by Digger Burrows, Live Birth and Provenance Correspondent
At a press conference in Huron, OH Aleatoric Party Spokescat the Original Morris unveiled a certified copy of Gus the cat's birth certificate. The document was shown to the media sealed in an argon filled bell jar.
Morris said, "This should clear up any questions of Gus's birth. He was definitely born."
When asked about Gus's eligibility for service as Gather Spokescat Morris said, "Gus is clearly the best qualified animal. In a spirit of openness and trans-species cooperation we have placed his birth certificate on display. We understand there have been rumors of his having been born in Kenya or perhaps created in a laboratory. We hope this unimpeachable document can settle this controversy quickly."
Morris responded to questions about Gus having clawed the cushions on lawn furniture and dug up newly planted annuals with "Gus is a normal cat. He is in many ways an average cat. He is superior to the average feline in his unique talents as a spokescat."
Quite a few audience members, estimated at 19.6 from analysis of satellite imagery, carried signs. GNN analysts believe that the count was 17 in favor of Gus and 12 opposed. Some audience members carried more than one sign. At least two carried signs supporting and opposing Gus's candidacy. Slogans included "Gus is great," "Gus is a fake," "No GusCare," and "Hes' a Mooslem."
In response to questions from the Gather community, here is a copy of Gus's birth certificate complete with raised seal.