Reflections, June 28th, 2009

Sunday, June 28th, 2009

Reflections: Unforgiveness is Costly

"Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any; even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye." Colossians 3:12,13

Scripture reading for this week: Psalm 25: 18, Psalm 51, Matthew 6; 9, Ephesians 4:32, 2 Corinthians 2...

There is a stench in the air. A stench that is reaching the nostrils of God Almighty. It is coming from the unforgiveness that resides within those that call themselves believers and followers of Christ. Unforgiveness has managed to embed itself within the hearts of many; many not realizing that the cause of their grief, their illness, their inability to move forward in life lies within their heart and mouths; uttering three small but powerful words: I forgive you.

Dear Father,
     Father, I pray for my family, friends and colleagues. I ask that You would bring words of encouragement and enlightenment to their hearts today. Allow this week's Reflection to be a source for them. I ask that You would forgive us of our sins, and lighten the load that we may carry. Teach us, Lord, how to release the hurt and pain that we may have suffered over the years. I ask that You would mend our bruised and wounded hearts; that You would ease our minds of the memories that can keep us bound. Teach us, Father, to not only seek your presence, but also the safety of Your arms.
     Lord, I thank You for the spirit of forgiveness, and for Your Holy Spirit that dwells within us. I ask that You would continue to speak to hearts, and remove any hardness that may have settled there. Thank You Lord for freeing us from the chains that would bind us. Thank You for not only hearing our prayers, our cries, but also from delivering from all of our afflictions.
     Thank You for covering us, and loving us. Thank You, Father for understanding us and reaching Your hands toward us. Thank You for removing any stench, making us a sweet smelling savor to Your nostrils. Thank You for a renewed mind and a forgiving heart. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Mark 11:25,26
"And when ye stand praying forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses."

The Word of God is clear concerning forgiveness. We must forgive in order to be forgiven. Is it easy? Of course not! It is not an easy thing to do; largely due to the fact that we have long memories, and the pain of the hurt that may have been caused can run deep.

Does God expect us to just get over it, and act as though nothing happened? No. He knows that for many, the wrong that we have suffered, the hurt and deception and pain is fierce, and sometimes devastating. And He knows that forgiveness takes time and is a process. That's why we must have a heart to forgive, allowing God to bring us through the forgiveness process.

Yes, it hurts. The pain is real. The sting of what we may have experienced through the actions of others may reside with us for a while; but we must allow the Father to teach us how to move forward in our pain. We must place God ahead of our desire to remain unforgiving and angry. Because, it can and will hinder us from receiving all that God has for us.

Matthew 5:10,11
"Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall do all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake..."

That's not what we want to hear, is it? I know. I've been there. I cannot come before you sharing about forgiveness if I have never experienced the process of forgiving and the pain that is associated with it when you are not willing to release it to God. And forgiving those who have done all matter of evil against you; including causing the death of someone you love more than life.

I talk about my father every now and again, and how precious and special our relationship was. Yet I rarely talk about his death. My father was killed; Stabbed in the back trying to help someone. The details at the time surrounding his death were sketchy. But the fact of the matter is, someone took his life.

I was about to turn seventeen, entering my senior year of High School. I was devastated, I was angry, bitter and resentful...towards God. Yes. I was angry at God. I couldn't believe God could let this happen. How could he allow such a thing to happen to the only person I felt that loved me unconditionally? To the person that had always been in my corner?

I was angry and bitter at the person who committed it and the people that were there; including my stepmother. I couldn't forgive. I just couldn't. It was so painful; so heart wrenchingly suffocating. The words coming from people's mouths were of no comfort. My heart was broken, and all I wanted to know was why this happened.

I couldn't get past the hurt for a long time. The hurt was so excruciating, as though my heart would explode from the pain. But for God, it did not. Oh what a loving and gracious Father that we serve. He never leaves us; even when we turn our backs on Him; even when we are angry at Him. He understands.

With each month that passed, the fog in my mind began to lift and the comfort that people were offering became easier to receive. Yet anger and unforgiveness remained. I went to college the following year. And in that year, I realized that I had not given my all to anything. Unforgiveness was robbing me.

God spoke to my heart. He wanted to heal me and take away the hardness that had formed in my heart. He wanted to free me and bless me. He wanted to ensure that I did not become a victim again, by allowing the enemy to rob me of what He had for me.

Unforgiveness blocks you from hearing and receiving what God has for you. It robs you of not only joy, peace and rest, but also love, purpose, and vindication. Yes, vindication. When we refuse to forgive, we tie the hands of God from doing what He desires to do on our behalf. There is a price to pay for hurting a child of God.

2 Thessalonians 1:6
"Seeing it is a righteous thing with God to recompense tribulation to them that trouble you;..."

Know this, God will take care of you. God will protect you, vindicate you, and recompense tribulation to all that cause you affliction. But we must have a heart that is forgiving; a heart that allows God in, and pushes the stagnation of unforgiveness and resentment out.

We cannot move forward unless we deal with the spiritual plaque that has built itself around our hearts. It blocks us from living. It blocks us from receiving the promises of God. It also blocks of from the vindication of God.

Did you know that unforgiveness can cause physical, as well as mental and spiritual pain? The stress of unforgiveness binds you. It takes a toll upon your body. It causes aches and pain physically. You can develop heart problems, arthritis, weight gain, weight loss, hair loss. All from unforgiveness. Why? Because unforgiveness is poison. Poison to everything in your life; to your bones.

What does it profit you to hold onto to the unforgiveness? I mean, what have you really gained by becoming bitter and full of hate? God cannot reside in a heart that is filled with hate. God is love; He is forgiveness. And He is the only one who can pull you through and take you out of what has hindered you.

You see, when I began to realize that God really did love me, and had more for me, I had to face the fact that if I continued to be angry and unforgiving; that if I continued to push people away and remained angry at God, the enemy would win for sure, and I'd be a victim over and over again, and all the dreams my father had for me would have died with him.

It was a process. I started with God. I told Him I was sorry for shutting Him out and acknowledge that He was the only one who could deliver me from the pain I was in, and the only one who could recompense for the wrong done to me. Then I thought, Do I want to miss out on heaven because I cannot forgive and move on? God forbid! Imagine the persons responsible asked for forgiveness from God and received it, and made it to heaven and I didn't? (Although they have consequences for their actions, God would still forgive a truly repentant heart.) I couldn't let the enemy win. Especially not like that! Forgiveness is a process and only God can take you through, if you let Him.

Years passed before I saw my stepmother again. It was in church of all places. I can honestly say that I had forgiven her. That I no longer blamed her for my father's death. I was free. But I knew I was really free when a few years ago, the man who killed my father was released after serving 18 years. My brother didn't want to tell me. But when he did, I was okay. I held no animosity. Actually, I felt nothing. Why? Because I allowed God to move me forward from the anger and resentfulness. I had forgiven the man. And moved on. I didn't have to become his friend. Or even look at him, or talk to him. I just needed to be free, for me. To have forgiven so that my life showed forth the goodness and promises that God has for me.

I will say this; when God says vengeance is His?-He means it! I can only say that when I look at the life of those involved, and I look at my life-I shout praises to God. My life is blessed in deed. My father lives on...in me and my accomplishments. His dreams for my life have come to pass. His love for me, beats in my heart everyday. His words of encouragement rings in my ears constantly. His influence on my life is evident. I am living my dream and my passion.

Unforgiveness almost destroyed me; nearly killed me. Because without the Spirit of God, we are dead. But glory to God Almighty for His mercy and loving kindness. For it outweighs and covers all matter hurt and pain.

To be free in God; to live a life uninhibited; to be totally free and live the life ordained of God; our hearts must be free. Our ears must be unblocked to hear the voice of God. Our hearts free to receive. Don't let the enemy come and destroy you. Don't allow him to continue to steal, kill and destroy; your life, your dreams, your love. Let forgiveness find its place in your heart and soul, and allow God to bring you through the sometimes painful process. God will do it. If you let him.

My heart is with you always, as are my prayers. I pray that the spirit of forgiveness finds its way in your heart, so that the spirit of God's peace and prosperity can rest in your: spiritual, physical, emotional, mental, social and financial lives. Don't be a victim any longer, but the conqueror that God has called you to be. Open your heart to God, and let Him lead you. May you find rest and peace in the Word of God; and comfort in the fact that He's got your back! Be Blessed.

©2009. Ruthe McDonald. All Rights Reserved.