Measurements --a haibun and repost for Saturday...

Comments: 29

Granny Janny H. Sep 8, 2009, 1:48am EDT

Essential measure of life...breath
Heft is comparable but not essential to ...breath

What a poignant story. And an excellent example of negative space.

Atticus *. Sep 8, 2009, 1:50am EDT

Yes indeed, an excellent reading of the challenge.

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Atticus *. Sep 8, 2009, 1:48am EDT

Susan, that is quite a powerful piece. I was just thinking about the Haibun form and here you post such a gripping example. Thank you so much for submitting this in response to my prompt.

Susan Budig Sep 8, 2009, 2:09am EDT

Atti, it was a dickens of a prompt. I felt completely out-of-my-league after reading your first column. "Yikers, but why in the world do they have doofuses like *me* writing for WE when they have people like Atticus!"

But I took it in stride and didn't let my insecurities get the best of me. Then when clever Jan posted her negative space piece, I felt empowered to do the same.

Atticus *. Sep 8, 2009, 2:24am EDT

You are a silly woman Susan. You have no idea how much you have helped me.

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Marilyn is looking for whatever there is. N. Sep 8, 2009, 3:35am EDT

Susan?
You had doubts? Here I am, not even knowing what a halibun "is" and I felt this right through my soul. Wow.

Marilyn

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d d. Sep 8, 2009, 7:25am EDT

Being a newbie to writing, I had to google halibun form. I still may need a lesson on the form, but I found your piece, vivid and powerful.

Susan Budig Sep 8, 2009, 10:18am EDT

Here's a link to one of my favorite poetry-explained sites. It also contains a sizzling haibun.

d d. Sep 8, 2009, 1:14pm EDT

thank you. I will take a look when I free time later today.

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Ann M. (Site Scryer) Sep 8, 2009, 8:40am EDT

I've always loved this poem, Susan. I'm glad you reposted it for the challenge, because I hadn't considered it in terms of positive and negative space.

The pair of obsidian rocks really sets the mood, causing me to ponder all that is unknown in the inequalities of life and death. Thank you for posting to The Surreal Circus. You are now featured.

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Madame Butterfly ~~ mary ann d ~~ Sep 8, 2009, 3:06pm EDT

This is beautiful writing.

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Barbary Chaapel Sep 9, 2009, 8:36pm EDT

I especially felt the power of your poem this week, Susan. It is beautifully crafted.

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Sheila Deeth Sep 10, 2009, 1:55am EDT

Wow. A wonderful breathtaking poem.

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Thomas W. Sep 16, 2009, 3:11pm EDT

oh, that last line.

you put me in the mind of Amy Tan.

Susan Budig Sep 17, 2009, 12:42am EDT

Thank you. The poem is built from that last line, which sprung up in me and insisted on recognition.

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Sandi S. Sep 24, 2009, 1:30pm EDT

Intriguing... an epic in a page. So much is said in this. With broad strokes you paint in the finest detail.

But what does it mean that you held your breath longer?

Susan Budig Sep 27, 2009, 2:57am EDT

Hey Sandi. Thanks for reading. I can't really answer that question for you. It'd be like a magician telling his or her secrets, if that makes sense.

What does that mean to you?

I know one thing, I am still breathing so it's a good thing I've held onto it.

Sandi S. Sep 27, 2009, 7:31am EDT

to me it means you survived

but with that survival comes responsibiity

Susan Budig Sep 27, 2009, 3:15pm EDT

Yes, I think so, too. I have a responsibility to my sister to honor her name and memory.

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Diana Raabe Oct 13, 2009, 2:35pm EDT

Great!

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Adrian Eve Revenaugh Oct 17, 2009, 12:37pm EDT

I'm glad to have found this this morning.
Your words wrap layers of commitment to those I've chosen to honor with passion, though I also grow lean on occasion, from the effort. Quite hungry enough to know my own skeleton through the process.

Thanks for the beautiful sustenance and craft!

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C.F. Stewart Oct 18, 2009, 2:36am EDT

Quite magical in its construct. Intelligent writing and my kind of stuff. Splendid use of negative space, Susan.

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James H. Oct 24, 2009, 8:40pm EDT

Intriguing...delightful...true!

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Stacey (Jesus is coming soon! ) U. Nov 17, 2009, 10:50am EST

What is a Haibun?

Susan Budig Nov 18, 2009, 1:22am EST

Hi Stacey, I'll bet you'll like it once you find out. :-)

A haibun is a blend of prose and haiku. Check out this link. You'll find all the details you need plus it has a sizzling haibun for an example.

Susan Budig Nov 18, 2009, 1:24am EST

I should also add that my poem above isn't, in the strictest sense, a haibun because my short, poetic lines aren't haiku, but I didn't want to change what I wrote so I won't quibble if someone challenges me about calling this poem a haibun.

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