I never expected To miss you this much The sound of your voice The feel of your touch Always there, somewhere Then came the day That you are nowhere You aren't simply away.
It is a journey, this grieving thing, isn't it? Nothing linear but rather a dancing away from the pain and then back toward the loss. You've expressed the ache, the finality of absence, with such poignancy.
I've always thought of the grieving process as more like the tide - waves wash in over the shore and then recede for awhile, only to be repeated again in a cyclical process. Over time the quality of the ache does change, more comfort is found in all that we hold of the missing person inside ourselves and their absence does start to bring less pain.
For me the wave description is a good fit. Sometimes I'll see a TV commercial that Mom especially liked, or something from my childhood will flash through my mind and it makes me miss her so much. It's a silly example, but yesterday I was brushing my teeth and it came to me how when I was very small, Mom would brush my teeth by chasing "Mr. Decay" around my mouth with the brush. Hadn't thought of that in 45 years.
The pain of that loss does linger but it eases, Vicky. After my dad died someone tried to console me by saying, "Time is a wonderful healer except that it kills you in the end." It didn't console me but it did make me laugh.
I'm grieving very differently than I did for my Dad. This time I go for days at a time without getting in a funk or crying, then all of a sudden something will hit me.
I'm so sorry, and I would guess this feeling will never leave. It truly just means that she was a wonderful mom, and the fact you miss her so much is such a compliment to her. I wish I could make it hurt less.
I agree! This is so beautiful and touching. It makes me appreciate the wonderful parents I have around with me now. Have a wonderful day and God bless.
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