Commercials are a necessary evil; at their best, they provide basic information about their sponsor company's product and present you with a good reason to buy it over competitors. At their worst, they are insipid irritations that get repetitive quickly. So why aren't more commercials focused around informing the customer? This week, we're going to focus on The Commercialist Agenda.
Everybody has an agenda, of course, and marketers are no different. Every day, they have to come up with new ways to promote their product and make you forget about their competitors. Sometimes, it's as easy as showing the value of their products. Other times, though, they have to get your attention in some other way. Here are some of the most common tricks -- can you recognize them all?
Loud and Clear
One might think that it would be relatively easy to ensure that channels maintain a reasonably consistent volume -- but you've probably encountered this before. You're watching a movie or a late-night show, and you find yourself turning the volume up. You might consider whether you need a hearing aid, but the previous show didn't seem as quiet. Then the first commercial comes on, and sounds twice as loud as the show you were watching. Congratulations, you've heard the advertising message Loud and Clear.
Why do they do it? Many people leave their televisions running while performing other activities -- cooking dinner, exercising, reading, using Gather, or otherwise not paying full attention to what's on. A loud message can forcibly reclaim your attention, ensuring that more people notice the advertisement.
Why shouldn't they do it? If you've ever seen this in action, chances are you were not pleasantly surprised -- especially if you note that your television shows are suspiciously muted while the commercials always blare through loud and clear. Anyone who's ever had to turn down a television set hastily to avoid deafening their household has probably not developed any goodwill towards the product thus advertised.
Us Versus Them
Microsoft versus Apple. Playstation 3 versus XBox 360 versus Wii. Pepsi versus Coke. Cable versus satellite. Democrat versus Republican. Us versus Them is a marketing tactic that works as well in sales as it does in politics - an organized ploy to draw the commercial-watcher into a sense of community that can best be supported by buying into whatever is being sold at the time.
Why do they do it? Humans, try as they might, are organized towards the forming of cliques and groups. This inherent survival instinct is with us from birth, telling us to seek out those of us who are similar and to resist those of us who are different. The same internal conformity that ensures that most people are law-abiding citizens instead of serial killers can be a powerful manipulator, and therefore a powerful way to separate a fool from their money.
Why shouldn't they do it? A mentality of 'us versus them' thrives on alienation - and if you're on the 'them' side of that alienation, chances are good you're going to feel personally slighted. The same 'us versus them' mentality that can keep us all obeying the same laws can also marginalize and criminalize that which is unpopular or unique. The same mental function that allows us to conform to agreed-upon patterns of etiquette also gears us towards intolerance and hatred. And when a sufficient fan base develops an 'us versus them' community, they can dissuade casual interest and thus ultimately damage sales, making it a risky prospect for any market where repeat business is infrequent.
Ridicule and Scorn
If you can't beat them on value, and you can't beat them on quality, beat them by belittling them. This is the attitude held by marketers, politicians, talk show hosts, and Internet drama jockeys the world over, and the technique is devastatingly simple - to make your viewpoint look good by making your opponents look ridiculous in comparison.
Why do they do it? As we've mentioned, we tend to form groups according to our interests, and marginalize that which we disagree with. Geico implying that only overcultured Neanderthals would be upset at their insurance products; Alltel implying that other phone carriers are unpleasant-looking, nerdy, and awkward; iMac commercials in which PCs are depicted as stodgy and their faults put to the forefront; political commentators that call their opponents 'sheeple' or 'elitists'; all of these are classic examples of ridicule and scorn in advertising.
Why shouldn't they do it? Simply put, insulting the people who are not already your customers is the wrong way to attract their business. While this attitude works well on the undecided, it can also alienate potential customers and make them transfer their dislike of the commercials to dislike of the people who use the advertised products.
But If You Act Now
Wait, there's more! This commercial is special, because if you call the number or go to the website or take action right away, you'll receive an extra gift -- twice as many products, or an unrelated object, or an object that probably should've been included in the first place. All you need to do is call now!
Why do they do it? This relies on another basic instinct -- our desire to get the most for the least. While in times long past this might have meant focusing on hunting deer instead of rabbits, now this is the impulse that pushes us towards coupon clipping and thrifty spending -- and a clever marketer can take advantage of this to offer us deceptive deals that sound better than they are and making retail prices sound like fantastic bargains.
Why shouldn't they do it? Chances are, at least once in your life you've suffered from 'buyer's remorse' - an abrupt feeling of regret following a purchase - and when you think you're getting a great deal and find out later you've been swindled, you're going to come down with a pretty heavy case of buyer's remorse, and a desire to let others know how you got suckered. And nothing dissuades potential customers more quickly than bad publicity. Unless, of course, you follow the advice of marketers who say...
Any Publicity Is Good Publicity
If you're feeling marginalized and among the outs, you might take up the tack that any sort of attention you receive for your cause is a net positive. This is typically used to justify acts of general obnoxiousness under the banner of your personalized 'us versus them' philosophy. After all, if everyone has heard of you, surely you'll be successful, right?
Why do they do it? Because it works, sort of. Say what you will about them, you've probably heard of PETA and Scientology, in part due to the insane things they do to get attention. This is especially popular when marketing people, but many 'trendy' forms of advertising focus far more on pushing the name of the product than on explaining what the product actually does. After all, many products have received unexpected boosts in popularity after receiving negative publicity, right?
Why shouldn't they do it? While a good marketer can turn a negative publicity event into a net positive, there is a difference between salvaging a bad situation and profiting from a bad situation you created. The last thing you want to do is generate an 'us versus them' situation where you've gone out of your way to make yourself 'them', or to be the subject of ridicule -- that's only going to help your competitors and rivals.
Unverifiable Generalities
Let's face it: when you're done reading this article, you'll probably remember about half of it, and when you're in the middle of next week, you probably won't remember where you read the article or when, but you'll remember a few of the talking points you agree with. Marketers use this to their advantage by adding generalities to their commercials. "Top safety rating" sounds good, for instance, until you realize that there are only five safety ratings, and there are at least ten other cars that have a 'top safety rating'.
Why do they do it? 65% of you will forget that there was a single statistic in here that proves that people tend to forget statistics they disagree with. Seriously, though, you've probably noticed that whenever a new prescription drug comes out, you hear dozens of unverifiable generalities followed by a rapid string of all the unfortunate side effects that could happen, because chances are you will remember the part about what it cures and not the part about how it could kill you in the process. Similar tactics can be seen on any Internet message board, political debate, or talk radio station - a rapid barrage of statistics and facts that is artfully arranged to support a conclusion, even if it relies on overwhelming generalities.
Why shouldn't they do it? While unproven statements work just fine when picking an argument with someone, most people are starting to get savvy to this tactic when used to market products. The asterisk is becoming a warning sign of perilous territory ahead, the fine print is often known to contain clauses that invalidate the offer. $6.99 plus shipping and handling often means $14.99 total. And so on.
We can't really avoid commercials and advertisements. They fund our favorite sources of entertainment, and they grow more clever all the time. Advertisers are constantly searching for new ways to advertise to people - on the Web, on their phones, in the line at the checkout - and we're constantly searching for new ways to tune out their annoying drone. While you can't always avoid the advertisements, if you bear in mind the tactics advertisers use to override your thoughts, you can be prepared to face the Commercialist Agenda on your own terms.
Austin Cushing, Money Correspondent:
Austin's column, Common Cents, published twice monthly to Gather Essentials: Money, is focused on life below the poverty line and other topics that are of importance to those living paycheck to paycheck.
Austin Cushing is an eccentric writer, consultant, programmer, poet, photographer, and Microsoft-certified database administrator, currently working as an IT consultant. He writes from personal experience and personal opinion, and enjoys finding the humor in even the darkest aspects of the world. In addition to his column, he maintains Gather groups on a diverse range of topics, from gaming to political discourse, and manages a number of popular Gather groups.
You can find all of Austin's Common Cents columns at http://commoncents.gather.com. Keep up with Austin's other postings and Gather activity by joining his Gather network -- just click here and select the orange "Connect" button on the left-hand side of the page.
Food for Thought:
What is the most annoying commercial you've ever experienced? What about it annoyed you the most?
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Comments: 38
I usually mute the commercials. The most annoying ones were the Billy Mays shout-o-ramas. Why would anyone buy anything he yelled about? It was obnoxious.
One commercial that cracks me up is the one for Aciphex. Say the name out loud. It sounds like flatulence. What were they thinking?
Those drug commercials that list side effects such as swelling, infection, uncontrolled diarrhea... Don't you feel like grabbing the phone and ordering a case or two? Who doesn't want those wonderful sysmptoms?
Jan, I laugh like a school girl every time that Aciphex commercial comes on! 8)
Glad I'm not the only one who laughs at Aciphex. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. We who have an absurd sense of humor enjoy it more!
: )
You know what is amazing? All those incredible food ads that make everything so delicious are followed almost immediately by weight loss ads. It's a vicious cycle!
Strangest commercial strategy: interesting ads that leave me wondering what product they were talking about. How does the ad help sell a product if you don't know what they are selling, or can't remember it after the ad ends?
Most irritating: ads for prescription drugs. And, of course, the money spent to advertise drugs drives up the cost of said drugs, even for the people who actually need them.
The annoying head on commercial is really genious, because even though it irritates you, you will remember it. Thus the idea to get you to buy the product.
I find all your observations to be true. Excellent post!
Based on a half century of watching 'em, I submit that TV commercials haven't gotten worse nearly as fast as the so-called "programs" in between have!
Nice to be among "The Too Cool".
Love your cartoon face. Makes me want to attempt a little sketching again. But I contented myself by re-tracing your face with the the cursor - given that that's a hand it was fun. So if you felt your ear scratched that was me. :)
I hate that so much.
I can barely hear what's going on with the show but the commercials hurt my ears.
I wish they would stop doing that.
The worst are big Pharma's. MANY never say what they are used for, however, the side effects are a killer! Listen to them if you don't listen to any of the rest.
That may be their hope, but they didn't count on people like me... and other neurodiverse individuals, I would imagine - I remember the last thing said more clearly than the first, so putting those dire warnings at the end emphasizes them for me. Plus, they overshadow anything else the commercial has to say to such a degree that I'd rather be drawn and quartered than put on ANY of the drugs they advertise. I wish we could go back to those ads being illegal... it was better back then. Have you ever tried to explain to a 7 year old what Viagra is, why men use it, what kind of birth defects they're talking about if women handle it and WHY AN ERECTION SHOULD NOT LAST FOR HOURS??? If not, then you probably don't see why these commercials are SERIOUSLY not appropriate. But trust me. They're NOT.
If I had been a teacher, grading this well-written essay, it would have received an A+ for content, quality of material, and readability. Nicely organized. Kudos!
: )