Imagine you’d be tired getting discounts with your wife.
The face lift rocked five years ago, but now it’s not as tight.
Gravity betrays far surpassing boobs and buns
Unfortunate heart episodes prevent drinking down cold ones.
Call the geriatric ward; we’re bringing this one in
No amount of money could correct the flabby skin
And no amount of plastic could help correct the phase
That dominates her body fondly known to be old age.
We need some more Depends because this may be all that’s left
WHAT? She needs a hearing aid; I think you said she’s deaf?
A cane before a walker, or a scooter on the floor?
Pre-chewed carrot medley smells good, ya want some more?
Effordent and polydent, a bottle of hair dye
99 cent cheaters help her see out of one eye
Cataracts and heart attacks and prune juice in a can
Hair that grows in places only found upon a man.
We’ll get your wife a rocker and some knitting needles too
An eyebrow pencil, shower chair and geriatric shoes.
Some squished banana, life alert, an A.E.D. machine
And then we will let you decide, 60 or 18?
recommend this
email
print
link to this page
