by David W.
Member since:
February 16, 2006

DOWN TO THE SEA IN SHIPS; Genre shorties challenge Travel

July 16, 2009 01:48 PM EDT (Updated: July 16, 2009 02:19 PM EDT)
views: 62 | comments: 36

DOWN TO THE SEA IN SHIPS

 

One hundred words exactly

 

© 2009 by David Wainland

 

 We awoke to the sea slapping at our porthole, a calming effect until I remembered we were on the top deck of the Norwegian Dreamward. Suddenly the world came apart. A wine bucket clattered to the floor and our bed lurched in a stomach twisting way. Twenty-foot waves crashed alongside.

Our first day at sea trapped in a monsoon nightmare.

The ship turned into the wind, but the seas did not cooperate.

Soon we began begging for a helicopter or God to help us.

God won, two days later, we sailed into Cozumel and booked a flight.

I got airsick.

 

 

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Comments: 36

Angela A. Jul 16, 2009, 2:07pm EDT
I love the ending! From one harrowing adventure to the next. Soo cool!
Would you like to post this to Anythingwriting ?
I would love to see it there.
David W. Jul 16, 2009, 2:20pm EDT
Done and thank you
ha ha~and eeeek
Good one papabear~you rise to the challenge like creme to the top~ =D
Thanks for posting to GutterGirls~
JOHN BECK Jul 16, 2009, 2:31pm EDT
Great punchline!
Patricia J. Jul 16, 2009, 3:09pm EDT
Great ending, I love the whole story.
Kay M. Jul 16, 2009, 3:28pm EDT
Great writing David. I got seasick just reading it.
Lee P. Jul 16, 2009, 3:33pm EDT
Great story. I hope it was fiction.
David W. Jul 16, 2009, 3:37pm EDT
Hmmm, well, half and half.
penni d. Jul 16, 2009, 5:53pm EDT
ah ha...the vision THAT reply evoked, David............:)
A. F. Stewart Jul 16, 2009, 3:39pm EDT
Always pack the anti-nausea medication.
Tracy Fabre Jul 16, 2009, 5:10pm EDT
Heh... you just "can't get no respect"!
JoAnn C. Jul 16, 2009, 6:26pm EDT
great story David. laughed at the ending.
KC Klein Jul 16, 2009, 8:24pm EDT
I like your use of the sentence fragment.
David W. Jul 16, 2009, 10:08pm EDT
Hmmm, it did save me two words.

(It was) Our first day at sea trapped in a monsoon nightmare.
KC Klein Jul 17, 2009, 12:23am EDT
I think avoiding sentence fragments is important in high school and college English comp.

I think:

It was
There was

Is wordy, weakens writing and should be avoided.

It was a dark and stormy night.
The night was dark and stormy.
David W. Jul 17, 2009, 9:12am EDT
Well said, besides, people talk and think in in fragments. Why souldn't we write that way on occaison.
Linda T. Jul 16, 2009, 11:32pm EDT
This was great David.
Virginia M. Jul 16, 2009, 11:50pm EDT
From lurching, tossing waves to turbulent air currents, I can almost see how green you were! lol
Sarah A. Hopes for More TOS Enforcement Jul 17, 2009, 2:13am EDT
I think I would just have settled down and started life anew in Cozumel...

Very eerie, kiddo!
Kushal Poddar Jul 17, 2009, 7:29am EDT
I have never been there, but your words are fetching sea here. I remember Hammond Innes.

silence for God
Kushal Poddar Jul 17, 2009, 7:30am EDT
I am learning from you and Karl.
Haim Kadman Jul 17, 2009, 11:04am EDT
Sounds like a real nightmare.
Heather ~of the Whippets~ M. Jul 17, 2009, 12:46pm EDT
I would have been green as soon as the seas started getting the least bit choppy.
Nyota *Star* Jul 17, 2009, 7:05pm EDT
I could feel the wetness. Great write!
David W. Jul 17, 2009, 10:42pm EDT
From you this is delite.
JustMe ~I'm happy to be~ Jul 17, 2009, 10:30pm EDT
Good one, my friend!
David W. Jul 17, 2009, 10:41pm EDT
I tip my hat to yoou.
Priscilla P. Jul 19, 2009, 4:08pm EDT
I hate when that happens. Good story
David W. Jul 19, 2009, 10:16pm EDT
So do I.
Karen Irene B. Jul 20, 2009, 8:02pm EDT
Enjoyed your story very much. As one who gets sick on kiddie rides, I can relate.
David W. Jul 20, 2009, 8:14pm EDT
When i was a kid I got seasick licking postage stamps.
Karen Irene B. Jul 20, 2009, 10:48pm EDT
Now, that's funny.
Elsie Duggan Jul 21, 2009, 11:15am EDT
love it, glad you made it to shore, lol, but airsick, ewww
Shelbia C. Jul 29, 2009, 10:17pm EDT
Wonderful
Sidewinder 7 Oct 12, 2009, 3:07am EDT
At it's opening, I begin to think of Rime of the Ancient Mariner. Good write again.

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