Sexy Question of the Day

heck NO !
my old fart is as romantic as a dead frog

Well then, I'm going to have to write a post on how to get him to be more intimate then won't I??

hahahaha Vivian!!!

finding intimacy would be nice too...lol

Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't.

Getting some sometimes is better than none at all right?

lol Esther absolutely!

im single right now

Get yourself a man Katharyne! You're too beautiful to spend your nights and days alone.

Lots and lots when we are together.

Great stuff Adam!

things are so hectic right now i appreciate the tiniest of gestures. his breath on my neck when he hugs me, him hitting my ass when i pass by, etc....

I know exactly what you mean hon. That's the way it is for us these days. It seems that I am still sleeping when he leaves and am ready to crash when he gets home so unless it's his weekend off, then we don't really see each other too much anymore.

I'm grateful though as he could still be layed off. Thank God he is gainfully employed once more.

The love of my life died many many years ago. He was irreplaceable. When part of you dies you adjust.

Oh I'm so sorry Lee. I'm sure it's not an easy thing to do.

Intimacy??? Hmmmm, need a dictionary, be right back.

lol =D

Aww Lesli. Too bad. I think that the general consensus between most women would be that we are lacking in intimacy. A lot of men have sex mixed up with intimacy and we must show them or teach them what it is that we need.

Hey DAWN!!

alas, no.

Poor kitty kat! We must find you a man!

Not lately, been to busy.

With all of that emotion of yours honey, we got to get you some intimacy!

some times yes sometimes no. It depends what kind of mood i am in after the brats go to bed. I have been having issues with the kids so that is sometimes the furthest (sp) thing from my mind

Oh. Oh. Too bad that you are having issues with your children. Your mate should help you with that so that you don't seem like the bad guy in the couple. Then perhaps you will not be so tense and perhaps be in need of some intimacy.

Good luck!

We're very close, but we don't get to spend as much time together as we'd like, so I guess the answer is yes and no.

Aww girlfriend. I hope that ya'll will be able to spend more time together in the near future.

Thanks, Honey. It'll work out the way that it's supposed to, whether it's the way I want it to or not. Hugs!

Good thing hon.

Hugs and love to you!

not lately. My signifacant other is out of the country right now. But I know what you mean about the hug and kiss. Sometimes it is all we have time for and sometimes its a signal that we need to make time for intimacy. I am usually not that subtle. I am a self confessed "Booby Brusher".

Ahh, my dear Harper. When is the old A coming back? I hope soon for your sake. We don't want to leave you alone for too long...

You're right about the hug and the kiss hi or bye being sometimes the signal letting us know how much we really need to make more time for each other,

I like the self confessed "Booby Brusher." I guess I should start doing that myself. It's not as if I don't have enough to do it with...

If I had 44D's I would use them all the time. :)

I have 40 DD's honey...care to borrow them?

HA!!! No breast men in this house ~ 'booby brushing' is a total waste of time here. I'm a 40DD.

Okay, if I had 40 DD's I would use them. I am so jealous of both of you. Yes, borrowing sounds good to me.

Well I do get a kiss goodnight before he heads up to bed. Does that count?

No Linda a kiss goodnight before he heads up to bed is NOT intimacy.

I am doomed then. Seriously with my grandson and daughter living here we are either too tired, too aggravated or dealing with no privacy.

Dadgumit if that isn't a sad shame! Get your daughter and grandson to go out sometimes so that you and honey can get some private time alone without any interruptions.

I am either flooded with intimacy or have none. Depends on the day.

Now isn't that about the truth? It happens that way too and goes in spurts of months at a time for us...

no!
he works crazy hours...and even when the next day is his day off he's too tired for much...usually still going to bed way before I do.
Drives me crazy that I don't get a kiss when he gets home from work...barely get a peck when he is leaving for work and most of the time I have to tell him I want one.
Something I would like to work on for sure.

Take the reins and tell him what it is that you desire. I think he might just be pleased as punch if you initiated that after work kiss or bedtime kiss or morning kiss or hug or whatever. There isn't a thing wrong with being the initiator.

I just recently told him he has been neglecting to give me a kiss when he arrives home from work....

Well naughty, naughty for him. Tell him it starts with a morning kiss, goodbye kiss, hello kiss, thank you for dinner hug and kiss, bedtime kiss, and so on and so forth. Tell him you will except nothing less. ;p

Or maybe he is hoping you will make a move to kiss him first? It works both ways.

That's what I mean Bryan. If women aren't happy with what they are getting, then I think that they should perhaps take the lead and or guide or show or even teach him/or significant other what it is that makes their toes curl.

It does work both ways...

since i'm single and rarely date i'd say no

We got to get you dating and get you a man pretty lady.

i'm all for that! I turn 40 soon, it would be nice to have someone...

none for me...

What's this I hear? None? How can this be??

no intimacy in this house....... none.....zip....nada......

What's going on in that house of yours Solskin??

Are you getting enough intimacy?

Heck no. That is the part I tell hubby he really needs to improve on.

Initiate and teach or guide Minipin. If you're not getting what you want, what better way to let your significant other know but to show him or guide him. There is nothing wrong with taking the lead or discussing with him what it is that makes you happy in this regard.

I have tried and nothing works with him. If he is not in the mood, If I even try to come near him for anything I get told not to touch him.

He says he wants me to take lead at times. But when I do, he does not let me.

Considering I am single, no.

Oh goodness. When I was single I still found ways to get intimate with my boyfriends. It is only natural to do so as a grown woman.

I hope that you find that elusive man of your dreams.

Hmmm....what does that mean?? :o) It has been so long since I had a man in my life I couldn't tell you! I have stayed single for my 10 year old daughter because the abusive relationship I had with her father gave me the reasons to divorce him..I have not trust only one man for a brief period of 4 mos. and then...learned the same about him...I am content and single at this time...even if it does get pretty lonesome!

Oh my Deb. Ten years is an awful long time to be without intimacy. Too long I'm afraid. I do believe that when you are finally ready you will find that it was indeed too long of a respite from something so pleasurable.

I hope that in time you will be able to find that lucky fella and settle down and enjoy some much needed intimacy.

Esther, very interesting post and even more interesting answers. I am going to be 65 on my next birthday- my wife 62 on hers-40 years married. Intimacy, yes, it is still happening-except there is one problem-back seat intimacy-spontaneous- is almost impossible now-arthritis-you know?. We always celebrate our anniversary in the back-seat- our first son was conceived there.

Sweet that you two would still choose to celebrate your anniversary on that perpetual back seat. How many people can say that their first son was conceived there?

Take some aspirin for that arthritis, it should make the spontaneity a bit easier.

Take care!

Alot of guys out there dont feel it is the "manly thing " to be an intimate romantic husband. However alot of guys out there also get tired of having to compete with the dream guys from movies and books. We want to be made to feel just as special as women (in different ways but also the same in some cases) do and when that is lacking we dont feel much reason to play the role of the Prince, hero, or any other role. As i noted above, it does work both ways. If you want your significant other to make you feel special, reciprocate by finding ways to do the same. No Im not talking about a beer with a rose in it or the remote handed to him during candle light tv tray dinner during Sports Central. (Although dont rule that out..lol) You know what makes your fella feel special. Its the things you say and do. It doesnt have to be about sex. Nor does it have to take hours to prepare. When you make us feel like we are special with just something off the wall spontaneous it is just as good as something that takes hours to prepare for. It also makes us realize where we are falling short in the intimacy department and have to reciprocate it to feel like we are on an even playing field (and haven't been one up'ed). In the end both partners get in the habit of filling that intimacy void and make each other happier.

On a side note if it doesnt work you have more ammo to throw up in his face when you feel like being particularly mad at him.

On another side note...

I said it doesnt have to be about sex...again dont rule that out...lol

Wonderful answer Bryan. You've won the bouquet for the answer to the question of the day.

I want to thank you for being so candid in your answer. It is a pleasure to get a man's perspective on things like this especially when the majority of the women who answered said that they were lacking in initmacy.

I guess I'm going to have to repost my article on how to get more intimacy again as life sure is short without all of the hugging, kissing and loving that one can possibly get!

Bryan said: However alot of guys out there also get tired of having to compete with the dream guys from movies and books.

Personally Bryan, I don't know too many women who compare their men with the guys in the movies & books. Sure they may have a little fantasy or two now and then, but I doubt when a woman loves a man that she's comparing him to anyone else. Besides from reading all your posts and answers Bryan, it seems your wife has a real good guy......how could she want anyone else!? JMHO!

Thanks Barbara, I appreciate that more than you know!

Let me pose this question though. How many men hear these words?

"I wish my man was more like that."

or

"I wish my man was more like yours."

Alot more than you think. I hear that coming out of movies when I go to one with my wife. Several times I have heard woman actually saying that to their significant other as they came out of the movies with their man. Generally they get the same reaction. An eye roll and a silence that says "I will never take her back to another movie like that again"..lol Of course i cant equate all women or even a large, medium or small percentage with this. Everyone is different. I can only go by what i see and hear. :)

Words are cheap Bryan. It's how your wife treats you that counts. And besides that they can wish all they want for that sexy guy up there on the screen.....wishing "ain't" getting! Get that guy off the screen and away from the role he's playing and back to reality, paying bills, hearing kids screaming (or the wife), taking out the garbage and yada, yada, yada and lets see how desirable he is then. Fantasy is just that.....fantasy. It gives us all something to dream about!

Point taken :)

My cat purrs with its paws resting on my shoulder as we sleep. A hug which I look foward to. On my finger rests a butterfly for but a brief moment, a hello short but sweet yet still an intimate moment. One solitary pigeon sits atop behind me on a park bench and coos every saturday afternoon when I feed her. On a still tranquil lake my canoe sits with a full moon reflecting from the water. Crickets chirp their greetings to me and the fireflies dance around my head. Yes, I am getting enough intimacy.

Intimacy can mean a lot of things. I've been spending some quality time with my cat lately but it's completely platonic.

Right on, Michael!!

The time that my husband and I spend together is so limited. He works so many hours a week. We have come to an agreement. I do not bother him at work and he makes the time that we are together focused just on us. It works out well.

none....nuff said

OH I'm sure I am

(have ya missed me Esther?)

I most certainly have dear one!

How was your trip??