I am at my wits end

Summer getting long?

that is what i am wondering, he bugging me for school to start

You know...I read something similar by two different people last week who also had 4 year olds. Not sure what to tell you. My son is now 25 and he was a real blessing, especially at that age. (Plus my forgetter works really well...)

What does he enjoy? Take that away and make a point of it. (We could be XXXX right now, but you made bad choices earlier.)

i say take the pool away.. maybe that will work

Sometimes its a challenge to hear/understand what actions are saying.

jealous? is Brie getting a little more attention then him? or he is just going through a phase.

Whether it's a phase or not, it's good to nip it in the bud ASAP.
I agree with those who said to take enjoyable activities away.
Make sure he knows ahead of time which behaviors are not acceptable and what the consequences will be. Then be sure to follow through.
When it comes to a battle of decisions, give him 2 choices, both of which are acceptable to you, and let him choose which one to take, that way he thinks it was HIS idea and things go smoother. (btw, this technique works with husbands too! rofl)
I hope this passes by quickly.... I know how frustrating it can be.

i have tried that, i make it tougher tonight, i told him the 1st time he does not listen he is in his chair 2nd time, he is in his room, 3rd no pool for that day, 4th no outside, 5 and last no toys

Just be consistent. When he does something wrong, act right then. Don't wait until he does the 4th thing wrong. He'll get the idea that he can't get away with it.

Just in case he's screaming for more attention, when he is behaving, take some extra time with him.

I agree with Elizabeth, be consistent. ps. for us, we never used the room as a punishment, because my childrens rooms are their santuary. they love being in their room with so much to see... I made them sit on the last step, set a timer and here's the thing. you have to sit across from them. But don't talk. you can not be out of his sight, or he will actually have fun.. writing on the walls with his finger..making tracks in the carpet. I also said, when the timer goes off, he must apologize to whom ever for what ever before running to play. and I taught my other children to say "I accept your apology."

Because we chose to not hit in our family, it took a lot of creativity to get the children to behave. You could work on the positive side. split the day into 2 halves. If he is good then he gets a star for that half of the day. and he still has to continue to behave the second half... (now trust me, boys will be boys..so you have to be forgiving and pick your battles.) this way, he is actually working on good behavior than seeing how far he can push you with bad behavior.

Finally, Full Moon.. makes people act differently... also, is he playing with another boy that is acting up also? they tend to mimick each other.

I am going through some of this now with my 6 year old...and we have been working on it since she was 4, we have our ups and downs...

The most important thing is consistency...I've noticed that when I relax even just a little she goes right back to out of control because she thinks she has found a way to manipulate...so we have stopped all relaxation..she is expected to be obedient 100% of the time, no exceptions....
she is punished right away no second chances.....

Eventually my goal is that she learns to just behave the first time...I know it will work because I have a friend who does the same and has forever with her children and they are like angels....
Sure they have there ups and downs but respect and authority is rarely if ever an issue at her home...

Punishments can include time out, spankin, grounding, taking toys away, time in room, talking to, reminding why God wants us to obey (Ephesians 6:1) , she also has a chore list that must be done before anything else.. also she knows that when she misbehaves it is very disappointing because we know that she can behave therefore she is choosing to misbehave and we point this out, it helps her realize that we know that she is choosing to be disobedient...

I know overall the most important thing is consistency, that's not only with behavior it's also with every day things...keep a schedule...it doesn't have to be rigid....just consistent...

And praise your son when he does something worth praise, notice when he is behaving and say something, that way it is completely clear the type of behavior you expect.

good advice thanks

Have you been out of the house much lately? Maybe he has cabin fever and just has too much energy built up! My kids are 8 and 5 and if we aren't active enough, like in the winter, the same thing happens to them!

And remember, he's a 4 year old boy! That in itself explains a lot! :)

Actually we have been out more then in, we have been outside most of the day all day. Now we still have a few things going on but nothing that would cause this..

I am truely ready to pull my hair out...

I would try standing in the corner or sitting on a bench/chair for timeout. I sit and watch him. Set the time out for how old he is. Once he is out he has to tell you why he was in time out. It really makes them think of what they did wrong.

The one thing I know about children is they look so adorable when they're asleep which makes a parent almost forgot a rough day.

I'm sure most will disagree, however God instructs us in Proverbs to use a "rod" That's a switch in layman terms..... I don't use it very often. Don't have to... Only if my grandchildren get out of control, nasty and/or extremely defiant to parental authority.. If so, then out it comes and that's the end of the power struggle.......lol.. btw, it burns like fire, they don't soon forget it, and you don't have to raise your voice or loose your self control.....

What had been the norm for disciplining children for hundreds of years, has become a taboo among the “politically correct. It was practiced openly in the public schools and even at times in the setting of the church. However, with the rise of Dr. Spock and his book on how to raise a child, spanking began to be attacked from the liberal, non-Christian segment of our society.

Proverbs 13:24: “He that spareth his rod, hateth his son; but he who loveth him chasteneth him betimes.”

Prov 10:13, “Wisdom is found on the lips of him who has understanding, But a rod is for the back of him who is devoid of understanding.”

Prov 22:15, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him.”

Prov 23:13, “Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he
will not die.”

Prov 23:14, “You shall beat him with a rod, And deliver his soul from hell.”

MOST importantly, spanking should always be driven by a parents LOVE for the child, NOT done in anger or frustration! If done for the wrong reasons, it then ceases to become training and becomes abuse...

That's the Lord's 2 cents and I hope it helps you...

Children go through phases of acting out from time to time. It is there way of testing the boundaries we set. Time outs must be consistent and at 4 1/2 ten minutes may not be enough time. Since my 5 1/2 year old grandson moved back here with his mom he has been incredibly defiant. I will not tolerate him being disrespectful to me or any adult. I put a little step stool right on the side of my desk. When he acts out he knows he is going to have to sit in it. The time out rule is that once he is sitting and remains quiet I will allow him to apologize and get up. We usually discuss his actions as well. The time varies. Two weeks ago he was in time out for over an hour. It seems like a long time but he kept getting up and calling me names. Each time he did he had to sit down again. Once he is quiet I let him up with in a few minutes. Today he had an outburst and after a few minutes he was quiet and acting contrite. He asked if he could get up and I was in the middle of speaking to someone so I said in one minute. He started screaming and calling me names again. He knew right away that he had just extended his time out. It is starting to work. Two weeks ago I had to drag him to the stool today I only had to lead him.

I kind of remember at almost 5 as a semi-rebellious time for my son too....even time-outs didn't work, so we started taking those precious little things from him...his TV time worked pretty good, and of course boxing up all of his toys and readying them for delivery to an orphanage where good kids could play with them instead of him...

at that age, he's feeling out his independence. you have to remain firm; he's looking for guidance but he wants it on his terms.
i like d.d.'s idea of breaking the day up into 2. appropriate behavior is rewarded. inappropriate behavior has a consequence. a reward could be a cookie or an apple. i know he's into his transfomers right now. if he does something to his sister or whatever; take a transformer & put it away (have him go with you to put it away). tell him if he acts the right way tomorrow he can have his transformer back. keep going through the transformers until they're all gone if you have to.
keep a chart on the refrigerator. if it's full of stars for being good for the week; maybe get him a small robot or something at the dollar store. show him what the reward is for being good for the week. show him how he can earn that reward. when he isn't good; explain to him why he won't get a star & how the end of the week reward will have to wait until next week. oy....ok, i'll stop; you get the idea.
it's a process. his behavior won't change overnight. this is one of those moments that you look back on in a few years & wonder how HE survived. hugs :)

yeah, wait until age 12.............hehehe.........

i am wondering now, i just might try the chart, as for transformers toys, we don't have any of those yet, they are so expensive I haave to say to get them for him for christmas.. so far since he woke up this morning, he has said he will listen better, and so far he is. I swear if it does not change i will be air mailing him to vegas. I am truely at my wits end and it is starting to show on brie

livonia is much closer than vegas!!!!

he has robots that he plays with & i think i saw kind of a robot at the dollar store. you might want to do a chart anyway. you can do one for "chores" if he starts listening better & doesn't need the behavior chart. i'm pretty sure you can find a chart online to print out. i'll look, too.

^^randee^^ is right....wait til he's 12!!! hugs :)