by Stefanie Plum, Gather Partner Team
Member since:
February 19, 2008

Live chat on parenting advice. Tonight 8-10PM ET. Win a book and Gather Points™!

August 11, 2009 10:12 AM EDT (Updated: August 11, 2009 02:50 PM EDT)
views: 265 | rating: 10/10 (8 votes) | comments: 242

Do you need parenting advice? Do you have parenting advice to give?

Join Gather moms and dads in a live chat to discuss how to deal with various issues with children of all ages, from infants to teenagers. The chat takes place tonight from 8-10PM ET in the comment field of this post.

 

Topics to consider include:

Your babies’ new life

  • Keeping your baby safe
  • Letting your baby explore

Raising your toddler

  • Fussy eaters
  • Linking playing and learning

Preschoolers

  • Sibling rivalry
  • Making friends

Grade Schoolers

  • Bullying
  • Peer pressure

Teens

  • Challenging behavior
  • Relationships
  • When to worry

 

These topics are inspired by DK Publishing’s new book, Ask an Expert. Gather will draw five people who participate during the chat to receive a copy of the new book and 100 Gather Points™!


Refresh your internet browser to see new comments appear.

 

 


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One entry per person who participates in the chat. No purchase necessary. See official rules.
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Comments: 242

carolyn b. Aug 11, 2009, 12:42pm EDT
Thanks, I'll, try if I don't forget
christina s. Aug 12, 2009, 11:40pm EDT
great evening with the grandson
christina s. Aug 12, 2009, 11:42pm EDT
and doing homework. Love it..UGH but pretty neat. Son is flying blackhawks tonight and we watch the "boy" so strange to do homework after all these years but fun
Cowpie Lane Aug 11, 2009, 12:54pm EDT
I'll try to be here
sharon SugarMomma is a wise woman, Aug 11, 2009, 5:10pm EDT
I'll try and remember
karen h. Aug 11, 2009, 5:30pm EDT
not a chat for me but thanks any way
J F. Aug 11, 2009, 6:10pm EDT
Have fun with the chat. I love them.
Kelly M. Aug 11, 2009, 6:30pm EDT
Thanks!
Amy H. Aug 11, 2009, 6:40pm EDT
My parenting advice, during this chat "Watch Big Brother".hehehehehe
Christina Bell Aug 11, 2009, 7:26pm EDT
I shall be here. :)
Mary G. Aug 11, 2009, 8:06pm EDT
I'm here is it the wrong day?
Ruthi C. Aug 11, 2009, 8:06pm EDT
I made it to the chat, hooRAYo!
Mary G. Aug 11, 2009, 8:07pm EDT
Well, I'm glad to see somebody is here now.
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:07pm EDT
Hi Mary, I'm here too! Are we the only ones?
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:07pm EDT
Looks like it's just the 3 of us! LOL!
Mary G. Aug 11, 2009, 8:08pm EDT
My parenting advice listen to your child (ren) and spend quality time with them.
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:08pm EDT
So, my kids are Chandler 8 1/2 and Stephy 5 1/2! I will have a 3rd grader and a Kindergartner this year!

What about you?
Kimber L. Aug 11, 2009, 8:09pm EDT
Hi I made it!
Ruthi C. Aug 11, 2009, 8:09pm EDT
Hi Kimber!
Ruthi C. Aug 11, 2009, 8:09pm EDT
Hi Bridget! And nice to meet you Mary!
Kimber L. Aug 11, 2009, 8:09pm EDT
I have a 5th grader (age 10) and a 2nd grader (age 7)
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:09pm EDT
I'm a parent that sets rules and gives consequences. I think those are two very important things for children! Teach them from a young age, they are our future!

Spend as much time with them as you possibly can, love them, play with them and make wonderful memories with them! They aren't little for very long!
April H. Aug 11, 2009, 9:14pm EDT
So true Bridget
Alena Chauntee AKA Kitten Aug 11, 2009, 9:50pm EDT
I agree with that Bridget
Mary G. Aug 11, 2009, 8:09pm EDT
My daughter is a college student.
Mary G. Aug 11, 2009, 8:10pm EDT
I agree my daughter is taller than me, so certainly not little.
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:10pm EDT
My baby starts school next month. She is thrilled and it's hitting me really hard! :(
Ruthi C. Aug 11, 2009, 8:12pm EDT
Oh, those were the days! I just became president of PTA for those years, LOL
Ruthi C. Aug 11, 2009, 8:11pm EDT
Since mine is grown and gone I must say my best advice is to EnJOY your wee ones while you have them!
Steve V. Aug 11, 2009, 8:11pm EDT
What are we talking about?
Christina Bell Aug 11, 2009, 8:12pm EDT
As someone whom is currently pregnant with my first I was wondering what should you already have prepared for the first few weeks?
Ruthi C. Aug 11, 2009, 8:13pm EDT
A resting place, LOL
Mary G. Aug 11, 2009, 8:13pm EDT
Have plenty of diapers, as we sure were surprised at the number we needed every day.
Mary G. Aug 11, 2009, 8:13pm EDT
Ruth LOL
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:14pm EDT
My mom came and stayed with me for the first week, that was so nice to have those extra hands!

Have all your errands, laundry, cleaning, etc. done! What isn't done can WAIT! Enjoy those first few weeks, take it easy and just enjoy the new baby!

CONGRATS!
Christina Bell Aug 11, 2009, 8:14pm EDT
lol Ruth, we have a nice queen bed for that. ;)

How many diapers does a newborn go through? I am going with cloth diapers myself.
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:15pm EDT
I'll say atleast 8 - 10 a day!
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:15pm EDT
They need changed atleast every 2 hours, sometimes more often than that! Just remember that every baby is different!
Christina Bell Aug 11, 2009, 8:16pm EDT
That's a good point with the cleaning Bridget. Unfortunately, we live two hours away from everyone so I have a feeling it'll just be me, and hubby. Oh and thanks for the congrats. :)
Ruthi C. Aug 11, 2009, 8:16pm EDT
I used cloth diapers also...and they go through lots & lots! I think I washed 2 or 3 dozen a day forever!
Christina Bell Aug 11, 2009, 8:20pm EDT
That's true Bridget every baby is different and I'll probably figure out our daughter soon enough.

Whew that's a lot of washing Ruth!
Ruthi C. Aug 11, 2009, 8:23pm EDT
Not really, they're perfect for so many things, they're a soft bath towel for the babies too. I think it's a feeling next to their skin they're accustomed to.
Christina Bell Aug 11, 2009, 8:26pm EDT
Yeah, I'm mostly doing cloth diapers because I couldn't be in disposables as a baby myself without breaking out in rashes. If she's anything like me, she too will have that sensitive skin.
Vicky K. Aug 11, 2009, 9:26pm EDT
Christina - congrats! I recommend taking a breast-feeding class and see if that is something you would like to do. It was only a few hours and really helped me make the decision to do it and then in the hsp after my kids were born the nurses helped me a lot which made it a success. I would have never thought of it if someone had not suggested to me so hope it helps you. :)
Mary G. Aug 11, 2009, 8:12pm EDT
I remember when she started school and it was really hard for us. She didn't want to go and one of her best friends attended the same school with her in pre-school.
Kimber L. Aug 11, 2009, 8:12pm EDT
One of the questions above was about how to deal with bullies - I love my kids school in that they videotape hallways, some classrooms, and gymnasium. In the past one of my kids got into a confrontation with a bully. THe principal was able to pull the tape to see what happened and show the parents as well. That way there is no question what happened and no one can argue that maybe we misunderstood what happened - there was proof. THEN in the future they monitored that kid more closely to see how he behaved. THe kids are also aware they are being taped so they behave better I think. Knowing that they are not going to get away with anything.
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:12pm EDT
I'll be in this chat for as long as I can be, I still have to make the kids dinner before my Special Bedtime Moments chat starts at 9:00 EST (6 PST)
Ruthi C. Aug 11, 2009, 8:13pm EDT
Another chat??? I forgot about that one!!!
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:14pm EDT
Yeppers, another chat! :)
Kimber L. Aug 11, 2009, 8:13pm EDT
Christina - good luck to you - my sister is due with her first baby Sept 4 but I think she is going to have the baby August 20th! LOL
Christina Bell Aug 11, 2009, 8:17pm EDT
Thanks Kimber. I'm due Nov 25th, right about Thanksgiving day hehe.
Ruthi C. Aug 11, 2009, 8:18pm EDT
What a gift to be thankful for :-)
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:16pm EDT
Christina,

when are you due? My sister is pregnant with baby #2 and due January 14th!
Ruthi C. Aug 11, 2009, 8:17pm EDT
My son's birthday is the 11th!
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:18pm EDT
Stephy's birthday is the 13th! LOL!
Christina Bell Aug 11, 2009, 8:18pm EDT
Nov. 25th. :) Congrats to your sister.
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:20pm EDT
My sister's birthday is November 22nd!
Lori Cee (rest in peace, jJack.) Aug 11, 2009, 8:17pm EDT
hello! how is everyone?
Ruthi C. Aug 11, 2009, 8:17pm EDT
Hi Lori!
☀ Aunt Shanny Aug 11, 2009, 8:18pm EDT
Hey!
Ruthi C. Aug 11, 2009, 8:19pm EDT
Hey yourself Aunt Shanny!
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:21pm EDT
Hey there ladies!
Lori Cee (rest in peace, jJack.) Aug 11, 2009, 8:21pm EDT
hi, ruth! how are you?
Lori Cee (rest in peace, jJack.) Aug 11, 2009, 8:22pm EDT
shan shan!


hi, ms bridget! that's what kiki calls you when i saw her your photos of chandler and stephany. =)
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:26pm EDT
Ms Bridget, cute! I have lots of kids that call me Bridgie! :)
Kimber L. Aug 11, 2009, 8:18pm EDT
With peer pressure we talk about stuff, different ways she can say no to things without feeling weird or like she sticks out, how people who are truly her friends will not get mad at her if she says no to them, how people who do get mad if she says no are either jerks or they are jealous of her that she is strong enough to say no to something and stick to it.
Christina Bell Aug 11, 2009, 8:23pm EDT
Peer pressure is such a hard thing. I was always a shy quiet kid in school and very difficult for me to say no back then. As an adult I have a completely different perspective though. In my case it was something I had to learn, and grow from.
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:19pm EDT
We have always told our children to be themselves! No matter what their friends think or what their friends are doing - doesn't mean they have to do it too! Dare to be yourself!
Lori Cee (rest in peace, jJack.) Aug 11, 2009, 8:23pm EDT
argh! i just had that same talk with kiki.
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:25pm EDT
It's important for them to learn!
Lori Cee (rest in peace, jJack.) Aug 11, 2009, 8:29pm EDT
kiki definitely dances to the beat of her own drummer and i encourage that. but sometimes she can worry about what others will think of her choices like how she wears her hair and the outfits she likes.
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:19pm EDT
If your friends don't like you for who you are - then they aren't your friends!
Ruthi C. Aug 11, 2009, 8:20pm EDT
Training for when they grow up...happens the same way with us.
Kimber L. Aug 11, 2009, 8:20pm EDT
We role play too and set up situations. I also use examples how sometimes she asks me to do things and I say no but it doesn' t make her stop liking/loving me just because I said no does it? that kind of thing. I also teach them to be themselves!
Kimber L. Aug 11, 2009, 8:21pm EDT
I have taught my kids the importance of honesty from a young age too - they know they can come to me with ANYTHING and they often do - I HOPE they will carry that over into their friendships and personal relationships that level of communication and respect for honesty and what is right!
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:23pm EDT
Same here! My kids know that if they did something wrong but still tell the truth, they won't get in as much trouble. But if they lie and we know it - then it's going to hit the fan!
Winona Morris Aug 11, 2009, 8:22pm EDT
I'm not a mom yet, but I'm pregnant with my first now. (My due date is Nov. 20). I'm officially getting the new mom jitters. I won't have the slightest clue WHAT to do with a newborn.
Lori Cee (rest in peace, jJack.) Aug 11, 2009, 8:22pm EDT
congratulations!
Kimber L. Aug 11, 2009, 8:23pm EDT
my sister is nervous too - she NEVER EVEN babysat when she was younger!! There are plenty of great parents on here who can give excellent advice as you need it - they will post answers to your questions as they come up!
Winona Morris Aug 11, 2009, 8:24pm EDT
Thanks for the congrats Lori.
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:24pm EDT
CONGRATS! How exciting. I remember those jitters but as soon as you have that baby in your arms, they all go away!
Winona Morris Aug 11, 2009, 8:24pm EDT
Kimber, I babysat, but all the kids I sat for were out of diapers already. I don't remember ever even holding a baby before. I'm grateful to have the internet at my fingertips when I need to scream for help.

Not to mention my mother in law lives right across the street.
Lori Cee (rest in peace, jJack.) Aug 11, 2009, 8:25pm EDT
i was nervous with both of my pregnancies but everything seemed to happen naturally once my children were born. since then it has been quite a ride!
Christina Bell Aug 11, 2009, 8:25pm EDT
Congrats and Winona that's how I feel at times. I'm due Nov. 25th so we are pretty close hehe. I've babysat before, but those kids left my house at a certain time, I can't imagine what it will be like to have our daughter here. I am excited to meet her, yet I worry "what ifs?"
Kimber L. Aug 11, 2009, 8:25pm EDT
Oh yeah - Congrats too!
Lori Cee (rest in peace, jJack.) Aug 11, 2009, 8:26pm EDT
winona, not being afraid to ask for help is a step in the right direction.
Winona Morris Aug 11, 2009, 8:27pm EDT
Christina, we are so close together. It would be funny if we ended up delivering on the same day!

Yep, I get the "what ifs" too. Espically at night when I can't sleep and all I can do is lay there and think.
Lori Cee (rest in peace, jJack.) Aug 11, 2009, 8:27pm EDT
congratulations, christina!
Kimber L. Aug 11, 2009, 8:27pm EDT
You are lucky to have your mother-in-law so close!! My mom lives 2 1/2 hours away now but I was lucky enough to have her close while my daughter was small. My mother-in-law lives around the corner.
Winona Morris Aug 11, 2009, 8:29pm EDT
I'm certailny glad that my MIL and I are very close, and she's not one of the horrid ones. My own mom hasn't been a part of my life for a long, long time and doesn't even know I'm pregnant. I keep thinking I'll call her then keep not doing it. I just wish some of my family lived closer. I have my hubbys family nearby, but all of my own family lives 3 hours away.
Christina Bell Aug 11, 2009, 8:32pm EDT
Thanks for the congrats Lori. ;)

It would be neat if we had the babies around the same time Winona. If you ever need to vent or share stories when our babies arrive feel free to.
Winona Morris Aug 11, 2009, 8:25pm EDT
Bridget, others have told me the same thing. That the "mothering instinct" will kick in as soon as he's born.
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:26pm EDT
They are telling you the truth! :)
Kimber L. Aug 11, 2009, 8:29pm EDT
IT really does!!! I never planned to have them but now I am ecstatic and never ever would even want to imagine life without them THEY ARE WONDERFUL!
Ruthi C. Aug 11, 2009, 8:41pm EDT
YES it will Winona!
Christina Bell Aug 11, 2009, 8:29pm EDT
Another question, my hubby gets one week paid paternal leave and is excited to have it, I was wondering if there's anything I can do to help him get use to being a father? I know for males it's different since they don't carry the baby for nine months and some have difficulties adjusting.
Kimber L. Aug 11, 2009, 8:31pm EDT
Have him talk to the baby while you are carrying it - there is proof that the baby will recognize his voice when it is out and instinctively bond closer with him then if he hadn't talked to it while you were still pregnant
Christina Bell Aug 11, 2009, 8:33pm EDT
He does talk to her and in fact sang her Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. She either started kicking to make him stop or she likes her father's voice and was dancing.
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:39pm EDT
Let him go at his own pace, many men are very umcomfortable around babies - even their own. Babies are so tiny and many men think they are fragile and they might hurt them! :)

There are some great books out there, maybe go to the bookstore and find a book and give it to him as a gift from the baby! :)
Christina Bell Aug 11, 2009, 8:42pm EDT
That's true Bridget. I know my hubby is worried about being a good father with a baby, because he's never been around newborns before.

Any book recommendations?
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:45pm EDT
I don't have any personal recommendations but this looks like a good one...

New Father Book: What Every New Father Needs to Know to Be a Good Dad
Kimber L. Aug 11, 2009, 8:32pm EDT
I have to go now - it was nice talking to everyone!
Christina Bell Aug 11, 2009, 8:34pm EDT
See you Kimber. :)
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:39pm EDT
Bye, enjoy the rest of your evening!
dreama e. Aug 11, 2009, 8:38pm EDT
Hi all
I am a mother to an 18 yr old, a 11 yr old, a 10 yr old and a new 11 wk old baby
I have seen alot :) all the spectrum's of parenting
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:40pm EDT
Wow,

18 and 11 weeks, that a big age difference!
Wanda H. Aug 11, 2009, 8:39pm EDT
My kids are grown with kids of their own and I even have my first great granddaughter! Christina, the best advice I think you can get about helping your husband get used to be a father is to let him build his own relationship with the new baby. Encourage hiim to hold the baby, change a diaper, feed if you're not nursing, bathing the baby and rocking that little darlin' to sleep. New fathers often get edged out in the first few days when the baby comes home. Mom is so busy with nursing, changing etc.

I guess the real thing is to allow Dad to fall in love with the baby just like Mom does.

Congratulations Christina.
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:40pm EDT
Excellent advice!
Ruthi C. Aug 11, 2009, 8:43pm EDT
Great advice Wanda! Daddy needs that bond with the baby & the baby needs it for sure :-)
Christina Bell Aug 11, 2009, 8:43pm EDT
Thanks for the great advice Wanda! :) It must be so exciting to have a great granddaughter.
Ramisa Tanvir Aug 11, 2009, 9:07pm EDT
I am glad my hubby is a great dad, coz he loves his kids and specially his little girl after two boys. At times in the night when I am not nursing her he just wants to hold her and go to sleep.
Trish A. Aug 11, 2009, 8:42pm EDT
Good evening. I'm with Wanda, our girls are grown up and one has a little one turning 1. Now I get to go back and remember all the different stages.
Ruthi C. Aug 11, 2009, 8:44pm EDT
And each stage is awesome in and of itself!

Hi Trish!
dreama e. Aug 11, 2009, 8:42pm EDT
My advice to you christina for would be to not push him if he is nervous about the new baby (holding, feeding, etc) Dads get so nervous about how small they are and with my husband I just helped him get used to it by letting him do things in his own time and if he did something I wouldnt have done I didnt say anything other than maybe next time lets do it this way. I didnt want to discourage him to try again
Christina Bell Aug 11, 2009, 8:48pm EDT
That's true dreama, I shall remain patient with him.
Brenda (square peg in a round hole) H. Aug 11, 2009, 8:44pm EDT
I have a question, but it involves my grandson. I hope its ok to ask it here. He is 5 years old and is terrified of thunderstorms and I mean really terrified. His mother is talking about taking him to a therapist. I told her to hold off on that so I could do some research first. I also offered to have his poppy talk to him. His poppy loves thunderstorms. I am looking for ideas from anyone who has had the same or similar problem. My son was never scared of storms(even though I was-lol), so I really don't know how to handle this. I'd much rather deal with this as a family without involving a therapist as there aren't many around here that are good with kids. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Christina Bell Aug 11, 2009, 8:47pm EDT
I was scared of thunderstorms as a child until my parents explained what they really were in terms a child can understand. They talked about what makes the noise, and why the clouds turn black. They made it fascinating and appealed to my natural curiosity.
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:48pm EDT
How sad, I understand how they can be scary though. I honestly don't think he needs to go to a therapist over it though.

Maybe you can get some books about thunderstorms and read those to him. They can explain what is happening through stories and photos but without all the loud noises. That would be where I would start.

Then from there, maybe more to some movies and watch them without the sound several times first and then slowly work towards turing the volume up!
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:53pm EDT
Here is a great experiment that shows kids how our weather works. It teaches them how thunderstorms are formed!

Thunderstorm Experiment
Brenda (square peg in a round hole) H. Aug 11, 2009, 9:01pm EDT
Thanks Christina and Bridget. I came across that link earlier and thought an experiment might be something fun to do with him.
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 9:50pm EDT
Good luck Brenda!
Trish A. Aug 11, 2009, 8:46pm EDT
I'm with dreama, it will happen naturally. You may even have to fight him for time with the little one!
Christina Bell Aug 11, 2009, 8:48pm EDT
lol I can't wait until that happens down the road Trish! ;)
Trish A. Aug 11, 2009, 8:52pm EDT
It will! I was blessed to be with my daughter and her husband when they had their child almost a year ago. Her husband couldn't keep his hands off the little guy. It made my heart sing.
Ramisa Tanvir Aug 11, 2009, 8:50pm EDT
Hello everyone. Glad I could make it tonight, was not sure if i will be able to join
Bridget ♥ Aug 11, 2009, 8:51pm EDT
Hi there!
Christina Bell Aug 11, 2009, 8:51pm EDT
Hello Ramisa, nice to see you here. :)
Ramisa Tanvir Aug 11, 2009, 8:54pm EDT
Hey Christina, nice to see u too today.
Ramisa Tanvir Aug 11, 2009, 8:53pm EDT
I had the same issue with my older son when he was 3 yrs. Now he is 5 and he understands as he reads about them from his books.
Ruthi C. Aug 11, 2009, 8:56pm EDT
I'm sorry, got company, gotta go, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Nancy S. Aug 11, 2009, 8:57pm EDT
Hi all. Just checked in to see the discussion.
Ramisa Tanvir Aug 11, 2009, 8:59pm EDT
hello Nancy.