The Broke Down Ballad of Britney ~ A Book Review of ‘Pop Tart’ by Kira Coplin and Julianne Kaye

Don’t let the names Brooke Parker or Jesse Emerson throw you off; this book is about Britney Spears and Justine Timberlake with a few elements of The Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus thrown in.  I suppose I shouldn’t have been thrown off by this book because it delivers on everything the cover and the corresponding back blurbs promise.  In fact I was torn between this book and a history book about how China almost conquered Renaissance Europe.  I bought the history book and my friend bought this one – so in the end I sort of feel I out booked her even if I have yet to read my nonfiction purchase. 

                Perhaps I have grown weary of the Spears/Parker saga now that she has completed a world tour and Farrah Fawcett is dead and Michael Jackson may or may not have been laid to rest.  A few years ago, February 2007 to be exact, I was mesmerized by Spears after her emotional state was so raw that she actually shaved off her golden, albeit weaved, locks.  I had to write something up because I knew by the next day everything could be different then, as these things tend to go, everyday brought some appalling info from the house of Spears and I soon was yawning after each new exploit.  Celebrity exploits, as in real life, are only interesting when there is some variation…no one likes to hang around crazy for too long if the only thing crazy offers is more crazy. 

Although I think it is a great achievement on Spear’s part to actually accomplish a new CD and national and world tour I do wonder what will happen once Britney’s guardianship under her father is receded by the court.  Maybe the reason I didn’t overly like ‘Pop Tart’ wasn’t because it told the story of Spears, but because it didn’t really delve into issues that make Spears/Parker so unstable, namely a diagnosis of bipolar personality.  I know, I know, what was I expecting from a ‘novel’ with the name ‘Pop Tart?’

I suppose it may be a compliment on Kira Coplin’s and Julianne Kaye’s part that the book was written in such a manner that I was half expecting some sort of acknowledgement of a personality disorder that one could look up in the DMS – IV in terms of what was fueling Brooke Parker’s out of control behavior besides fame, fortune, an oppressive manager, drugs and alcohol, and a dog of the week (apparently puppies aren’t as adorable when they pee, poo, and sneeze due to being…well puppies) thus they are given their walking papers before they can even learn to pee on them. 

The book is told from the perspective of Jackie O’Reilly who doesn’t know what she wants to be when she grows up so she tries a little bit of everything including acting, music, and dabbling as makeup artist.  She has dropped out of college to pursue her dreams of…she doesn’t know yet, but is fairly certain that when she sees it she will know it.  Apparently she was the perpetual B girl in high school (if one was grading popularity in terms of A through F) although that description makes her sound peppier than she appears in the novel – which may have been part of the problem for me.  Her parents are Hollywood insiders but in terms of being voice teacher and personal wardrobe consultant, thus they are well off but not out of this world well off.  Of course Jackie went to school with the Paris Hilton character, but didn’t hang out with her, but once she is the makeup artist and personal friend to Brooke that all changes.  And no, there were not any makeup tips given in the book although Julianne Kaye is herself a makeup artist (both Coplin and Kaye appear to be Hollywood insiders – or at least that is according to their bios).

Since summer is starting to wind down I was wanting a much more fun inspired read from a book called ‘Pop Tart’ but then when it showed some teeth I was hoping that it would be meatier.  Go figure.

Westerfield © 2009