I really don't know how much more I can take. Sometimes I feel there is someone out there that just wants to slam a door in my face to keep me from achieving. Isn't this a time I should be the happiest mommy in the world? I finally have my son legally adopted, safe in my arms. Yet still it is like things never change.
Let me give you an outline, and I am just going to mention the situation regarding James because I have more going on I don't want to mention.
July 22nd James' egg donor gets out of prison early. We hurry to get the emergency order of protection back in place. Go through the PAVE for victims just like we are told to do. Specifically I ask does this mean she can not call? The answer yes that is what it means.
July 30th Happiest day of my life, the adoption is final.
July 31st Go to an appointment for Eric it went so so could of been worse.
July 31st Cont. We return home to a letter on my door. Long story what it is but not good
August 1st. James' egg donor breaks the order of protection. Her county says our county has to come out for a statement. Our county comes out we show the times she called. We volunteer to call with him there to prove it was her. No need to do that is the reply. Her county we informed that she stated she wasn't even staying at her grandmother's where she was paroled to. No idea if he went to check or not but I have reason to believe he did and warned them that we was making a complaint about the calls.
Now in between here the dates are all scrambled in my head. But Eric calls to see what is going on because the cops tell us they are turning it over to the States of Attorney. We was understood her county. He called her county no report. He called our county they claimed they didn't know if they had it or not yet.
Okay mom is pissed now. Time for me to step in. I call Shelby County police which is her county. They look it up and the lady said she don't see nothing done that she thought Fayette County officer sent it to Fayette county States Attorney. I knew then this was going to be a big cycle.
Eric calls Illinois Department of Corrections after advice from PAVE to see if we could speak to her PO. Her PO calls back and lets us know that she as well called to move 30 min. prior to our call. That if a warrant is issued he will happily go pick her up.
Sunday we get another call it is her grandmother. Major no no no no three parties allowed. Wanting to know the time for court for the next order of protection and that Laura wants to see James. Another good thing Eric talked to her and not me because I would of told her to tell her dumb psychotic granddaughter to look at the emergency order of protection and she will find out. As well look at the adoption and order of protection where it says SHE HAS NO RIGHTS! It is okay though Eric has been informed to let them know I talk next.
This isn't including all the hang up calls we are getting with blocked calls. Seems she is back to her famous little trick.
Our states attorney continues to drag his feet. Then we speak with her PO again on Friday and he said he thought a warrant was going to be issued. Today we call states attorney his informs he don't know what he is going to do yet because he is waiting on an officer to call but he would call back later today. By then I am fuming and probable good thing Eric is talking to these people. Then 3:30 today I tell Eric call the states attorney back he hasn't returned your call and he closes at 4. Well secretary says he has his number and when he knows something he will call. Not long after that we get a call. States Attorney's office the secretary lets us know the officer didn't write but a paragraph that night so he needed another officer that knows nothing about the case to investigate. As well they agree Eric's statement is there in which he gave dates, times, how the adoption is final, everything! Ok what more information is needed here can you not read? Plus the statement is attached with the police report. Plus that officer who was on that night is now on vacation.
So I am really mad by then and Eric tells me he is calling the Governor's Office. Okay he does and they put us through to the State Police. Real nice guy that explains a few things to us but of course he don't know it all either. I get pissed and I tell Eric let me talk to him and he says his wife wants to talk to him. All I have to say is "This nut case is Bipolar and Schizophrenic" He said that explains a lot to me. Oh really does it I am thinking under my breath so why don't anyone else understand? I as well let him know to be honest I am scared what this nut case is going to do next. He tells me all I can do is document everything, keep copies of the order of protection and keep calling the officer. OMG that is what I have done! I also tell him that I keep getting told to screen my cell phone call and that if they don't leave a message they don't need to talk to me. He says "Well you know and I know that isn't practical" hmm really you don't say?
Now that a officer agrees with me on that one come on someone else give me that advice. Especially when I am running a foundation for child abuse here. You let me tell anyone who call you leave a message to talk to me then I will help you.
So I tell Eric my next step is this one. Eric is suppose to be in court on the 13th for the worthless order of protection to make it 2 years effective, which I don't get to stand by my husband's side because I wasn't James' legal mom at the time so I don't get included in this order of protection. It is okay this one can protect herself I am good at dealing with nut cases I have lived with them all my life. Not a problem here.
Then is still nothing is done. I got news there will be a letter to the editor how our States Attorney don't want to protect a 3 yr old little boy. From a nut case that violated 2 times before this one and has went to prison. From a nut case that tried drowning him! Then when I am done there I am calling every TV station around to let them know that orders of protections are only effective if the ones that are to enforce them wants to do their job!
I am mad and I am pissed. I am sorry for ranting but something is going to get done. For her sake she best hope she don't show up at my house this time. I will protect my son no matter what!
Oh one final thing and the next time my son is crying because he is scared because this nut case is harassing us. I promise you this I will call the police and or States Attorney to explain why they aren't protecting him like I keep telling him they will do. No need for him to call his Aunt MiMi so she can tell him she captured her just so he can sleep. Lets let them explain to a 3 year old I want to hear the answer myself.
If all this isn't enough we got bills adding up and adding up. My disability don't kick in till the 26th. My back pay is pretty well gone when it gets here. Majority of it goes to back child support like it should, because I am a good mom that chose to continue to support her kids even though I wasn't working instead of cutting off their child support. We have spent I don't know how much to protect this child and give him parents like he deserves and to be safe. Why? So some nut case can keep playing her games. Well now this mom is fighting back, this mom is mad.
If anyone else has any advice please contact me. But please don't tell me any more to screen my calls, or to change my number, or to move. We are the victim and these things don't work. Even the officer today said if we feel we are in danger to keep an eye out. That is only advice he could give me. What ever happened to victims rights? What ever happened to a 3 yr old victims rights?
UPDATED 8-11-09 Some possible good news to all of this today an officer came by to see if I would make a statement. All of a sudden the States Attorney said it would be better with two statements. Okay not a problem I filled it out. The officer was really nice female officer. She said she is making a report and that it probable won't go to his office till so late in the day. Hopefully in a few days we will know something.
recommend this
email
print
link to this page
Comments: 53
Sadly, also, from everything I've ever heard PO's are practically useless.
I had a killer tracking/stalking me, won't say who it goes on for years, though. I can't tell ya how many times I ended up at the court house, I was my own attorney, but it didn't stop with winning a protective order for ____, it didn't stop till the "gang"" moved on to "greener pastures.
I was friendless, even by the victims, who were her/their target- been around that block so many times, HERMIT, is me, I swear even their targets hated me- I didn't give up, the commissioner at the court house where I went so many times, even had me help others with their domestic problems, your gonna be here all day again and take up my time Mrs. ___. You can get your pen out and help these "white" folks while waiting.
I've had some legal training but am not an attorney, he said, you'll do.
It took years Renee, years and this is after I won,.....In the meantime, I had to help leather-jacketed teens and young men fill out forms, when I was frantic at time-that person almost strangled me to death, when I came to the rescue of ____. YEARS, of no mercy.
You let one of them tell me I am wasting their time. Not a problem we will see if media can waste their time.
I have had ppo out before and I never had any problems so i don't know what to tell ya. I wish i had some answers for ya.
My county is real good with ppos and following out on things.
I would just keep calling the cops and her Probation Officer.
There is nothing stopping you from filing a court ordered protection again this nut case. By the way, unless you are licensed professional, you can not call the person any names, or diagnosis.... it can be viewed as slander. (FYI)
All you have to do is believe you are in harms way with this person to file. That is all.
How to Trace a Harassing Phone Call From a Private Number
Also, you might talk to your phone service provider about getting your number changed due to harassment. Some providers will change your number free of charge if phone harassment is the reason for the change.
I guess a CPO is only as effective as the local police want to make it. My buddy's ex-wife has a women's shelter backing her, and she files false charges against him all the time. Every time she does, he is picked up by the police for "questioning" (which seems to mean sitting in a holding cell until his family can raise bail money) regardless of evidence or who has jurisdiction, etc.
The egg donor about whom you are writing should be in jail ten times over, considering the gung-ho way the legal authorities in my area have gone after my buddy. I suspect the difference may be because she's a woman.
Unfortunately, Illinois, like Ohio, does not seem to have much in the way of Men's Rights advocation, or at least, I can't find anything online except for a few lawyers who specialize in father's rights. I hope and pray you have better luck than my buddy has had.
The thing is this shouldn't even be about men's rights or woman's rights but a child's rights.
You are right. It's about the child. It's stupid that society ignores the rights of kids. There are women's rights organizations all over the nation, and a few areas have men's rights organizations, but all kids have is a badly flawed government organization that fails them as often as it helps (sometimes more), because kids can't form their own rights groups.
Phone harassment should get the perp locked up regardless of who is the perp and who is the victim. She is in violation of the protection order, and therefore is in contempt of court. That's what they have been using to go after my buddy on numerous occasions, and it never fails to get the police to his doorstep, totally sans evidence. It should work the same way against the egg donor. She should not be able to get away with stalk your family. The only reason that she is able is that she is a woman. Were the roles reversed, there would have been an arrest.
I am so sorry that you are having such a rough time. I know what you mean about feeling like everything is going wrong. Hope it gets better soon.
I had hoped your ordeal would be over once the adoption was final. She just continues to prove that she does not care about James. I believe she will end up back in jail but until then your family should not have to put up with this harassment.
I hope things get better for you. I doubt calling the media, contacting newspapers would work in your favor, as it'll just make the Parole Officer and others who are "supposed" to be helping you look very bad -- and you need to look very good to them, if you're to get anywhere.
Is an Order of Protection the same as a Restraining Order, which is what we have in Connecticut and no, they don't work either, but in the meantime, why can't YOU file one for harassment? With two of them, it'll look a lot worse for her and a bit better for you and might help the people that are supposed to be doing the actual protecting, DO something.
True - You cannot call her names, like nut case, that's also harassment, etc's, while trying to keep your good reputation intact, keep that in mind - and another one -- the phone carrier that you're using, whoever they are, when a case like this - where an order of protection is being violated - they generally will put a trace on your phone, for free, no need to change numbers...they'll do it for you. Why? Because they don't want to end up in the middle of it, OR lose you as a customer, and yes, I had to do that at one time, long ago - they did it for nothing, no charge.
Hugs, HUGE Hugs,
Marilyn
I don't think they can put tracers on cell phones maybe so.
*He walked right through that restraining order and put her in intensive care.*
I am so sorry for you. Yes, this should be the happiest time of your life and you are being bogged down with all the red-tape.