Musings from an Empty Nest

Well, it happened, and we all survived! The nest is officially *empty* and I have to admit, I'm starting to enjoy it!

Two days ago we dropped off our *baby* at his new home away from home - UConn. It was very hard to believe the big day had actually arrived, but he was ready to move on to this next exciting phase of life. We got to the dorm at around noon on Friday, signed him in, parked and unpacked the car, and helped him set up his room. It didn't take very long to bring in all his gear since boys don't seem to bring as much baggage as girls do. Just a few shorts/tees/jeans and he was happy. No need for a whole new designer wardrobe, like his sister insisted upon! We met his roommate, who was setting up his side of the room with his parents and little sister. They all seemed very nice and excited to be sending their oldest child to college.

We stayed a while to help him make his bed, and set up his laptop and television. After that, we could tell that he was anxious for us to leave so he could meet his HS friends and attend some of the weekend's events. We kissed goodbye, I felt that lump in my throat, so I turned away quickly, and we were on our way.

We stopped on the way home at Stew Leonards, a great dairy/bakery/grocery store that is about halfway away from our home. it was very strange to be in this store, and no longer need to load up the cart with food. We bought a few salad items, and some prepared meals for two, sampling all the featured foods as we walked through the maze-like store.

The house felt empty when we returned, despite the baseball gloves and hats, and videogame controllers that were still strewn around the family room. I did get things straightened up and put away over the weekend, but it still feels like he's just out with his friends and will come home, as usual, at 11.

He's been texting us to let us know what he's been up to, what activities he's going to, who he's hanging out with. And a call here and there when he remembers something he forgot to bring. So far, so good. The true test will start tomorrow, when he goes to his first class at 8am!

As for us, I think we'll be OK too. It's a bit of a rough transition to such a quiet house, but we've been keeping busy with gardening, laundry, reading uninterrupted, dinner out, a movie, and golf for my hubby today. The next chapter of life begins!

Comments: 19

Tory H. Aug 30, 2009, 10:16pm UTC

The quiet must be nice, even though I'm sure it's quite a change! :) Glad to hear that it went smoothly, though!

Karen A. Aug 30, 2009, 10:24pm UTC

Thanks, Tory. The quiet is nice right now, though at first it was quite disconcerting! I still do miss my boy!

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Kushal Poddar Aug 30, 2009, 10:17pm UTC

It seems quite a nice place.

personal myths

Karen A. Aug 30, 2009, 10:25pm UTC

The dorm room is rather small, Kushal, but it's light and cheery. And on the first floor, so we didn't have to drag all of his stuff up flights of stairs!

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Marsha C. Aug 30, 2009, 10:23pm UTC

I only have one left at home, who will be 13 soon.....
I hate to see her growing up

Karen A. Aug 30, 2009, 10:27pm UTC

Once they hit their teens, the time just flies by. I can't believe my baby is all grown up either! My two older kids are 25 and 23, so when my youngest was born, it was like starting all over again.

Marsha C. Aug 30, 2009, 10:28pm UTC

mine are 12, 18, 23 and 26
none are far from home though :)

Karen A. Aug 30, 2009, 10:39pm UTC

Two of mine are a little over an hour away. My oldest son just moved closer to home from Boston last week, so it's nice having him 10 mins away again!

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Risa G. Aug 30, 2009, 10:30pm UTC

I think you'll be ok. I won't be going through this for another 5 years but I remember when I went to college and left my parents. My mom would complain how the house seemed too empty. I am sure you'll get used to it though.

I remember when my parents left me at school. I was 17 and so excited to be away from my parents. I am sure you're son will do well. Glad he is texting you so you don't worry about him. Those cell phones are so helpful.

Karen A. Aug 30, 2009, 10:38pm UTC

Yes, cellphones are great, Risa! I lived at home and commuted to college, so I'm not sure how it was "back then" but my husband said he'd speak to his parents once a week when he was at school. Nowadays, it's constant contact, for better or worse!

My older son and daughter used to call me when they were between classes. I hope my son does this too. He's the kind of kid that would fill me in on the day's activities right when he got home from school (even as a HS senior!) so I'm hoping that continues. Of course, I don't need to know *everything* he's up to!

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Trish T. Aug 30, 2009, 11:03pm UTC

Karen I am sure you guys will be ok. Cooking for two is a chore to figure out. what I do since I am from a large family and still haven't mastered cooking for 2 is I make the food like I normally do and freeze the rest in single serve containers. my own frozen "tv dinners" and send them to work with my husband for his lunch. We have a very long way to go before our nest is empty since our first child is due in November. and I dread the day when he leaves home. I have waited so long for this to come my way and I don't want to see it go any time soon.

Karen A. Aug 31, 2009, 7:46pm UTC

Congrats to you Trish! Enjoy every moment when your baby arrives in November! Freezing the leftovers sounds like a good idea. I'm sure we'll be doing plenty of that too.

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Karen R. Aug 31, 2009, 12:20am UTC

Your post brings back lots of memories. My son graduated from college a few years ago. I remember how strange it was at first to not have him around and to no longer fix meals for 3 people. I didn't have much problem with the empty nest. It does have some advantages :) I always hated the whole moving in process since it tends to be 105 to 110 this time of year in Arizona and hauling all of his stuff across the parking lot and around the buildings in that heat was not fun. My biggest concern with him was how he would handle living with a roommate since he was an only child and never had to share his space before. He did fine with the rooomates over the years.

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Karen R. Aug 31, 2009, 12:22am UTC

It is great that he stays in contact with you. I did get my son to sort of stay in contact thru email, but as the years went by the emails got farther apart.

Karen A. Aug 31, 2009, 7:48pm UTC

I doubt that I'll get many emails or even calls from my son. I think most of our communication will be done via text. Today he texted me to say he needed a new calculator. He went to school with 2, but apparently they are too advanced for his calculus class and will do half of the work he needs to do himself. So, a non-graphing calculator is what he needs. I told him to pick it up in the bookstore!

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MaryAnne Flynn Aug 31, 2009, 11:06am UTC

Good luck and have fun with this next phase of your life, Karen! My husband & I have enjoyed the last few years as empty nesters. We can be more spontaneous about plans, going out and learning new things with our extra time. Our college grad just moved home until she saves up some money for an apt of her own.

Karen A. Aug 31, 2009, 7:51pm UTC

Thanks for your kind words, MaryAnne! I'm sure we will also enjoy being empty nesters, once we get over the initial sadness.

It's funny how you go through the empty nest phase, and then the kids come back home again, albeit temporarily. Our daughter graduated from UVM in 2008 and lived at home for 6 months until she found a job and moved to NYC. I love having her visit for the weekend now!

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Krystal Harwell Sep 6, 2009, 12:45am UTC

good luckies :D

Karen A. Sep 8, 2009, 5:45pm UTC

Thanks, Krystal!

My son must be happy. I haven't heard from him in a few days!

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Musings from an Empty Nest

Comments: 19

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