Moments in Time, One year has come and gone since the death of My Husband....

Dealing still with the Death of my husband and best friend....

The experience of being married to this man seemed hardly worth telling anyone at the time. But now, one Year later, it stands above any other memory I have.

The Gift I would give would be love...It lasts forever and never grows dull.  It can be given to anyone that you like.  John Brandon

Give Thanks, over and over again. Recongnize the rarity and beauty of the Gift. Appreciate it. Store the Moments in your memory.

Myths about Grief

1.  Grief is a bad thing.

2.  All people grieve in the same way.

3.  You should not be angry about a loss.

4.  You should keep busy and try to think about only pleasent things

5.  Over time, you will get over the loss

6.  You must be strong and try to keep your feelings under control.

7.  It is best not to focus on or talk about lost

8.  When grief is resolved, it never comes up again.

9.  Children grieve like adults.

10.  If you have a stron faith, the grief will not be as intense.

How to help me as I grieve

1.  Don't avoid me.

2. Send me a Card....even as time goes on.

3. Understand that I need to be alone sometimes.

4. Please don't give advice, it doesn't help

5. Make concrete offers to help with yard work, errands, etc.

6.  Coordinate with others to bring food I can eat.

7. Don't take over for me.  I need to do some things myself

8. Give me time, don't expect too much too soon

9. Listen to the story of the loss...sometimes over and over

10. Don't be surprised if I do something unexpected.

11. Understand that I may feel guilt or anger at times

12. Check in on me as time goes on

13. Remember my loved one with me.

14. Don't try and fix me

15. Accept my Silence.

Here is a link to the story that I wrote on his Birthday last year....have a read....

http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977458504