by Lillith (it's a secret!)
Member since:
May 15, 2009

Missing my life

July 22, 2009 11:57 AM UTC (Updated: July 22, 2009 12:10 PM UTC)
views: 0 | comments: 37

I'm in a group home currently & I really miss seeing my son every day.

I miss having the freedoms that most Americans take for granted.

The reason I'm committed is stupid; I went off my medications because I couldn't afford them. And now I've been in hospitals & a group home since October of '08.

This totally sucks & there's not a thing I can do about it.

Please:  if you need psychiatric meds, don't go off of them for any reason. Or you could end up like me.

Comments: 37

♥¤ J K¤ ♥ Jul 22, 2009, 12:03pm UTC
I can't imagine how difficult it is right now but try to focus on the positives and getting the help you need to get your life back on track!
Kevin E. Jul 22, 2009, 12:04pm UTC
My heart goes out to you. Your advice is sobering and wise. Take care of you!
Winona (the crazy rat lady) Jul 22, 2009, 12:06pm UTC
Sounds like a horrible situation.
Pam S. Jul 22, 2009, 12:39pm UTC
I am so sorry this happened to you.
Ruthi C. Jul 22, 2009, 12:42pm UTC
Hang in there Gwen...blessings & a bit o' sunshine to you and to your son.
JustCallMeRabbit ~Mr. Snow~ Jul 22, 2009, 1:02pm UTC
Gwen, I have a friend that just went through this. She eventually came back home and her son took on the chore of being her caregiver. Now the son gets paid once a month by the state because it saves them money. She keeps up with meds as prescribed(she is a vietnam war veteran). Anyhows, keep your chin up and I hope you are free again soon. :)
CyberGwen ! Jul 22, 2009, 1:12pm UTC
Aw hon, how much longer do you have to stay? I have gone off of my meds many times and none of them were pretty. For me, it is usually because they work so well that I think that I don't need them anymore, so I stop. DOH, not a good idea.

I hope that you are reunited soon with your son 24/7.
Lillith (it's a secret!) Jul 28, 2009, 2:14pm UTC
thank you. :) i'm committed till January.
joe r. Jul 22, 2009, 1:24pm UTC
Hey Gwen, I know it hurts and you feel as if you've disappointed everyone you've ever cared for. Take a look at everyone with you and watch the ones who seem to be putting themself's back together. Be aggressive with the staff and pull every thing they know about your condition. I've been inside a few times myself so you've got company. Use us when you need to, that's why we're here. If you'd like we'll even say a prayer.
Fran S. Jul 22, 2009, 1:33pm UTC
please try to keep a positive outlook, i know its difficult, but you are strong - things will get better for you.... you are trying to solve the difficulties, and that will make all the difference.... hopefully very soon these days will be but a memory to you
d d. Jul 22, 2009, 1:44pm UTC
You've had a lot of time to reflect. To make a better life for yourself and your son is a good goal to shoot for. Sending you positive thoughts to guide you.
Rose Hill Jul 22, 2009, 1:44pm UTC
Gwen - you didn't "end up" yet. Look at your current situation as temporary, because that is what it should be - temporary.

Mak a list of what you need to do to get out. Start working on that list and take any help you can get from anyone.

Find out what it will take for you to get back into the good life and pursue it with baby steps. That is how anything in life is accomplished - take back your life - a little at a time!

I've never been in your situation, but I've been in plenty of tough situations and it is a tough road back. Once you made it back this time - just hang on for dear life, because that is what it is - your sweet life - independance and freedom.
Karen D. Aug 1, 2009, 1:48pm UTC
Amen Rose.
The Red Headed Witch of Gather G. Jul 22, 2009, 2:00pm UTC
*hugs*
Mel R. Jul 22, 2009, 2:07pm UTC
I'm on crazy meds, too. Fortunately, I know about prescription assistance programs that give you free meds if you can't afford yours from the pharmaceutical companies. I was getting free meds before I was approved for Medicaid. All I have to do is reapply if I need to, which I probably will after my fiance finishes serving and goes off of Tricare, which covers pre-existing conditions. I'm very grateful for that. -hugs-
Thomas Millington Jul 22, 2009, 2:31pm UTC
I am so sorry to hear that this has happened to you. Did you try contacting the manufacturer of the meds? They may supply them to you free or at a reduced price. That worked for me so I know some manufacturers will do that for low income customers.
Randi Burnham-Brown Jul 22, 2009, 4:04pm UTC
This is sad. In America this should never happen. If there is a need for meds. and you can't get them what are you suppose to do. As was already mentioned above check out the pharmacy and find out if these companies that make them can help.
I am a Christian and I believe in prayer so I will pray for you.
Lillith (it's a secret!) Jul 28, 2009, 2:36pm UTC
my sentiments exactly: this should never happen in a free country. thank you for your kind words.
Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Jul 22, 2009, 5:11pm UTC
Rose gave sage advice. You can take the reigns back on your life, Gwen.
Ed Da Head Toker Jul 22, 2009, 5:17pm UTC
Sorry that you had to learn it the hard way Gwen. Hopefully you can work your way out about of there.
Leo Lemmer Jul 22, 2009, 5:36pm UTC
Tragic! I am so sorry you have to go through this.
Howard b. Jul 23, 2009, 12:50am UTC
Gwen ,I hope things work out for you annd your son real soon. Prayers and hugs go out to you.
Jan S. Jul 23, 2009, 1:17am UTC
I will pray for you. Surely, there will be light, freedom and blessings for you eventually.
Thanks for posting to Fugitives from Ignorance, Conformity, and Peer Pressure
X Z. Jul 23, 2009, 4:45am UTC
Oh wow I'm sorry to hear that. What a frustrating situation. Well I hope things go back to normal as soon as possible!
Leah A. Jul 29, 2009, 3:47pm UTC
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Not seeing your son every day has got to be really tough, especially with everything else going on in your life. I hope you get to see him soon.
Gwen
I'm so sorry, you're right - nobody should have to not take meds due to lack of insurance and I don't have any insurance, so I do know what I'm talking about. You're there, FOR NOW - not forever...till you get out and have your real life back and hopefully after that too, we're all here for you.
Gentle Hugs, - Prayers if you need/want them...

Marilyn
Effervescent Mystique Jul 30, 2009, 3:21am UTC
that's very troubling, i hope things work out for you
Debra H. Jul 30, 2009, 6:59pm UTC
Sorry to hear you are going through so much. Big Hugs
Esther IS Flesh and Blood S. Jul 31, 2009, 8:06am UTC
Oh my. I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I know what it is like to go off of meds too unfortunately. Fortunately I never had to be committed and instead chose to commit myself. All I needed was to get regulated on my meds again and with good psychotherapy and groups I was back out in no time.

I will be praying for you and sending you positive thoughts and energy. Should you ever need to talk or share please do not hesitate to contact me through private email. I am here for you should you need me.

God bless.
Lillith (it's a secret!) Aug 1, 2009, 12:15pm UTC
Thank you! I appreciate the kind words. :)
April H. Jul 31, 2009, 1:38pm UTC
So sorry, I hope things start looking up soon! Sounds like Rose had some great advice!
Karen D. Aug 1, 2009, 1:47pm UTC
Gwen, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I'm sure that you are taking pro-active care of yourself now and my wish for you is that you reclaim your life once again. Hugs to you and keep us all posted here about your progress.
George Shaw Aug 1, 2009, 3:22pm UTC
Gwen, hang in there, and keep your eye on the release date. Be ready to stay in command of your life when that day comes. Spend some time each day concentrating on how you will be in control after that and how you will deal with it.
Hugs and best wishes.

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