The Suicide of our Son; The Day Our Lives Changed Forever

I will be joining with thousands of people nationwide this fall to walk in AFSP's 2009
Out of the Darkness Community Walk to benefit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.  I will be walking at Crissy Field in San Francisco on September 26, 2009.  I would appreciate any support that you give me for this worthwhile cause.

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is at the forefront of research, education and prevention initiatives designed to reduce loss of life from suicide. With more than 32,000 lives lost each year in the U.S. and over one million worldwide, the importance of AFSP's mission has never been greater, nor our work more urgent.

I hope you will consider supporting my participation in this event. Any contribution will help the work of AFSP, and all donations are 100% tax deductible.

Donating online is safe and easy! To make an online donation please use this link 

http://afsp.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.participant&eventID=856&participantID=53855

If you would rather donate by check please make the check out to AFSP and mail it in with the offline donation form.

Thank you for considering this request for your support. If you have any questions about the Out of the Darkness Community Walks or AFSP do not hesitate to contact me or visit  www.afsp.org 

This Poem was written by my husband Ralph shortly after Dustin's death.

DUSTIN

When is a Son more than just a Son?

When he is your only Son, A Son who's closer than a brother!

For that matter, he was closer to me than anyone.

A good friend can be like a well paved road.

A good Son, only Son and a close Son is more like a street paved of purest Gold.

Dustin was a son that laughed at my jokes, who did his best to read what I wrote.

And encouraged me to do even more!

By Ralph E. Parks

August 30, 2003

We have set up a Memorial Garden for Dustin in our yard.  This cross was originally up at "Dustin's Spot" in the mountains where he died.

 Suicide Facts

• Every 17 minutes another life is lost to suicide.

• Males complete suicide at a rate 4 times that of females.

• Females attempt suicide 3 times more often than males.

• Each day there are approximately 11 youth suicides (15-24 years old).

• There are an estimated 25 attempted suicides for every one death by suicide. It is estimated that over 5 million Americans have attempted suicide.

• Elderly adults have rates of suicide close to 50% higher than that of the nation as a whole.

Center for Disease Control (CDC): CDC Suicide Fact Sheet
American Association of Suicidology: AAS Suicide Fact Sheets


Warning Signs of Suicide

• Threats of or talk of suicide and death

• Previous suicide attempt(s)

• Family history of suicide

• Depression - changes in eating/sleeping patterns

• Loss of interest in favorite things

• Recent accidents or "close calls"

• Behavioral changes

• "Good-bye" talk & giving away possessions

• Sudden cheerfulness, as though a solution is in sight

• No hope for the future ~ believing that things will never get better

(This is not a complete list of warning signs but does include common signs.)

What to do If Someone You Know is Suicidal

• Talk about suicide. Ask: "How bad is it? Are you thinking of killing yourself?" Asking someone if they are feeling suicidal will not give them the idea. In fact, asking someone if they are feeling suicidal might actually bring them some relief knowing that others are aware of how they are feeling and the severity of the problem. Be direct and be willing to talk about suicide.

• If the answer is "yes," ask: "Have you thought about how you would do it? Have you decided when you will do it? Do you have the means?"

• Listen! Talking about what the person is feeling may help release some of the pressure.

• Don't judge!

• Take it seriously.

• Prevent isolation.

• Recognize your own limitation. You can't make it "all better" or take their pain away.

• Help connect with existing resources.

• Make a contract. Try to make a verbal agreement with the person to contact you before he or she follows through with suicidal intentions.

• Don't keep the secret. Please contact 1-800-SUICIDE if you are or someone you know is feeling suicidal. Or contact a local suicide prevention/crisis intervention hotline, school counselor, a mental health agency, a family physician, therapist, or religious leader.

For more information, visit American Association of Suicidology

IF YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT SUICIDE PLEASE GET HELP!!!!!!

Dustin's Spot" in the Mountains at the place where he died.  Unfortunately we had to move the cross down to our yard because it "bothered" some people.  It was broken down twice, before we finally moved it.  There is nothing left up there now but memories.

PICKING UP THE PIECES Trudy Parks has a photo album. A few pages of baby pictures, a couple of more recent photos from a trip to Great America, intermingled with cards, poems and letters. "This is what Dustin looks like ... looked like," Parks says. Aug. 27, 2008 will mark the end of the 5th year she's spent without her son, who killed himself on that date in 2003 in the back of his blue Dodge Dakota quadcab on the road that leads to Henry Coe State Park. Trudy Parks wants you to see the article from The Dispatch, (Please click on the address below to read the complete interview I did with the local newspaper about Dustin's suicide a year after he died)

http://www.gilroydispatch.com/lifestyles/contentview.asp?c=125850

This poem deeply touched me and I would like to share it.

If I Knew


If I knew it would be the last time
that I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew this would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute or two
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I would be there to share your day,
well, I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything right.

There will always be another day
to say our "I love you's",
and certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do's?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
and today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if tomorrow, why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day
that you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss,
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
whisper in their ear,
tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear.

Take time to say "I'm sorry", "please forgive me",
"thank you" or "it's okay".
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

Copyright © George Michael Grossman