“I've seen the light,” said Jen.
Mike looked up, his knees crunched under the desk, arms hugging the wall. “I thought I asked you to switch it off.”
“Yeah, but you’ve not seen...”
“Don’t want to neither.”
Rain-water dripped, sea-water sipping the shore. Their dead tree melted in the heat. “It’s beautiful Mike.”
“I’m sure it is, but the world was beautiful too, once upon a time.”
“So what?” asked Jen.
“So turn off the light and save some energy. Maybe one day the world’ll be lovely again.”
“Like me?”
Mike hugged her tight and they turned out the light.
© Sheila Deeth, June 2009
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Comments: 32
it is a beautiful world potrayal
Awwww...that was lovely and sad at the same time.
So well written Sheila. And frightening.
Wow, you've outdone yourself this time!
Thanks for posting to my group, Anythingwriting
Very well written Sheila.
This is a great message, Sheila. This is truly a tack we all must take, and perhaps balance can be restored.
This is well done. It makes one think.
Mmmmmmmmm....not sure what to make of this as I don't really understand how it all comes together...why are Mike's knees crunched under the desk and I just can not see his arms hugging the wall...makes no sense to me...and I'm not understanding what Jen thinks is beautiful and what she's wanting Mike to see...
I think I started out with a light left on when they're meant to conserve power. By the time I'd written it down, I'm not sure... Maybe he'd switched a light on by accident and wanted her to switch it off. She thought it was beautiful because they were careful with power after the seas rose, so she wasn't used to lights. But you're right Katherine; I did make it very obscure.
I'm not at all sure what's happening here, but it scary and sad at the same time! And touching at the end. Very interesting.
This is Subtle and very very artistic.
So love is green!
That just might sell as a solution to Global Warming--!
It did seem to be post-apocalyptic...it grabbed me!
I like it!
Spooky, Sheila. I also was initially perplexed by the hugging the wall part, but I saw it as symbolic as I reread it. Another great piece where you jerk the reader.
Interesting. I like the ambiguity.
Good One !!
Similar to others, I liked the obscurity. It allows the reader to mix the post-apocolyptic and "love" metaphors together for themselves. The fact that I had to resolve the apparent tensions for myself made me think deeper about the meanings contained; and I like that.
Kudos
I follow John and Bill in this matter, Sheila..... too tired to write my own response,lol...:)
That was great - and I agree scary.
A surreal landscape written in a fashion that says this is the expected.
Interesting and well written.
I was thinking it may have been following a nuclear war, but wondered would there still be electricity. I could see a couple curling up together after a nuclear holocaust to die together. Why was he hugging the wall? I like the story and the environmental issues.
I had a difficult time grasping the meaning in this one too. Thank you for your explanations.
sounds like a bomb as dropped, counting their blessings
You did capture quite a lot in a mere 100 words -- with hope sewn through. Bravo.
This is great Sheila,I had a bit of a time grasping the hugging of the wall too, but know your writing always has deep meaning, and all the comments and replies from you have made me understand it better.
very touching and soft ending.
Came back to catch up on the comments.
You have written a long long story in a very few words. I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing.