This is the ongoing saga of "Dixie Black", a woman in her early fifties, who has returned to her hometown after a thirty year absence, to oversee her Alzheimer's ridden Mother's affairs, and find a new life for herself in the process. Here is the index to Dixie's tales: Index To Dixie Black Stories
On to today's installment:
Waiting for the contractor to arrive, Dixie applied lip balm once again. Her lips were a royal mess, chapped, swollen, and sore when she awoke this morning. "Oh well, it was worth it," she thought, remembering the look on the fire chief's face last night when he collected the kissing booth's donations for the fireman's widow fund. $1280 was in the box. She figured, that equaled 256 kisses, so it was no wonder her lips felt like three day old hamburger. "Eh," she sighed, "At least I know how my lips would look if I ever decide on collagen injections."
The Fireman's picnic was a grand success, taking in a grand total of $16,000. The food was great, the kids had a ball, and the surprise fireworks at the end of the night was just icing on the cake.
She had to suppress a laugh when she remembered some of the revelry she had witnessed yesterday.
-Watching what had to be the Mother of all water balloon fights between those delectable shirtless firemen and probably fifty children, all whooping and hollering like Indians on the warpath in an old western movie.
-The tall couple who ate what had to be three whole chickens apiece, plus sides and dessert.
- The pie eating contest, won by a 14 year old kid, and watching him puke afterward.
- Billy's reaction when he asked for a "freebie, for old time's sake", and charging him triple for a chaste smooch on the cheek.
-Spying Grumble the bear in the distance, watching the fireworks, surrounded by stuffed animals( what was up with that?).
-Pete, sidling up to her as the fireworks began, and placing a gentle arm around her sun burnt shoulders.
She was still reminiscing happily, when the contractor pulled up in a shiny white pickup truck emblazoned with the sign "Vilardo's Contracting: When You Need to Change Your World". It was their motto that led Dixie to call them in the first place. She thought it ironic that a company which had such a wonderful slogan could have such tacky and horrible TV ads.
"Ms. Black? I'm Gino Vilardo, at your service. I understand you want to make some renovations to this old place. Long overdo, " he said, bowing in a grand gesture before settling into an Adirondack chair. "If I got your intent correctly, you want to turn this old place into a sexy B & B, right? I love it, honey! Just what this dreary little burg needs..some spice!" he exclaimed.
Dixie was taken aback by the absolute gayness of this man, and was even more excited than before.
"That's just what I was thinking, Mr. Vilardo. What I want to do is renovate several of the upstairs bedrooms into "fantasy rooms".The downstairs, or common areas will retain the flavor of a typical farmhouse, so the guests will only have their fantasy known to them, and me, of course. I want anyone entering the house to only see a nice, upscale Bed and Breakfast, but upstairs is another story..I want to go hog wild."
After giving Gino, as he insisted she call him, a tour of the house and property, they settled down to business. Four hours later, the plan was finalized, to Dixie's obvious delight.
The first floor of the house would be expanded, by adding a spa off the mud room in back. The kitchen would be renovated with state of the art appliances, and a large center island. The living room would be classic Midwest farm style, in knotty pine and comfortable furnishings.
The four bedrooms upstairs would be redecorated into an Arabian nights theme, a dungeon ,a classic B & B bedroom, and a honeymoon suite, complete with a tacky champagne glass shaped Jacuzzi.
They decided that by merely changing the aesthetics, the Arabian nights room could be transformed into a fairy castle, the dungeon could be changed into a cave or S&M theme, and the classic room into a horror fan's dream, or nightmare, as the case may be.
The grounds and drive would be tastefully landscaped, not hinting at the sensual interior's purpose. "Have to keep the neighbors happy", Dixie thought.
She decided to wait to add a pool, as it was an expense she couldn't afford until her new venture was securely in the black. As it stood, she was going into almost half a million dollars in debt to get the place open.
She did not want to touch her uncle's trust for the upkeep of the place, as she wanted to use that money next year to get the farm up, running and making money from the herbs and vegetables she planned on growing and selling.
Gino approved all the plans, and told her that Dixie's Fantasy Farm could be open for business within two months. He also insisted that he and his partner be the first guests in the dungeon room.
"Sugar, you do me right on the renovations, and the room is yours, gratis." Dixie smiled, as he jaunted off the stoop to his truck.
Heading back into the house after the contractor made his exit, Dixie felt her cell phone vibrate in her pocket.
"Dix, its Bill. We need to talk. I'm on my way out there." Click.
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Comments: 23
hahah. loved the title!
Okay... now I need to read... I will be back later (yeah, I know... I lie a lot)
yeah, yeah, thats what they ALL say...
Three whole chickens, plus sides, plus dessert? That just made my stomach hurt!
I liked your story! IF there's something to critique.. I sure don't know what it is.
The chicken fiends were Lynn P.'s new characters, if you didn't recognize them.
Oh, I'm sure someone will find something critique worthy...lol...but I'm not naming names..coughbarbcough
you want barb to cough?
let me go get her. she's feeling a litte under the weather I think.
Barb? Who said anything about Barb?
coughoopscough
You really need to get that cough looked at...I think there's sometihng going around...
LOL! Sorry I'm so late! This was coughfunnycough
I know, right? It's contageous!
I love the way you incorporated the other writer's folk into the picnic, Donna....and the title was a hoot,lol
The title is a hoot!!!! Donna, I sure don't see anything to fix... I love the layout of the kitchen!!! That is my favorite place in the house:)
I liked how you brought the other characters into play
Now, I see what Sandy was talking about
I love this sexy B&B idea of yours too!! I don't know how you keep coming up with with these ideas:)
Mine too, barb...thats why it will play a central part in the B&B...Dixie plans to cater her guests desires into the menu...teeheehee
As for the ideas...a warped mind can go strange and wondrous places without the constraints of things like sanity.
LOL, I cannot wait to read about THAT!!!!
Well, the gives me major hope!!!! I think I lost my mind just a couple of months back, so alll good:)
How Cool !! This sounds like a great idea. I can just imagine some of the scandalous and sentimental stories that can be born at a B & B run by your Dixie Black character.
Good one, Sweetie.
Yeah, hon..kinda like Xaviera Hollander meets Betty Crocker...lol
Oh, this was too much fun! I cannot believe you crammed all that into such a short piece! Got the picnic done, made plans, and, apparently got Bill upset. Oops. Hope lips aren't needed some more - at least for the day. lol
Some ideas for the "honeymoon" room. Gotta go with heart-shaped bed, a fireplace, and ... well, nevermind. I was just remembering a place from the past. Sadly, we did not get the tacky champagne glass jacuzzi. Wasn't enough time to use it anyway. lol
BTW, I'm beginning to see where you and Dixie merge. Given the rooms in her B & B, I hope never to figure out the rest. lol
Thanks for the ride. This was a Tilt-a-whirl, verses the old rollercoaster. lol
Lynn,
I needed to move the story along, and get past the picnic, and I thought, a few bullets might do the trick. As for the honeymoon room, I got my inspiration form those "Smokey Mountain" honeymoon hotels...and yes, there will be as heart shaped, rotating bed in that one.
It's a safe bet that Dixie won't have to use her lips when Bill visits...she's still pretty pissed at him..30 years worth of pissed..lol
Rotating beds? Cool! And, the Poconos have our tacky, yet fun, no-tell-motel suites. lol
As for Dixie and Bill - gonna be some more fireworks tonight? But, not like the type Dixie likes. lol
Precious little story with an enticing title! 10 stars for you!! ;)
Esther,
Dixie is part of an ongoing saga.I have an index to her stories on my profile page
Okay! Sorry I'm late; this was a blast! I loved the title, I loved the plan, and I loved the description. It was funny, but when you were describing the changes, I could see the old farmhouse in my mind!
I think I want Dixie to do a fundraiser for my ferret shelter!!
I loved the memories of the picnic and how you wove in other characters. Sorry Launa missed that boat. I laughed out loud at the bear part. LOL! Surrounded by stuffed animals! Hee hee.
I laughed out loud at the "old time's sake" request. He needs to meet Skip the letcher.
I loved the slogan for the remodeling company :) Hee!
I really liked how you could change the rooms into different "fantasies". Very cool idea.
I think you have LOTS of potential stories, what with the farm and people renting rooms and too many suitors! Wow! I also liked the cliffhanger at the end.
So, you want me to find stuff? :) Alrighty then! -------------------------------------
"Waiting for the contractor to arrive, Dixie applied lip balm one again." ... that should be "once again"
"Her lips were a royal mess, ..." I'd put a dash instead of a comma here if it was me.
"Oh well, it was worth it." she thought ... There should be a comma after "worth it" not a period.
"Watching what had to be the Mother of all water " Capitalizing "Mother" seems odd to me here. I'm not really certain about it, but it looks odd to me.
The listing of memories needs to be consistant with capitalization of the first word and periods at the end ... OR ... no caps or periods. You sort of mix both and you just need to pick one and stick to it.
"before settling in to an Adirondack chair." That "in to" should be "into"
'Bout time you showed up!
Thanks for the tips, and I fixed my "oopsies". I left "royal mess as it was, because it just didn't look right with the dash, and left "Mother" capped. I looked it up on "word court" and according to their archives, caps are appropriate to infer the magnitude of the usage.
Thanks for both the praise and the critique!!