We all know people have the ability to be vile and loathsome but I try to give everyone the benefit of doubt. Even after having been wronged by someone I still opt to give them a chance to redeem themselves. Where do we draw the line? How many chances should we be willing to give? For me the line is crossed when a person sets out to inflict intentional harm on someone out of spite or vengeance. This holds especially true if the victim happens to be a young child, especially your own grandson.
Several weeks ago I wrote about a situation involving my daughter and her now ex boyfriend. View previous article here. The situation involved physical abuse. My daughter, Brandie, and her son Jr had been living with the boyfriend in his mother’s apartment. The boyfriend is Jr’s father. Since K was arrested it was obvious that Brandie and Jr were no longer welcome in the apartment. They moved into my house with little more than the clothes on their back. Brandie arrived at the courthouse the Monday following the arrest to discover that K’s mother, Sue had filed a motion to obtain custody of Jr. The judge did not see any reason why Brandie should not have custody. During the proceedings we discovered that K was now being held without bail due to violating his probation. Until that point my daughter had been unaware that he was still on probation. Sue was very upset over her son being in jail. Brandie asked her when she could pick up her and Jr’s stuff. The judge issued a restraining order against K and included an order allowing my daughter to pick up her items. Sue told the judge that everything could be picked up on Wednesday. Tuesday morning my daughter was served with a restraining order preventing her from going on the property where Sue lives. On the Wednesday my daughter arrived with a police escort and Sue refused her entrance. My son was present and she reluctantly allowed him to take a few things that she handed over. She said the rest would have to be gotten at another time. Even though the judge had assured Brandie she could retrieve her items the officers refused to follow the orders as written. The following week there is another court hearing in which the restraining order was extended for a year. K is still in jail and will be there until his case is heard. Brandie explained that she still had not gotten back her property. The few items that were given to my son were bags of clothing that Jr had outgrown. Sue knew that those bags had been set aside to go to charity. The judge once again writes on the new order that my daughter is allowed to pick up her items. Meanwhile we get a phone call from one of K’s sisters telling us that Sue had dumped all of their stuff in the locked backyard on the previous Wednesday. These items were left outside with no protection during a week in which it rained almost every day. When Brandie arrived at Sue’s house with the officers Sue let her onto the property and informed her that she needed to clear out the backyard. My daughter was devastated to find both her and Jr’s clothing ruined. Additionally Sue had thrown in the yard bags of stuffed animals that were Jr’s from when he was a baby. Brandie refused to clean the yard. The officers argued with her and insisted that she had to remove all the debris from the yard. My daughter told Sue to take her to court. The woman still has other items that belong to my daughter and grandson. My daughter is trying to go through small claims court to get the items back. I feel it’s a worthless cause but understand why Brandie feels the need to pursue this.
It is difficult for Brandie and I to understand how the police department is allowing her to be victimized a second time. Recently the police department had some of its force cut. We believe this is their way of retaliating against the city. This is a protest to prove that with the cuts they can no longer do their job. None of this is either my daughter or Jr’s fault. This also does not excuse Sue from her behavior and she should be held accountable for her actions. It is beyond my scope of comprehension to understand how a grandmother can hurt her grandson in this manner. Maybe I am wrong to judge her so harshly perhaps others would have acted similarly. I know I am not capable of hurting any child in this manner especially not my own grandson.
Bedding and clothing that was left out in the rain.
Stuffed animals, clothing and toys that were destroyed.