I’ve been thinking about themes lately -- the themes of our lives, the themes of our stories, the themes that permeate our relationships. (Technically, relationships fall under the category of the themes of our lives, but I like to do thing in threes, and I couldn’t think of a third theme category.)
Someone asked me recently if I ever considered writing the story of my life, and I just laughed. There is no story in my life, nothing noteworthy ever happened to me, and I never did anything that millions of others didn’t also do. Still, the question niggled, and a couple of days later I saw the theme: I often put aside my dream to help someone else achieve theirs. Now that would make a good “three bears story.” The first time perhaps my namesake gave too little when she tried to help someone, and the other person didn’t achieve his or her dream either. The second time she might have given too much and he got his dream but she didn’t. The third time she gets it right, and everyone wins. In real life I haven’t yet gotten it right, but I’m working on it.
I also read a comment that “nothing changes if nothing changes,” which sounds like a good theme for a book. Perhaps an older woman is whining that nothing ever changes in her life, and someone tells her that nothing changes if nothing changes, so she decides to make a simple change -- perhaps henna her hair or buy a dress that is out of character or go to a museum. And from that simple change comes a ripple of changes, so at the end, she ends up totally different.
Another comment was “intimacy is so hard and manipulation is so easy,” which kept my mind occupied for days on end. How much of intimacy is manipulation? If someone tells you they love you, is it manipulation, or is it intimacy? Depends on why they are saying it, I suppose. Intimacy vs. manipulation would be a fun theme to explore in a novel.
Something else I read: “Every crisis creates a new normal.” Every time something happens to a person or a character, he must readjust his thinking to accept the new normal. How far out of the normal does he have to go before he becomes a saint or a monster? The original comment had to do with accepting the crises of age, but as a theme, it can mean any sort of crisis.
So, what are the themes of your stories, the themes of your lives, the themes you’ve written, the themes you’d like to write? How was your writing week? Did you accomplish what you wanted? Did you make any interesting discoveries? Did you have fun or was it a chore?
Let’s talk.
The group No Whine, Just Champagne will meet here at this article for a live discussion about writing on Thursday, September 10, 2009 at 9:00pm ET. I hope you will stop by. It’s always great to find out what you’re doing.
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Comments: 66
Now thinking about it in regards to my writing, my MCs are almost all in search of themselves, even when they don't realize it at first.
Great topic. Hope to be here tomorrow night.
I smiled when I saw "niggled". I hadn't run across that word any time recently.
There’s no story in your life??
You’ve never cried? You’ve never shouted?
You’ve never said goodbye? You’ve never fallen in love?
You’ve never learned a thing from any experience you’ve ever had?
Which brings me to your comment about manipulation vs intimacy. They’re kind of polar opposites. Manipulation IS easy. Think about the word. It means moving things with your hands. You learn to do that before you can talk. Intimacy? It’s a much different thing. It’s not about moving or changing things. It’s more about letting things go. Opening yourself up, and letting the world in. Definitely would be a good theme for a novel.
My response: Doesn’t story involve more than crying, shouting, loving, winning, losing, learning? Doesn’t there need to be an element of something more that just the conflicts of daily living? Shouldn’t there be a moment when one is bigger than life? Doesn’t story need themes, heroes, villains?
According to Story, by Robert McKee, the spine of the story is the deep desire in and the effort by the protagonist to restore the balance of life. Hmmm. I seem to have lost the gist of my argument here. Maybe there is a story in my life. Maybe even several of them. I guess the point is, are they worth telling?
Adjusting to the new normal often requires re-inventing or transformation of self. This happens in our lives (certainly in mine) and also is a common theme in my writing and in many of the novels that I like.
(I know you directed this to Deborah, but I threw in my two cents worth.) LOL
Hi, Nancy! Glad you stopped by. It really is good seeing you on a regular basis again.
I think nearly every real person--and every character--must struggle to discover who he is. Whether he faces limitations or expectations from others or merely his own fears, his path is often determined before he even knows he's on a path. Then he realizes that he's not headed where he wants to go or not doing what he wants to do or he's not who he wants to be--who he really is inside--and so must figure out who he is.
When we, as writers, discover this freedom of self for ourselves, it makes such a strong impression on us that we write it into every story. Thus stories are more than plot, they are discoveries of self for the lead characters. This discovery comes out in hundreds of forms, but it is discovery nonetheless.
Here's another question -- how much of self-discovery is also self-creation? That would be an interesting themes to explore. Someone who sets out to find herself actually ends up creating herself in the process.
I understand that conflict is a major element of story telling, but doesn't the conflict have to mean something more than simply conflict for conflict's sake? A character could have a conflict with a salesclerk, which would show his or her character, but unless it's part of a more serious problem -- for example, an inability to ever admit being wrong about anything -- then it's simply trivial. And triviality doesn't make a story worth reading. Unless the author is very, very good.
Here in support of my friend and her fortitude with NWJC!
So I've been happily bringing myself up from the age of about 8 or so. I've reached the happy age of 21 when I married Bill. ;o) I am finding that there's a lot of us out there. And some of my MC's are among those.
From the first romance novel I read, I was hooked.
When the first story popped in my head, it was romance.
And, the rest is history.
The first themes were strangers who met, couldn't stand each other, then got to know each other well, then, of course fell in love.
Then, after trying to find friends to lovers stories, I found that the stories I read were not all that satisfying.
So, I thought to myself, gee, I could write better than that.
I could think of a better story, I would like.
Something that shows how much these friends care for each other, and how they progress from, I care about to you, to wow, I feel attracted to you.
And, so it began that I leaned more toward writing friends to lovers stories.
It's become my theme. My passion.