Anyone out there listening??

That's what we're here for at Gather. I don't have a lot of close friends because I just don't have the time, and that's the honest truth. I wish I had kept in touch better, but it's too late for that. My best friend lives pretty far away, too. We chat online and all, but see each other every few years. It's tough, but just know that people are here and care if you need an ear.

I can appreciate what you're saying. Like a lot of people, I have few people in my "inner cricle". Three of them live in different states - Florida, Maryland and Arizona. Fortunately I have a decent phone plan and can regularly stay in touch. I would prefer "face-to-face", but that's not readily available.  Sometimes it can help to talk with a stranger; however, it's difficult to build trust and actually share sensitive information. --Joe

I am sorry you feel that way I no I have felt like that at times...I have found the people who I can really call friends and most of them is my family I don't trust many people and I dont give trust out often I am so thankful that I found my boyfriend/bestfriend its amazing how one person can make you feel so much more comforted. Take steps towardyour friend in cali. and always keep him close so you always have someone to talk to and comfort you... Hope you get to feeling a little more up.

Samantha, that was a big part of why I joined Gather, but its difficult having that personal kind of friendship with someone.  You know what I mean??  I guess you can say my best friend in California is someone I have never met, only communicated with via email, but there was something different about him that made it seem like we knew each other somehow someway.  Hard to explain, but I'm sure you can understand what I mean.  I'm glad there are a few people here that care to some extent about others, including me and spare some of their time to listen to what I have to say.  Thanks so much for your understanding and support : )!

Joe, I don't feel so all alone now.  Thanks so much!  It is great that you can stay in touch with those far away even though you wish face to face was more accessible.  You are very correct that sometimes talking to a stranger can help when you least expect it, but it is hard to know who to trust sometimes as well.  I try to give people I don't know the benefit of the doubt and hope that maybe down the road it will become a friendship of sorts.  I appreciate you input! 

My boyfriend is also my best friend. There things that I have told him that I have never told anyone else and I am his confidant in the same way. My sister is another close friend but she lives in Northeast FL while I live in South Florida. I don't have many other people that I am really close to. We've moved a lot too, so that makes it harder to meet new people and form lasting relationships. When all else fails at least we have Gather.

It is amazing when you can find that one person or even a few people that can make you feel special, cheer you up and provide comfort when you need it the most.  I do make the effort to tell my friend in California that I'm glad to have someone like him in my life and that I will always be there for him no matter what.  I should be very thankful for what few friends I do have and appreciate all those who took the time to read what I had to write.  Thanks so much guys/gals for making me feel that someone cares. 

I don't have a ton of close friends either. My husband, my mom and one of my Aunts are among my best friends.  I have one friend that I know I can count on and trust 100%, she lives 40 minutes away and with our busy lives we only get together about once a month. It's hard for me to trust people, I had a friend that did me wrong in so many ways, we were friends all through elementary and high school and a few years afterwards, but unfortunately that friend ship HAD to end. I am not willing to go through that kind of pain again!! I have a few other friends that I hang out with but I really don't talk to them much about my problems.

Holly, yes at least we have Gather when all else fails.  My friend is California is my best friend in that I have shared with him that most people including my own family and husband don't know about.  I do have my sisters that I am pretty close to, but we don't see each other much except for family get togethers/holidays during the year. 

my friends are my Gather friends...

Nichole, been there, done that too.  I have had a handful of friends that I thought I could trust, but in the end I was wrong and ending the friendship was the best thing for both of us.  Some of them were people I knew for years, went to school with forever it seemed like and figured we would be friends for a long time.  I'm pretty selective about who I choose to have as a friend. 

DN, some of my Gather friends are my friends too, like you : ). 

I really think everyone has felt this way. I most certainly have.  Different associations but the same all in all.  You will be fine.  You will grow from being able to just GET IT OUT.  I commend you for this article!

Thank you.

I checked your profile to see if I could determine how old you are but there isn't much listed.  I hope you are not sub-consciously rejecting people in order to protect yourself.  There are a lot of nice people in the world and lots of them are just waiting to be your friend.  Don't give up on people yet, wait until you are my age and then decide to be a hermit.  I did and I am (or pretty close to it.).  To have a friend you have to be a friend and it sounds as if you are trying.  Keep trying that perfect friend will come along, if you allow it.

If ya want someone to talk to via the Internet, and especially if you tend to stay up all night and forgive people who don't ALWAYS answer your emails right away-let me know and I'll be your Internet pen pal.

I have two cats and live on the East-Coast, though I wanna move to WV, I like "rural area's.

Let me know if ya want a pen pal. 

Thanks for the offer, I appreciate it!  I would like to get to know you better through Gather first and see what happens before jumping into unfamiliar territory. 

Actually, I came back anyone want a cyber-pen pal.  I like history, cats some politics, thrillers in literature, home preparedness and am 50 plus. Some politics, usually a Republican always a conservative.

I like non-fiction usually but also, some fiction and lately some good poems, right here at GATHER.  Also, I like photo's old and new.

I dont have much "close" friends too... maybe because i dont have time to get along with them... i know some people and some where treating me a real "friend" but i think i oversee them.. i'm admitted maybe its my fault.. i didn't get in touch with them that often, and hang with them like i used to ... but even though i always pray for them, and i know our friendship will last, because they know me inside and out, and when i'm with them i dont have to pretend like sombedy else... they just accept me as i am...

internet is a big help too... just a few click away and i already sent a message to them...

i know its hard to find friends that will accept you as you are, so when i find one, i cherished it...

God bless all!

I know a lot of the people I use to associate with I had things in common with, but over time I became someone different while they were still the same, our paths grew apart.  There are some people who just have little to no concept that I don't have the luxury to go out whenever I want or that I actually have responsibilities and feel that I'm using that excuse not to hang out with them or I don't like them, which is not the case at all. 

I have felt that way especiallly when I was housebound due to my health.  I wish I had known about Gather then.  I really appreciate Gather on the times when I can't get out.  It feels like there is somone out there listening.

Gather has been a big help especially when I felt I had nowhere else to turn.  It has made me feel like someone out there is listening and cares to some extent.  I have gotten the opportunity to get to know some great people here on Gather and I appreciate all their support. 

It isn't easy developing close and good friendships. I understand your feelings, Diana. When I was young, I often thought that way. I spent most of my life with some great friendships that I formed as a young man in my twenties. By the time, I was forty, they had either moved away for better employment or they are now dead. My forties were my most difficult years. I felt abandoned and thought that I would never have any more close friends. I felt the same way as you during those years. Today, I haven't replaced any of those great friendships of my youth, but I have made good friendships that are healthy. One of the things that I have learned is that friends can't be everything. I have friends who I can go to the movies with and have a great time. Then, I have another friend who I can have breakfast with and discuss life in a deep and meaningful way. He is the rarest of friends. Most people don't have the patience or listening skills to share that kind of friendship. So, keep being the best that you can be. Friendships often come and go. But, your friend in California cannot be replaced. Cherish that friend and don't lose touch. Good luck and I wish you well.

I never had the opportunity to form lasting friendships due to moving quite a bit when I was young, so it was difficult for me to make friends.  I didn't want to stay in touch with anyone from high school since I was always the outcast, the person who didn't fit in.  I have had a few great friendships that ended due to the both of us moving away following our dreams and like you I never was able to replace those friendships. 

It is fantastic that you have friends you can do a various of activities with and I wish I could say the same for me.  I thank my lucky stars all the time for my friend in California because he truly is the definition of what a friend is. 

i know how you feel...

Thanks S. M. K.!

I have three sisters, my hubby and my mom.... yet, even though I can talk to them, I can really talk to some of the great people I've met here on Gather.

You just never know where you'll make a good friend.  Open yourself to more possibilities.  A true friend won't care if you have opposing ideas or the like.

There are great people I've met here on Gather and I feel I am a better person for knowing them.  We've shared a part of our lives with each other and that means a lot to me.  I'm always open to possibility of making a good friend wherever I can. 

Diana I know exactly how you feel.  I have lost most of my childhood friends.  I mean the ones I had in school.  My parents were very strict, my sister and I were not allowed to have friends.  Therefore, I never had a meaningful friendship with anyone.  Til this day, I just don't know how to make friends.  At times I go to public places hoping that someone anyone would ask me how my day was.  I find that the older we get, the lonelier we become.  I want to be able to trust, to have fun with a friends or a lot of them.  But do I start?

I have trouble making friends too.  I know part of life is taking risks and striking up a conversation/making small talk with a total stranger while you are standing in line or in a public place.  It hard to trust people sometimes, I admit, but that shouldn't keep you from getting to know someone or to have fun with a friend.  Take small steps and just be yourself.  You should let yourself have friends and enjoy life.   

I have made a lot of friends here on gather. These friends have gone out of their way to be nice. Trying to help and make me feel like this is home. I hope you can settle in here. There are so many nice people here. Best of luck.

I have a few of those friends here on Gather, that no matter what they are always there trying to help and being nice, which I try to show my appreciation by doing what I can to help them and being a friend.  Just reading what you and others have wrote has made me believe that there are people out there listening and I'm not alone. 

Thank you so much Leigh!  You don't know how much your support and comment meant to me : ). 

Lee, I'll be honest since that is the type of person I am.  I reject those individuals who pretend to be something they aren't, don't understand the meaning of friendship and or rarely reciprocate.  I'm usually the one who goes out of my way to help someone out and try to be the friend a friend would want to have, but it doesn't always work out that way, I understand.  I know there are tons of people who would want a friend like me, all I have to do is find them : ). 

I'm pretty much on my own.  I hang with no one, although I have my Hubby on the weekends when he comes home to the ranch.

I've got lots of very friendly people I work with, and some of them I would be able to speak seriously concerning serious matters should the need arise, but no, I don't think I have any friends, anymore.

I can relate Dorothy.  There is no one I really hang out with anymore and part of me doesn't have much of a desire.  It is good that you have friendly people you work with and some that you can confide in, which is something.  Most of the friends I have are online friends. 

That lack of desire you mention is a prominant aspect of my situation, too.  Don't know why, but somewhere along the line, I found I had not the desire to mix it with anyone. 

I'm here 4 u

Thanks Fred!  That means a lot.

I agree.  I have a close friend - in California - not close geographically.  I have an acquaintance I'd love to call a friend, we get along well when we're together, but any time I say "let's go out", she says NO.

I have a close male friend - he has little spare time... and is trying to date (not me), so a lot of his time is taken up.

That's it... I need to find more flesh and blood friends also and it just gets harder and harder.

OMG, I have the same situation with an acquaintance of mine (husband's friend) who considers me a friend when it is convenient, but rarely ever wants to go out even though he doesn't have much of a life. 

I, too, wish to find more flesh and blood friends as you put, but it does get hard finding those people.  I know they are out there, but where? 

Just wanted to let you know that you are NOT alone!

Maybe we should start a Gather group for lonely people who need encouragement?

There are TONS of us!

I'm alone many times, let me know when you do Elisha and I'll join. I'd even go so far as to say I'd like to get to know someone 50 yrs old in the general vicinity

Elisha, I always knew there were others that felt the way I do most of the time, but never imagined this many people. 

You know, starting a Gather group is a great idea!  Everyone needs a little support/encouragement from others, even strangers and I think it would be something positive for people.  Let's talk about this some more and see what we could come with.  Feel free to email me!   

... what are we suppose to be listening to?

believe me, we ALL do stand alone.

no matter if we are reaching out to loved ones, family, friends ... in the end ... it is just you & God!

Listening to each other.  Yes, God listens, but sometimes I and others need to have someone to talk to and hear the voice of another human being.  I talk to God, but it is not the same thing. 

... very understandable ... sorry i missed your point of view ...

prayerfully God will supply the right human being for just that purpose ...

peace ...

Most of us have many acquaintances, a hand-full of friends, and really only one or two friends that we can call "close".  I live alone and there are some days that - if I don't turn on the radio or the tv - I don't hear the sound of another human voice.  That can be pretty lonely.  I'm outgoing, tho, so when I feel the need for human contact and conversation, I take Cindy for a walk (refer to photo at left for Cindy).  A simple stroll through our neighborhood has resulted in friendships; two of which have become very close. 

I've found that other people are interested in me as much as I am interested in them.  Funny how that works.  Get out there and show yourself off, be the first one to say "hello", allow those friendships to come to you.  Be a little vulnerable, but guarding, too. 

Elisha, that might be a nice idea ~ if it doesn't become a lonely hearts club.  We all get a little lonely and blue on occassion.  I would join this group.

You have a companion that may not understand what you are saying, but will always be there to listen.  That is something special and a close friend.  Btw, what an adorable dog!  I find myself talking to myself many times when I am alone in the house just to hear something, which I know some may think I am strange and some when I am out in public ask me if I am okay.  It is pretty embarassing when I admit that I talk to myself. 

I do need to get out more and explore the world around me, say hello to someone and show off a little. 

Maybe Elisha, you and I should put our heads together and figure out this group thing.  I would definitely join this group

my family tends to be my friends...and like other my boyfriend is my best friend.....

I feel a lot like you do

It feels like I have a whole new bunch of friends now.  My family are my friends and I can always count on them to be there if I need them, which I have done many times in my life.  It is good that you have friends in your family. 

Diana, if you need a friend with listening ears, I am here. We all need to know somebody well enough and be able to tolerate their faults , that's what we call friend. We at gather will make you feel so welcome.

Someone gets it!  A friend is tolerant no matter what and someone you know well enough to be there to listen, even if they don't agree with you.  Maybe that is the reason why I am still here on Gather because of great people like you and everyone else that has commented on this post. 

I used to feel like you did a few months ago.  And at that point in my life I was pretty much defined by a relationship where I wasn't allowed or supposed to have friends.  Now I realize that friends are necessary, even if you have a family or are in a relationship. 

Since I am seeing someone new, I have still kept my friends I made in the interval.  Now we all hang out together or I hang out with them and then go visit my significant other.

And it's always hard to make those new friends, but once you do they are worth keeping.

Oh and obviously I am listening, so type away, sweetie.

You are one of the few that always listens to what I have to say, which I really do appreciate.  Wish I could say that for some of my other connections, but hey I look at it they are missing out.  I've learned to cherish the true friendships I have, no matter how long they may last. 

Thanks Red Headed for everything you do!