A perfectionist
biting nails
breathing inside the oyster
turning pages of
self-defeating thoughts
with fear of disapproval
if others see their flaws
protecting from rejection
denying the splash of criticism
confused, seeing
situations in perspectives
holding an endless list
wiping the blurry eyes
aiming at unrealistic goals
gazing outside
believing others are easily successful
everything I have
then what I'm afraid of ?
still dangling between the depths
Come out of it
It's a small world.
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- the subject must refer to something hidden
- use the word "oyster"
- limit your piece to 100 words or 300 words if prose, 10 lines or 25 lines if poetry
- include an idiom
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Comments: 39
sounds good to me...
I truly loved the way you worked the prompt into an awesome poem!
Thanks for posting to my group, Anythingwriting
And the way you ended was great, buzzy :)
Well penned. You really did a lot with this prompt.
Well done.
Featured in the The Triple Name Club
Well done, Buzzy!
Very well done Bhawana!
Excellent choice and use of words, Buzz.
Wonderful prose Bhawana!! Hope you are well :)
aaaaa...Alison...where were you?nice to see you again..hope you're fine!
Beautifully written, Bhawana.
only thing to fear! Doing good Bhawana!
spot on,Georgiana...we both have ana at the end of our names!!!
love
Yes, it mean "of", like Georgiana is things of the georgian times, Victoriana for Victorian times, and your is Bhaw!
Great job ,Buzzy . It is a small world !
wonderful write!
A fearless response to a complicated prompt. Well done.
your comments are always in some different color,Jan. I love your response.
Well done my friend, well done and well penned.
You have said it all. I still remember my oyster days. I may write one by Monday.
signature of life
My busy poet, your writings inspires me to give another shot every week
Fear of crtique - well written and a nice flow to it.
Ooooooooh, that's what perfectionism brings?! I'm so glad I've never come close enough to perfection to ever think I can get there. Great portrait. As one, who never understood perfectionists, this gives me a great inside glimpse into what I'm not missing and a sadness for what they are missing.
Great visuals, and great leap into the psyche of these people. Also, perfect advice at the end pulled off well without it sounding preachy, and good use of the prompts.
The only problems I saw was some confusion in tense (some times it was present tense and some times past tense), and I wasn't sure if you were showing a single perfectionist, the group as a whole, or yourself. (I hope not yourself. I know it is brave enough just to post on an Internet board.) I'm sure, if you look at it again, you'll understand my confusion.
Thank you. I did like it very much - I so love being shown, verses being preached at, and you're very good at showing.
Dear Lynn,
much thanks for your kind presence. I am overwhelmed and thinking on your suggestions.Sure something is wiggling! I will fix it.Your points are valuable and believe me I would like to get connected to recieve such precious words from you.I have problems in mixing up tenses.You caught me.
love
Definitely accepted you as a friend. Any chance you have an ability to catch typos and too many commas? That's my weakness. lol (Also have problems with length, too, but I think you'll figure that out quickly enough. lol)
Tagging for later response, 'K Buzzy? :-)
Dear Susan,
I dunno whetehr poety should be done daily or it depends on moods but for me I write when I get motivated.There must be certain strong points to write it instead of painting.Your wwe is working well for me.Thanks for leaving noticable comments.
I will wait;)
Writing daily is what works for me. But I don't write poetry daily and I think I would be better off if I would exert myself and write consistently.
Daily I write mostly prose and technical stuff and creative non-fiction when I give it some thought. Wish I were writing poetry more often. :-/
I was going through your poety blog,Susan and readsome very impressive poems.
Thanks, Buzzy. Remarks such as this stokes my fire to put more energy into poetry, both writing it and submitting it.
Fear of failure is well projected writenow on quest 4 excellence
i know people like this. Excellent description and poem.
This poem starts out in one voice, but shifts into a stream of consciousness, I feel. The inner voice of the "second" narrator is strong and conflicted and trying to find her way out of perfectionism.
Sometimes I felt a bit lost in your words, Buzzy. But this piece borders on surrealism, which as I keep saying, is not my strength. :-) So my lost-ness is not necessarily due to your flow of words, it might just as likely be due to my tendency toward concrete thinking.
Still, you might want to look at your word choices. You used a lot of words that end in -ing. Personally, I try to avoid using (ha! just did it) gerunds.
I won't deny, Susan but it's true to some extent that all of sudden this narrator jumped in to the poem,couldn't stop her as I was so excited to use that idiom.
My weakness I talk a lot in present continuous tense.I will be alert next time.That's a neat advise.
you are cacthing up me well...many times I am also lost in abstract world,puzzled to solve the mystery...see here again I am talking off the wall....
love and thanks;)