So, yeah, I've been mostly off of Gather for the past week or so -- in part, because it's been incredibly difficult to focus on anything but the unpleasant realities of life at the moment. I've been working where I can from home - the hours've been tenuous (I'm very glad that my workplace has been understandable and accommodating given the circumstances) and I'm playing that fun game where you run around trying to convince people that you're poor enough to deserve charity care because you can't afford insurance. More accurately, I'm trying to do that right now to recover the money I was charged up front that emptied my bank account, which was previously earmarked for the rent, and there are more expenses piling up all the while.
Blood tests are expensive, even when they give you a discounted rate for being uninsured, let me just say that up front. Which brings up another point -- one has to wonder how much of health care costs is profits and how much is expenses, charity care nonwithstanding, and why the progress of health science is stagnant in comparison to the technological sector. (I know what you're thinking -- 'because you can turn a machine off to replace a hard drive, but you typically have to perform surgery while the person is still alive'. That doesn't mean I don't wonder what we're doing to improve -- and by improve, I don't mean 'invent a new pill to take that counters the problems caused by the previous pill', but 'figure out what's wrong with you and how to fix the problem'.)
Speaking of replacing hard drives, I've been in a battle of wills with Laura's laptop. I bought it for her after almost a year and a half of struggling with the power supply of her old Toshiba laptop (I've had power adapters fail on it within months), and for a while, even with Vista on it, everything seemed to be fine. However, as you may have read, the hard drive in this machine is... wait for it... a Toshiba. And has been failing -- frequently in the past few weeks, to the point where I've had to reformat the system and reinstall the operating system... twice... and most recently, it ran for about one day before requiring Chkdsk to fix disk errors, and three days before announcing that critical system files were corrupt and could I please use the repair disk and hope for the best. (The repair disk, in turn, boots you to a DOS prompt and lets you sort out your own problems without any help from it.)
So I guess the moral of this story is, don't ever buy a Toshiba unless you enjoy their lack of quality and performance. Maybe someday I'll end up with quality Toshiba hardware, but from experience, it won't be in laptop form. And yes, it's irksome, because Laura's kinda confined to bed most of the time (when she sits or stands, her blood pressure rises), and the laptop is the most convenient way for her to use the computer without slow painful death resulting. Right now, I've got a computer set up with the monitor facing her direction, but even with the Magnifier utility on, it's hard for her to see things - her vision's blurry, that's another fun side effect of all of this. And beyond the blood pressure, we're still not entirely sure what's wrong, which is nerve-wracking, which is bad for blood pressure. Whee. She's got two blood pressure medications, she's trying to eat better, and her blood pressure is still soaring. It terrifies me and makes me hope I remember how to perform CPR in equal measure.
I find myself alternately obsessing or panicking over our financial state, since not having money means not being able to pay for things that could keep Laura from keeling over - which, trust me, is my personal top priority, and which is why I worry about things like replacing laptop hard drives with some seriousness. If it stresses Laura out, it drives up her blood pressure. It's been in the 170s on occasion, even with the revised medication, and we're waiting until Friday for the doctor appointment to evaluate how things are going and whether the prescription needs to be increased.
So, yeah. Haven't been very talkative, and probably won't be for a while, but I'm probably going to try posting some articles here and there, because I can't really afford not to try anything I have some time for.
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Comments: 16
Sounds like you are due a break, and I'll say some prayers for that.
Life sure can throw us some curve balls. Prayers can help, I will add you to mine. I wish there was more that I could do.
I think I mentioned that HP and Toshiba are junk. I sure can relate to the medical situation. My blood work alone was $300 and I am supposed to have it every month. Of course I don't do it. I just can't. Our hospital charges over $500 for a hip X-ray. I found an independent lab (which was very hard to find) and I still had to pay $300. I just don't get things done and I can't get any help. We are the folks that fell through the cracks yet we still pay taxes that help others and illegal immigrants. Sounds like I am disgusted. Yes, a bit.
Wishing you some financial, health and stress relief, Austin.
Illegal mmigrants aren't your problem.. According to Marilyn, you're just not trying hard enough.
i'm so sorry you and your family are having these difficulties, praying that it turns a corner for the better for you soon
Hang in there Austin and Laura. It's bound to get better soon. I have to keep saying that to myself as well. It's bound to get better soon.
Yeah, I'm hoping things improve... at least they're not getting worse, so that's something.
... on a side note, I am now vaguely enthralled by the phrase 'ticking time bombs of flesh', to the point I actually Googled it to see if it's been used. Apparently it's not a common phrase. Go brain!
Sending prayers that things will look up for you and your family.
Bless your heart, Austin. I hope you and Laura know we are thinking of you both, and keeping you in our good thoughts.
Hopfully, Laura's better food diet will kick in and show a great turn around.
The reason we don't have health insurance is that it is outrageously expensive to get any sort of coverage that would benefit us.
When you look at plans that have high deductibles before they even start to cover anything, and a huge monthly fee for coverage - it's frequently not cost effective at all.
Unlike the laptop, there has never been a time where we could afford health insurance that would actually provide benefits worth the cost.
If you have health insurance, lucky you that you haven't had to be in that sort of position - but we're certainly not the only people in it.
And, yes, as far as laptops go, I did save up for that for Laura (yes, even poor people can afford things if they save for them), when our finances were doing well enough that we could afford to save for things -- I like quality-of-life upgrades that mean Laura is less stressed and has less blood pressure problems, and this was a particularly bad time for that support structure to fail.
Only problem is, I saved up for that during a time when our finances were good, and this is clearly not that time. Hence why I'm not running out to buy a new laptop or even a new hard drive right this second -- and am trying to coax some life out of this old equipment -- because I can't afford to pay for a solution this week, but I want to do what I can to bring Laura's stress levels down. (It's no more foolish than blowing $2000 a year on health insurance that makes you pay an extra $2000 a year before you can actually use it, after all.)
Year ago before insurance was the (in thing). This man tells me that his doctor found out he had insurance and charge twice as much as he would have if the man was uninsured. So yes I think it does drive up the costs.
I love the concept of insurance, but barring things such as health FSAs that let you set aside money for health expenses before taxes, I've yet to see a really good plan. Anyone know of one that does a better job?