Yesterday, after the news of the sudden death of Michael Jackson, I was transported back in time to when “Thriller” was being played on MTV. My niece, Jessie, who was four years old at the time, especially loved the song. Whenever it was played, she would break into a huge grin and dance all around the room. Many years later, my own daughter would be introduced to the song and its famous dance sequence through the movie 13 Going On 30.
I watched CNN last night, drawn to this story, mostly to watch the video clips of his music performances and relive my own memories of his music. I make no assumptions about his personal life, nor do I believe his death is any more (or any less) significant than any other person’s. I’m sure those who love him will dearly miss him.
So what does this have to do with writing?
Since yesterday, I have seen and read many remembrances of Michael Jackson, most of them expressing sadness and thoughts of how he will be missed. The news spoke of his impact on pop culture, and many viewers responded with text messages of their own memories of him. I can’t help but wonder how this outpouring of affection and admiration might have had an impact on Michael himself if he were alive to hear it. Sadly, it is somewhat common for these types of thoughts to be expressed when the recipient is no longer able to be aware of them.
Why do we do that? My guess is that although mortality is something of which we are all aware, we choose not to focus on it until we are forced by circumstance. When I lost my dad last year, I took comfort in being able to write my memories and thoughts about him. I spent a significant amount of time with him near the end of his life, but after he was gone, I wondered whether he knew how much he mattered to me and if I should have told him stories of how he mattered to me—not just as he neared the end, but earlier, when he was still healthy.
Maybe it’s not human nature to stop and reflect on the specifics of how our loved ones touch our lives, or to identify exactly what it is that we appreciate and respect about them. I do, however, believe it is human nature to want to be valued. No one gets through life without traveling over at least a few bumps in the road, and it occurs to me that it might be helpful to have those expressions of love, respect, and admiration in times of need, to provide some comfort. Words can make a difference. Although others will appreciate the sentiments expressed in eulogy, the person to whom they would mean the most cannot.
For today’s prompt, I encourage everyone to think about a friend, a teacher, a family member, or anyone who touches your life. Try to identify what they mean to you and specific memories involving them that stand out in your mind. Incorporate those thoughts in a letter, an essay, a poem, or a short story and then share it with that person. Whether you post it on Gather is your decision; it is more important to share it with that special someone. It doesn’t have to be happen today, but I encourage everyone to do this soon, and continue to do this with people who are important to you. You’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you made a difference in their life by letting them know how they made a difference in your life.
As always, I look forward to your submissions.
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Comments: 28
Excellent post and idea, Nancy.
Hi, JM. It was difficult to ignore this story yesterday as it consumed the airwaves, television, and significantly slowed the Internet.
My thoughts on this subject are not new or specific to Michael Jackson, just an observation I have considered every time I experience the passing of someone I know.
Although I do not know Michael Jackson, we have certainly been exposed to information about him and the tragedy of his life. He was often descried as lonely, and I can't help but wonder if his life could have been enriched through expressions of affection from those closest to him. His brother admitted regret yesterday that he had neglected his relationship with Michael for some time. Unfortunately, there are no "do-overs" after a death.
I agree with what you say. It's a tragic story, really.
I wrote two pieces, Jerusalem, Part I, and today, I wrote Part II. You post prompted the second into motion.
Death should always be a lesson for all of us....to do exactly what you've suggested here. But alas we are human, and we get caught up in the seemingly important daily tasks that consume us, and draw us away from what is truly important. You've conveyed a wonderful message here!
Hi, Kim.
I agree that it's more common to be distracted by the hustle and bustle of everyday life. I really make an effort, and will continue to do so, to try to provide more definitive expressions of appreciation for those who touch my life. These public tragedies serve as a good reminder that underneath, we are all the same.
An intriguing and thought-provoking topic Nancy! (as always)
Hi, Kevin.
Thank you for your comment. Although this will quickly fade from memory for some, I try use these types of situations, and other significant events (like Iran) to not only learn about others, but learn something about myself, and try to improve my life experience and hopefully theirs as well.
Isn't that why we write?
You speak of mortality, but think about it, isn't writing a form of immortality? Not that what we write will be read forever, though sometimes it does, but that what we write creates something that exists beyond us.
Bingo, Mr. Schiller.
Yes, Greg, as writers I believe we are looking for our place, in the stream of immortality.
Hi, Greg, Susan, and JM-
I don't really know how many people think in terms of immortality. When I write, my only thought is of communicating a thought or a feeling that I think may be of interest to others; I really don't think about being remembered as an individual. Maybe it is a subconscious desire.
My reason for writing this post is to suggest that we might create a greater good for others by examining and communicating our regards for them and how they have enriched our lives. For me personally, my goal is to get to the point in my own life where I don't regret not taking an opportunity to give this type of affirmation.
Good morning, Nancy! I didn't know your prompt when I wrote a short story today, but it is a great one in light of the recent tragic events. Thank you.
Hi, Jennifer.
Did you post the short story of which you speak?
Yes, It's called ~Gypsy Love~
I love your idea. I had that thought many times, particularly yesterday, and not just about Michael Jackson. There are things I wish I had said to several loved ones I've lost. But I have also written those things, and "offered them up" to their spirits, which I believe are still with us.
Hi, Julie.
It's so common to have thoughts and memories worth sharing after a passing, and it's great that you have written your thoughts regarding your loved ones.
I can only speak for myself, but I want to do it when it might make as difference to the person in their own life. I'm not sure that often we realize the impact of giving affirmations or how timely or treasured they might be. There is a definite power in words that might be maximized if we take the time to provide them more freely.
I agree. I've lost loved ones much too early, (as if there's ever a time when it's not too early) and I have learned that I want to make the difference, if there is one, while it can have an impact.
So true, Julie. And of course, we never know how long we have to make that difference, so the sooner, the better.
Great topic! I babysat for a woman who was literally my second mom - she is responsible for the woman I am today!
Hi, Kelly. I'm sure she would love to know how much she means to you since you clearly have strong feelings about her.
Hi Nancy.
Thanks for inviting me over to read your post. Very nicely written and you were spot on in your thinking that we rarely think about death or our mortality until it is much too late to let those that we love know how we felt about them.
Your prompt is awesome and I will be participating in one form or another and there will be a few recipients of said letter.
Thank you!
Hi, Esther.
I'm glad you stopped by, and I'm sure your recipients will be thrilled to hear from you!
A well written article Nancy. I appreciated all you have said here especially how you wish to communicate. You not only communicated you have given me inspiration; others as well I'm sure.
But before I go on to talk of what that inspiration is I want to make a mention of Michael Jackson. It must have been difficult at times to keep things in perspective when one lived so very much under the limelight. Things I will remember and celebrate of his life is the incredible talent and obvious dedication to achieve such a level. He, to me anyway, always seemed gentle in his associations with people. Even his silliest acts had no malicious or violent intent. He may not have been the thinker that John Lennon was but he did, I feel, believe that "all we need is love". I'll leave it at that for I do not wish to add negatives at this point but only to remember that it was the music and dance skills with which he enriched the whole world, and the gentleness of a man who wished that we see and feel his sincerity. Where I live we often have "a celebration of life" rather than refer to a funeral or a wake; even though loss is always terrible to cope with.
The inspiration relates to my own loss of my husband just over a year ago. I have four beautiful adult children and they nurtured and cared for me over that period, before and beyond, in such a special caring way. I've never put on paper my thanks to them but now might be a good time to do that.
Sensitive comment
I'm just finding out how the "reply to this comment" works.
Thanks John for responding so kindly.
p.s. I'm also having trouble with my computer connections. We've had so much rain here.
This is a wonderful idea. This I shall think about. I'm not sure if I'll go public.
Very thoughtfully presented, Nancy.
Events like this remind us all that time is short in all we do, and procrastination always costs too much.
very thoughtful...