The road was little more than a narrow dirt track through the jungle. The jungle was slowly reclaiming it. The broad leaves, wet from a morning shower, dripped down over weed covered gravel. It was just another forgotten trail leading off the main road that circled the sleepy volcanic island.
A lone man pushed his way through the overgrown path working his way slowly down a path he hadn't seen in twenty years. He had one purpose in mind, to reach the sea. The island was fairly round with a deep harbor carved out of one side and a circle of coral protecting the sandy beaches that lined the rocky shores.
The man was on the opposite side of the island, his goal, a weathered old house sitting on a bluff above a smaller inlet. He could smell the salt on the air, a fragrance that washed the harsh chemical smells of institutional living from his very soul.
He breathed deeply of the fresh moist air. The morning shower had washed the air and soon the sun would heat up the soil and draw that moisture back to only dump it again in a heavy afternoon rain. He couldn't wait to feel the heavy rain on his sun starved skin.
The man was tall, lanky, underweight. His skin was pale from being indoors most of the last twenty years. He labored from the exertion he wasn't use to and hungered for manual labor to build his work starved muscles. His hair was dark brown and long, laying over his shoulders. His brown eyes flashed with emotion as he took in the sad decay of what once was his home. He was back and determined to remake what was left of his life.
He made it to the end of the trail and the jungle opened up to weed choked clearing. Here the jungle had also started to reclaim. Trees encroached toward a dilapidated low-built cabin nestled near the edge of the cliff. The wooden porch, that had once circled the cabin was rotted and caved in in several places. Vines climbed the log walls and hid most the cabin from view. It was a sad sight, testimony of the long years of neglect.
The man walked around the building lovingly touching worm eaten railings and carefully climbed sagging steps to the door. It would all have to go. The whole porch was a loss, but he had expected no less. Twenty years was a longtime without care. He should know.
The insides had faired better. The doors had held and no animals had gotten inside. That was testament to the strong walls and doors he had build with his own hands. The furniture was sheet covered and looked like ghosts waiting for somebody to haunt.
He retreated from the house and strolled determinedly to the edge of the bluff. Looking out over the small bay the intruded ever so slightly inland. A white pristine sandy beach lined the shore. The waves slapped lightly at the shore in opposition to the turbulence that crashed in his blood.
He traced the path cut down the cliff to the beach. He slowly stolid along the soft wet sand stepping over wads of seaweed and piles of drift wood. The driftwood would come in handy for his craft. He finally reached a natural jetty reaching out into the sea. during his walk the sky had changed from warm sun to cool clouds. They roiled in the sky rushing to meet him as he made his way out to the end of the rocky protrusion. The wind stepped up and the once soft slapping waves were now white-capped and angry. It was as if the very sea knew there was an interloper on its land and was trying to wash him away.
By the time the man made it to the end stinging rain was lashing his skin. It felt good to feel it pummeling his body. He relished the sting, the sensation of nature touching him. He had hungered to feel the rain, sun and just plain nature on his body.
He lift his head to stare the storm in its face. He shook his fist at it daring it to try and chase him away. He had been taken away once but now he was back and not even the fury of nature itself would get rid of him this time.


Comments: 29
Thanks for posting to my group, Anythingwriting
'He could smell the salt on the air, a fragrance that washed the harsh chemical smells of institutional living from his very soul.'
This element of your presentation got my senses jumpin' up and down doing cartwhells! So far only Kurt Vonnegut, Issac Asimov, and authors of that calibre, have been able to unleash such responses from my hardened and finicky perception sensors.
Bigtime Bravo to YOU Sheryl, I must off to work now but I know what I'll be reading all this week.
That'll be YOU Sweetie, all the way YOU!!!
Eerily so, in fact, but for sure you are more prolific and consistant. For instance, I still type with one or two thumbs, which is completely crazy, considering I can melt the hardest of hearts with a 6 or 12 string guitar.
Anyway, I dare say this: If you read my Huntress [about a Doe who needs to end the murderous activities of a hard-drinking hunter] or my Another Full Circle or Buddy's Tale, you will feel at times as if you are reading your own earlier, less polished work.
Yes, my self promotion knows no shame!!
ps yuk yukkle!
Thanks, Sheryl.
You are a completist [sp?] in your chapter construction. You have introduced your main character and you have set the stage perfectly by letting the character make his goals known; and his goals, rendered both interesting and very compelling, have been set forth with the many challenges that must be addressed and overcome in order to satisfy this man's True Nature.
Now I'm going to offer some suggestions through private mail, in fact I sent some already; for I am not here only to express my admiration, and my enjoyment at meeting a true Writer; I am also here to dig deep inside YOUR True Nature, and do my small part to help you become the best writer you can possibly be!
I am a harsh critic; be forewarned, the more I love your work the more you are going to want to tell me to GO AWAY!
I hope that does not happen! And next, I must read some of your fully edited, finished work.
Please direct me to some ASAP!!!!
ps You've gotten me VERY excited, I LOVE YOUR SPIRIT AND MIND...how to put this...
TONS!!
"'He could smell the salt on the air, a fragrance that washed the harsh chemical smells of institutional living from his very soul."
Good Job!
One night in the early 70's, just after my April Fool's Day fire, I was at a 7-11 store and the fellow in line ahead of me was buying lots of beer to take on a hunting trip. He was yammering on about hunting deer and he was pretty stoned, and I suddenly felt a need to confront his BS.
'Hunting and drinking booze is a bad combo. You guys get drunk and end up injuring your victims, so they suffer and die slowly. Either hunt or drink, don't mix the two, and if you're not respecting the animals you have no right to hunt at all".
The guy got hard but he was not my kind of tough, and I cheerfully told him I would be happy to knock him into last week, which I was sometimes compelled to offer when, in my younger daze, I met big bad idiot cowards who get stupid when drinking, or who bully and hurt weaker folks.
I was very angry about this, so I determined to write a story that somehow let the deer win. Which turned out to be not an easy task, for the challenge was to devise a method or plan that transformed the Hunted, to the Hunter.
This took me about 15 years, just thinking and jotting down ideas, and then it hit me, while I was reading about wilderness life, and researching the known episodes of deer attacks against humans, deer mating and family life, deer vs. dog, deer vs. wolf, deer living in bear country...
Bears. Bears are very capable of killing humans, I reflected, so there is my assassin.
So then my challenge was to devise a bit of Poetic Justice; and of course, I needed to give my Heroine [the Doe] the means to rise above her True Nature.
THEN I needed to learn some writing craft, which I'm working on now; but I am content with the finished stories I have completed since 1998, the first being 'Huntress'.
Anyhoo, it was worth the time and effort, just to be able to write, 'I am Woman! I BELONG HERE! Love me or Kiss My ASS!"
I'll email you soon!
I must redo that post entirely!!
I must say also, that while reading, I've equated his struggle clearing the pathways and such with my own personal struggles of my life, my spirit. I guess it's just a poetic parallel I've read into your story.
I'm glad Angela sent me here :-)