduction; Hazard Analysis and Critical Control Point (HACCP) Systems" final rule are designed to minimize the likelihood of harmful doggerel being published as poetry products. However, some doggerel could be present and might become a problem if poetry is not published judiciously. To assist versifiers, the FPIA requires that versification guidelines be published on all chapbooks and other not fully refined works of poetry.
1*SALUTATION KINKS
THIS TIME TOMORROW
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONd4qSs5B5k
Les Amants Reguliers Video (2005)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgeglxSJJa8&feature=related
ALSO SEE:
BRAINWASHED
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUtw5lNoTr0
GOD'S CHILDREN
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSciUplVZrA&feature=related
THIS MAN HE WEEPS TONIGHT
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJI7LTEmUtU&NR=1
GOT TO BE FREE (VARIANT)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvwD5Z0hPrQ&feature=related
2*REFERENCE
NAGA SADHUS
(GRAPHIC CONTENT)
http://www.smh.com.au/ftimages/2004/04/22/1082616259779.html
3*HUMOR
LSD-A CASE STUDY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPgpYux8HJQ
4*NOVELTY
A MAN'S PROUDEST POSSESSION
http://www.esnarf.com/2213.jpg
5*AVATAR OF THE ZEITGEIST
THE CULT OF ERIN ESURANCE: Speaking of Creepy Animated Totems
ANIMATION TEMPLATE
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_t9pl9Dh5gGQ/SYPkeX5ZgYI/AAAAAAAAA9k/yKfClhtj39A/s400/_kErin1.png
Eight words: Matt Baker and Kyle Baker, pere et fils.
http://www.lambiek.net/artists/b/baker_matt/baker_matt2.jpg
http://lambiek.net/artists/b/baker_matt.htm
Seems to me the original Esurance artist drew heavily from Kyle Baker.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_sr-EBSk3zig/SGQ-6oNbcHI/AAAAAAAAAk0/hg0cAl4Ur60/s400/xs.jpg
http://kbcartoonweek.blogspot.com/
ALSO COMPARE:
http://fridays.toonzone.net/talkbacks/winxclub.gif
6* DAILY UTILITY
RELIGIOUS AFFILIATION OF COMIC CHARACTERS
http://www.adherents.com/lit/comics/comic_book_religion.html
7*CARTOON
THE FALSE FACE SOCIETY
http://media.photobucket.com/image/%252522BATMAN%20152%252522/silvernatchios/Batman152_1962.jpg
http://www.coverbrowser.com/image/batman/152-8.jpg
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_zDxkLCohXSo/SG2E-72qJZI/AAAAAAAAA3k/4DYtBNbAK7g/s400/Batman+152.jpg
http://nowdownloadall.com/index.asp?PID=a8f92c47-4315-4da2-81e2-d5e5b48291f3&q=%22Batman+152.cbr%22+31163834+%5BFullVersion%5D
8*PRESCRIPTION
PSYCHEDELIC MOVIE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1UXPINRvsQ&feature=related
9*RUMOR PATROL
Kenneth Hagin & Kenneth Copeland
Pentecostal Bedlam
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SgByE0pX1M
1O*LAGNIAPPE
Rolling Stones Satanic Sessions TEX Picks Mix
http://www.sendspace.com/file/4w6qd2
11*DEVIATIONS FROM THE PREPARED TEXT: A REVIEW OF OTHER MEDIA
AFTER 85
Like some vicarious life
When Autumn bids good-night;
A springtime recollection:
Illimitable light.
As infinite as selection,
As lonely as decay,
Tomorrow is invisible:
Today today today.
445. CONTROVERSIES IN POPULAR CULTURE
ARCHIE MARRIES VERONICA: THE BACKLASH
"[H]e should marry Jughead, I think."
http://archie-blogs.archiecomics.com/archie_news/2009/05/this-august-prepare-yourself-for.html
"Archie was the bitch and Jughead was the butch. That's why Jughead wears that crown-looking hat all the time. He the king of queen Archie's world." --"Chasing Amy"
ALSO SEE: http://goodcomics.comicbookresources.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/a600.600.jpg
http://archie-blogs.archiecomics.com/archie_news/2009/05/this-august-prepare-yourself-for.html
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