The Bird-Watcher

Comments: 42

Kushal Poddar Jul 25, 2009, 8:15am EDT

Wonderful observations and here you actually have rendered this poem a shape of neatness.
Good work.

http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977750203

reclaiming life

Mike Ellwood Jul 25, 2009, 2:19pm EDT

Thanks, Kushal.

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Ann M. (Site Scryer) Jul 25, 2009, 9:31am EDT

You definitely got inside the heads of the birds you describe! I'm glad the poem ends where it does.

Mike Ellwood Jul 25, 2009, 2:20pm EDT

Turns out I wasn't the most dedicated bird-watcher....

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Kathryn E. Jul 25, 2009, 2:15pm EDT

i love bird watching....such a sensitive poem...........

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Kathryn E. Jul 25, 2009, 2:15pm EDT

And yeah, cats...................................

Mike Ellwood Jul 25, 2009, 2:23pm EDT

Thanks....I nearly fell off my chair when I saw your icon.

Kathryn E. Jul 25, 2009, 7:25pm EDT

It IS creepy. We are distantly related. Oh yuck. Very very distant......

Boris G. Jul 26, 2009, 12:18am EDT

how distantly Kathryn? I think I do see some similarities in facial features!

Kathryn E. Jul 26, 2009, 12:22am EDT

Now that you mention it...

Back 400 years to 1620. Mayflower Ancestor.

But I am 100 percent mixed Brit, one quarter each quadrant. She might be similar, though her married last name is French.

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Kristina B. Jul 25, 2009, 2:25pm EDT

"Squirming, luscious tubes." eeewww........

Mike Ellwood Jul 25, 2009, 2:39pm EDT

Rich in protein. Mmmm

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Barbary Chaapel Jul 25, 2009, 3:04pm EDT

This is a poem I see in play daily. Perfectly witty, Mike - I love it!

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Patti M. Jul 25, 2009, 3:36pm EDT

This is what happens around here. Our cat Indy may be 17 years old but she can still mouse and catch those birds. I tip my hat to you my friend.

Mike Ellwood Jul 25, 2009, 3:48pm EDT

Thanks, Barbary and Patti. Nature, red in tooth and claw....

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Granny Janny H. Jul 25, 2009, 5:16pm EDT

I enjoyed the humor at the end.

Mike Ellwood Jul 26, 2009, 1:52pm EDT

Dark humor....if you're a blackbird.

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Atticus *. Jul 25, 2009, 5:19pm EDT

Mike your new poem is a joy to read. I love to watch the birds outside my window (and elsewhere). You have really captured their self-assured silliness. The ending is of course, wonderful and gives the sense of the impending frenzied scattering only a moment away. I love the title and how the full meaning is only revealed in the last line. Quite fun and witty.

Mike Ellwood Jul 26, 2009, 1:53pm EDT

Thanks Atticus*.

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Lewis (taking over Gather) K. Jul 25, 2009, 7:59pm EDT

Great write. I enjoyed the ending. Left to my merciless imagination...

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Beth G. Jul 25, 2009, 8:17pm EDT

LOL I loved the last line, I can only begin to imagine what happened next.

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Karen F. Jul 26, 2009, 3:38am EDT

Hungry cat...or just a game?

Mike Ellwood Jul 26, 2009, 1:55pm EDT

Thanks, Lewis, Beth and Karen. I think the cat might have had a bell on its collar. I hope so.

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Angela A. Jul 26, 2009, 1:40pm EDT

Astounding!
Thanks for posting to my group, Anythingwriting

Mike Ellwood Jul 26, 2009, 1:55pm EDT

Thanks, Angela.

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John Philipp Jul 26, 2009, 4:24pm EDT

I enjoyed that, Mike.

The cat was a great way to end.

Mike Ellwood Jul 27, 2009, 1:59pm EDT

Thought it might amuse you, John.

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Marilyn is looking for whatever there is. N. Jul 26, 2009, 9:28pm EDT

Nice, Mike!
I so miss feeding the birds as where we live, we kept getting reported to management (also miss having a home/house), so after many letters from the office, the bird feeding on our end has stopped. ARGH!

Marilyn

Mike Ellwood Jul 27, 2009, 2:03pm EDT

That's mean. It's good to put seed out, but I must say there was a woman down our street who used to attract sea-gulls by putting out old bread. I wouldn't encourage that.

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Adrian Eve Revenaugh Jul 27, 2009, 12:04am EDT

This is such a wonderful effort Mike. I read your introduction to 'The Bird Watcher" at Honest Poetry Critique's first bi-monthly feature article. Your use of poetic form flows so naturally here that you've really caught my interest as I attempt to learn more about writing by Gathering about.

I'm also a watcher of the backyard dramas and interactions between those who flutter, scurry and creep in. Your poem is a kick sir and can be used as a larger frame for all manner of things.

Thanks

Mike Ellwood Jul 27, 2009, 2:04pm EDT

Thanks for such a positive comment. I appreciate it.

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Sandi S. Jul 27, 2009, 9:08am EDT

A wonderful expression of nature, in all its glory. Yeah, let's not think about what the cat will do next! ;-)

Mike Ellwood Jul 27, 2009, 2:04pm EDT

Thanks, Sandi.

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Jennifer Lee Jul 27, 2009, 2:32pm EDT

Suspense and nature, two of my favorite things. Great sonnet, Mike! Thank you.

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Sheila Deeth Jul 28, 2009, 9:18pm EDT

So delightful and what a surprise at the end. Not the watcher I was imagining.

Mike Ellwood Jul 31, 2009, 4:02am EDT

Hi Sheila. I imagine the birds of the US are subtly different from our European varieties.

Sheila Deeth Aug 7, 2009, 12:14am EDT

True, and sometimes not so subtly. The only connection between the US robin and the UK one is the color, and even that's not the same.

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JOHN BECK Jul 30, 2009, 7:57pm EDT

Well done. We don't have magpies, but it is fun to watch the ground feeders, including pheasants and wild turkeys, pick up the seeds scattered by the sparrows and finches. I can do without the cat, but it's a great twist. Fine poetry indeed.

Mike Ellwood Jul 31, 2009, 4:00am EDT

Thanks for the comment.
Do you have blackbirds? They are great singers. Very territorial. Paul McCartney's song begins with its voice.
Magpies are corvine and although quite attractive have an unpleasant call and inspire fear in other birds because they take their eggs and even chicks.

JOHN BECK Jul 31, 2009, 7:41am EDT

Our most prominent blackbird is the redwing blackbird, especially in our rural location.

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Susan Budig Aug 3, 2009, 1:03am EDT

The inclusion of We've come to this, moves this into poetic form and away from a journaling or logging of a birdwatcher. The line break ending with nip is excellent.

I don't care for One might assume. And I think it would be more delicious ending with A cat. (and nothing more need be written)

Mike Ellwood Aug 7, 2009, 4:07pm EDT

Thanks for your constructive input. In response I've bracketed the final sentence. It is, of course a sonnet, and I wanted to stay true to the form, and I think the last couplet is quite effective.
Perhaps 'One might assume' works better in England where it might carry an ironic bag. In my mind was a defence against a possible charge of anthropomorphism.
And you're quite correct about the 'logging' element of the poem. I've written a few about my garden and they are almost like diary entries for me in that they recapture specific impressions.

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The Bird-Watcher

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