TARGET! A Questionnaire for Those Targeted by Workplace Bullies

Whenever someone decided they wanted to play the workplace bully all the years I wasd on the air in radio, they had to deal with the 'Prima Donna'...ME! 'I' ruled the roost and I didn't play that game, so I didn't allow anyone else to. With me, any and all bullies met their match. That simply was not tolerated among our staff as long as I was on it.

Unfortunately our bully is the prima donna. Oh well!

Carolion- I'll email you my answers to these questions. But I will say here that I feel weak managers are a major contributor to bullying in the workplace.

I whole-heartedly agree - and then you have the phenomenon of the weak manager who controls by bullying.....

They are very insecure people at heart.

I am thankful for this article and would like to submit some stories. Health care is ripe with bullying and I have experienced it on so many levels in my 35 years as a nurse. When I get home today, I would like to share a few stories. I absolutely agree with EM JAY, weak management is a major contributor to this problem that in the greater scope causes a business so much turnover and poor productivity.

Whew, Karen - I know your stories are potent - I can feel them in the knotting up of my stomach.
I'm thinking you may have a major article or even series of your own on this topic.

I am allowing this post to EFT Works! because even though it's focus is not EFT, you have used EFT to releast the stress the workplace bullying has caused you. When you have a chance I hope you'll write an article about the use of EFT in this instance and how that worked for you.

Thanks and good luck with ending the dysfunction at your workplace.

PS. I messaged you my workplace bullying story. Thank you for opening this topic, it needs attention. When it involves one's job, one tends to suffer in silence.

My opinion is that if you witness bullying you are sharing in the abuse because it often feels like you may be next.

That's what the studies say, too - And it's very much the same with dysfunctional family bullying. The group may all get excited when "something's up," but part of that excitement is the fear-adrenaline connection with the "what about me? Will I be hurt next? How can I save my job?" thoughts. That's when the more fearful ones begin to either support the bully or pull away from the Target, or both.
It's a real test of integrity. And courage.

For those still suffering the trauma - even PTSD - from the "stuck" or "frozen" emotions of the shock of being targeted by a workplace bully - or even a "mob" (those less courageous co-workers who align themselves with the bully and isolate the Target) - I understand that this article may be causing you pain. It does me. For that reason I am using EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) to tap healing benefits for all who participate here.
May you be happy, may you be free, may you be truly connected with your authentic self, and may you benefit all beings.
BREATHE.

I left hospital work many years ago, the bullying and belittling behaviors were exhausting and I longed to have a a way to serve others and also to feel safe. I found that Home Health gave me a solitude and a distance from that. In 2003 I had an offer to work in the surgical department at a St. hospital in Tacoma WA and I felt it would be good to get off the road. My period of training was brisk and challenging and one month into the job I was working in an area off the surgical suites called Pre-Induction. It was a site where emergent surgical patients would be monitored until the surgery was open to their case. I had just arrived and found that I had 4 patients to care for and one was a teen boy, parents at his bedside, who was nervous as heck. A surgeon entered the room and barked "Where are my xrays?" I checked the desk and the cart and told him that I did not find them but that I would call XRay to get them. He flew into a rage, walking toward me shaking his fist. I kept backing up but I could not match his momentum and though I found shelter behind the desk, he kept yelling and shaking his fist..."You will never do this to me again, You have done this before and you will never do this to me again!" I said sheepishly and in effort to bring some reality to the situation ( which his young patient was watching in horror)" I said "Sir, I have never met you before and I do not know what you are trying to say but I will get the XRays right away." He picked up a chart and threw it at me, hitting me in the chest. I began to shake and cry, he came at me behind the desk and shook his fist in my face. I absolutely froze, absolutely froze. Just before he turned and threw the door open so hard that it hit and bounced off the wall. The OR nurses all scattered. Not one came to my assistance I was alone and so very frightened until I looked over to see that doctor's patient laying on the cart and crying. His parents had hands over mouths and his father said "Oh nurse, I am so sorry. Are you OK?" I shook off my fear and came to their assistance. I could only imagine how frightening for them to think that this beastly behavior was from their surgeon. I soothed their hearts but so quickly the doctor came back. He had XRays and he threw them at me. They hit the desk and knocked over many items. I started backing up and backed out the door and told the first nurse I could find that I had to be excused and that she needed to find me a relief. She sheepishly said "We have all been through it, I have had scalpels thrown at me. I will get you some help" I waited back with the patient until my relief came and then with legs like mush, I went to the break room and just fell apart. My manager was called and she came in and asked me to tell her what had happened. Her response was to say "Well, if you can't handle it then maybe you should get out of nursing" I told her that I was frightened and ill and was going to use some sick hours to go home. The St.s had a policy of no tolerance for bullying but that was never enforced when the behavior was from a doctor. The next day, I called in sick and interestingly, a bouquet of flowers arrived at my home from the hospital administration with a note saying that they hoped I would feel better soon. Hummm.... when in history past or present does a hospital send flowers to a "sick" employee. When I did return, the nurses in my department met and we decided that in the future we would never abandon a co-worker who was being bullied. Several months later the opportunity to back that up rose. Another surgeon was screaming at the unit secretary. She was frozen in fear and he got closer and closer to her. I walked up and stood next to her, put my arm around her and we both stood there, no words just standing together. It seemed an eternity but finally, he just swore and walked away. These are just an handful of the many times I have been bullied and frightened. The last time it happened at St. Hospital in Gig Harbor WA, I decided to leave hospital nursing and return to a more solitary practice back in Home Health. After 35 years of this, I am weary of bullying doctors and hospital staff. I love serving patients but find that it is just as important to take good care of myself. PTSD, yes I believe so but I also know that I have traveled an incredible journey and have learned so much.

I know my ex-husband the MD must have been bullied severely during his med school surgery rotation. He went inside himself - but some part of him was stolen and never returned. He was no longer the person I'd married. Over the years....but that's another story. Suffice it to say that med school "boot camp" can have horrendous effects.
There are so many, many, many nurses and other healthcare workers who suffer as you have - and then become the victims of the system in another way, as their health is compromised and they find themselves paying out the wazoo for medicines to try to regain lost health, when really there needs to be some way to stop the bullying and restore the dignity of the workers.

At this point I am doing EFT tapping for the benefit of you, the patients and relatives, the other nurses, the receptionist, and the surgeons. I'm using this set of healing words to send the energy into the situation - even though it's "in the past" it is still going on inside all these people - and we want to get the energy of the situation removed and transformed.
"May you be happy; may you be free; may you be truly connected with your authentic self; may you benefit all beings."

Your words are health and growth Carolion.

Thanks for an informative and helpful article. The answer is yes, and the bully was both helpful and hurtful. Thankfully, he is gone now.....

Did he just leave, or did you go through a complaint & investigation process?

He moved on to training for what he really wanted to do, and not associated with our jobs, thankfully.

I just want to say here - I've been receiving some heartbreaking stories of workplace bullying through my gather email. I'm saving them, offering energy healing distance work (EFT benefits), and may ask to use all or parts of the stories for a follow-up article (no names.)

i'd like 2 meet that prima donna u refer 2 carolion - i bet i'd give them a run 4 their money. I strongly dislike workplace bullies. i tend 2 have a zero tolerance 2ward that kind of behavior, & i've come up against some doozy's - they usually end up very stressed around me & choose 2 either change or not stick around. I view myself as progressive rather than aggressive, & i'll stick up 4 some1 if their in the right.