The Dying Tree - Ghazal

I'm so glad your email said you are in a better place than this. I have been in such a place as this, and would not wish it on anyone. It's a lovely write, but a dark, dark place for the soul.

Thankyou, Julie. I appreciate your sentiments.

An excellent write, and always interesting to see how one can write of a dark place but not be in that dark place. Such an interesting and tantallzing poetic form.

Thanks Kathryn. The form was very instrumental in this examination of empathy.

Mike,

I also, am glad that you said in your email that you weren't in this place -- providing I can understand the "how-to's" of writing one of these, I want to try.

This is sadly, beautiful.

Marilyn

Thanks, Marilyn. The poetic form is very challenging. Susan Budig has a group called 'Mindful Poetry' on Gather and she introduced me to the ghazal. There are numerous variations on the basic form, but I tried to produce one along traditional lines.

a finest composition,Mike. I can hear a soft,soothing music behind the words.Sadly but poetically very high.I love

You warned me that the fruit would soon decay.

Your proof that life is brief: the dying tree.

Thanks, Bhawana. A little melancholia is good for the soul.

Ghazals are often written in these moods.

That's a good point. Love-sick, wallowing in self-pity - the essence of ghazal. They were often written with the intention of seducing women, I have read somewhere.

All throughout you know that this person is dying inside and out.

Thanks for posting to my group, Anythingwriting

To be bereft of hope would indeed be desperate.

Very powerful.  The depth of the pain is palpable.

Thanks for your comment, Patti.

Mike, this ghazal captures an entire phrase, but more than that, the sound --th is present and very much appreciated in the second line of each couplet.

Momentarily, upon reading about the crucified thief in the dying tree, I thought this might be a poem of spirituality or faith, but you only segued briefly in that direction.  In a sense, you touched on many aspects of a single concept, much like Wallace Stevens' poem Thirteen Ways of Looking at a Blackbird, which is a poem and format that I love.

One spot that caused me to pause in confusion:  belief a dying tree.  The syntax doesn't work for me.  I don't understand what you mean.  And that it occurred in the very first line made it difficult for me to shake off and continue reading the rest of the poem without prejudice.  

How should that be read?  If you want to keep it as is, might you place that couplet farther into the poem so that a rhythm is already set and the questions it raises are more easily set aside because you've already subdued us with a lyrical, aching poem?

Susan, thanks for your thoughtful comment and the reference on to Wallace Stevens. I have learned to admire Stevens' work relatively recently.

I am happy to explain what I was trying to say. You were right to think this may be a poem about spirituality or faith. Matthew Arnold in 'Dover Beach' wrote of the 'melancholy, long, withdrawing roar' of the tide over the pebbles. The ebbing tide, was of course, a metaphor for loss of religious faith. In my ghazal I envisage an individual who senses that the roots, bole, branches, leaves, fruit of their personal tree of faith are shriveling and weakening in the face of  experience. In the Bible trees are frequently used in this metaphorical way - fig trees and vines, most frequently, and in the ghazal the melancholy emerges because the individual senses that both the tree of which he is a part (Christendom) and his own personal resources of Faith are beginning to fail. He regrets that the tree of faith is not offering protection for the next generation; he fears that love will lose its value; he sees the wood of the cross as being less imposing - yet ends with a prayer for a sign of some sort that may inspire a renewal of faith.

So, to sum up, the tree is a metaphor for faith struggling to survive in a changing, increasingly difficult environment.

I'm working on a more positive, hopeful companion to this ghazal which I'll post before the end of the month.

Mike this is a ripping-gripping write totally wrapped with both pain and dispair.  Not an easy write for you, is my guess, but you pulled it off beautifully.

A lot of us have been there, with the tree's ability to symbolize so many disconnected states.  Long illness and death,  Loss of family, loss of faith, loss of any kind can be superimposed over the tree. 

Powerful writing, my friend.  This may well be a classic, due to the fact that it can be interpreted in so many different ways, it will have that classic ability to fit all readers and fill all voids with that magical connection to another soul.

Blessed BE,

Wilka

Thanks for the comment Wilka, perceptive as ever. Not so much the Dark Night of the Soul as a dusky twilight. Great to hear from you.

I stand in awe of your conquest of this challenge, Mike.  You use the form to express poetically your idea with nothing sounding at all forced.  Bravo!

John, thanks for the kind comment. Made my day. It certainly isn't an easy form, but it can be strangely powerful.

I agree.

Belief a dying tree! For some but not all.  A powerfully written piece.