Relapse Prevention

The inability to defer or wait for a desire is a common thread in any unhealthy behavior.

You know, it is so weird that you wrote about that today.... Addiction is such a horrible thing, it hurts the addict, and anyone they are close too. Drugs and alcohol make people think they feel better, here recently I have noticed that it seems with the economy there are more and more people turning to drugs, and losing EVERYTHING......I have a friend, and do not have a clue how to help them, they lost their jobs, and now they are fixing to lose their home, it is like they just don't care anymore, but when you get down, you have to get back up, I don't understand giving up and giving in to something that controls you!!!!
Good article for today, I think:)

In my experience with two alcoholics, they are both very different. One handles stress very well, the other can't handle it. And get this: the one who handles stress well drinks; the one who can't handle stress quit drinking 15 years ago.

yes is very hard to let go

I believe this is the same with all forms of addicts, I have one that isn't drug or alcohol but he lives for the moment as well. I thought the issue was solved however recently he started goign back. So it is right, the living in the moment is something that is a need but getting help for it is the first step.

The main thing that I have found is that if they do not want to quit, or have help.
Nothing can help.

This is true, except for very few exceptions.

My nephew does not seem to be one. My brother hopes he robs the wrong person and gets dried out in jail. It's been my experience that that seldom works.

sounds like an excellent candidate for meditative practice therapy

As an alcoholic--sober now for over 30 years--one of the big problems with quitting is the inability for the abuser to face the truth. One has lied to him/herself and those around him/her for so long that truth comes very hard, if at all. Therefore, if someone significant in the abuser's life supports all the lies, that person will continue abusing. It takes someone strong to stand up to the abuser and say, "I quit. I'll not support your lifestyle anymore. You choose which one will it be."
However the person in the support role must be willing to accept the fact that the abuser may choose to continue to abuse drugs or alcohol and give the support person up.

This is an excellent Article John, because it opens up pathways for discussion on a topic that is very destructive, but seldom discussed while it is in the process of tearing up lives.

There are some very good comments on this thread. I found Howard's comment to be on target ~ "one of the big problems with quitting is the inability for the abuser to face the truth. One has lied to him/herself and those around him/her for so long that truth comes very hard, if at all." ~ Howard C.

This is so very true with regard to "addictive" behaviors ~ This includes sexual addicts as well. They usually wake up one day to discover they have nothing and nobody around any more. No one wants to be bothered with them. And/or they wake up feeling so very bad about themselves that they can't stand it any more.

When a person gets sick and tired of being sick and tired, then they "CHANGE". Not until.

I can only speak about Alcohol Addiction, but I DO know that actually taking a drink is really the LAST step of a relapse. The relapse can start hours, days, weeks, or months prior to taking that drink. A recovering addict needs to develop a high degree of self awareness, and the only way I know of to do this is by actually working the 12 Steps which will lead the addict to an understanding of exactly who they are. Show me a relapse and I'll show you someone who worked the 12 Steps in a half assed fashion. It requires TOTAL commitment to sobriety, with EVERYTHING coming second to that. A sponsor will not keep you sober, a book won't keep you sober. Self awareness and a connection to a power you readily admit is greater than you is the only thing that can keep someone sober.

You could not have put this better.