Dear Dad,
You died of cancer unexpectedly, and painfully, in the morning of January 13th, 2009, only a few hours before my flight arrived at Beijing airport. Now five months have passed. Not a single day goes by didn't I wish I was there holding your hand at the last moment, telling you I would take care of mom and myself, letting you know that you had nothing to worry about.
Yesterday was Father's Day here at U.S. We don't observe it back in China. However, when I saw families crowded restaurants cebebrating, when I saw those gift idea signs at retail shops, when I heard radio DJs encouraging children to call their fathers, I just miss you so much. I want to have a dinner with you one more time, talking about things happening in my life. You would like to know I am making progress at my new job, we just did the settlement for our new house, and most importantly, we are expecting your grandchild this fall, it's a girl. Dad, I wish I had more time with you, but I know I need to be strong. If I have learned only one thing from you, it is to stay positive when facing the difficulties in our lives.
I wish I had the talent to write a poem or compose a song to express how much I miss you right now. However, I can only write a few words, and I am not even a good writer. But I know you understand my feeling and every word I want to say, just like you always do.
Dear Dad, don't worry. I am doing the things you'd like me to do and learning to be a better person every day. I know you will be with me in my heart every step of the way for the rest of my life. I thank God for giving me a father like you.
Your son,
Hai
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Comments: 14
Oh, Hai.......what a beautiful, beautiful tribute/letter to your dad! I am sitting here in tears, reading it........I can feel your pain, your anguish, your sadness......every single bit of it......I have lost both of my beloved parents (several years ago).......the pain never goes away.....it just is much less sharp than in the past. Your grief is so new, so recent....which makes things even so much more difficult for you. I'm sure that it hurt a lot when you saw (perhaps on t.v.) or out in public, people celebrating with their fathers.......
But, just think, you will be a father in the not-too-disant future!!! That is so wonderful for you! Have you chosen any names yet?
You, my friend, are an eloquent writer.......this is one of the most beautiful, most moving articles/letters I've ever read. As time goes by, the pain will lessen, where you can look back and smile at all the wonderful memories of your father.......they can never be taken away from you!
Thank you so much for your kind words, which comforted me a great deal. Well said, Nora, well said.
We are still thinking about names. It seems there are lots of choices, but also so few. :)
nice tribute
Thanks.
Hai, I felt so sad and cried hard when reading your tribute. I know your pain as I had the same experience myself three years ago.
You are a very good writer and you were writing from deep in your heart, that's why it is so touching. I hope you felt better afterwards.
I am sure your dad is very proud of you.
Ru, I did feel better after writing this. I felt I was talking to my father directly.
And I know your dad is proud of you too, there is no doubt.
Just read it again, and cried again. Thanks for spelling out what I wanted to say myself. Your dad will be smiling in heaven the day you become a father.
Your words and encouragement meant a lot to me. Thank you, Ru.
Just read your lovely tribute and can understand all your thoughts since I lost both of my parents twelve years ago within two months of each other. I am a grandmother and a great grandmother and I wanted to tell you that your greatest gift to your Dad AND his new grandchild would be to introduce them to each other through your memories.
Your dear father will remain alive for your entire family through these stories and memories and keep your child knowledgeable about his background bringing and keeping you all close.
You are blessed in your new role as a father and will be able to use all you've learned from yours.
May i ask when your baby is due?
My baby girl is due on October 15th. One more month, just one more month.