For only $19.95 you can take control of the comments on your posts.
Tired of receiving "Nice Job" and "PIF" in your comments?
Just download this innovative new program into your computer, and watch those comments become intelligent and witty.
Following download, type "PIF" or any other pre-programmed phrase into your comment thread. You should feel a 100 volt shock the next time you touch your keyboard. This same shock will occur to anyone typing a similar comment on your posts.
Like Pavlov's Dogs, after one or two shocks, the commenter will learn to comment accordingly *
* or drool uncontrollably
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Comments: 105
nice
ZAP!!!!
Ow.
Yeah, but it was kinda fun, no?
Wait, I'll jump in a bubble bath and you throw me a toaster with Pop Tarts heating up in it.
Nope, I like you too much to cause permanent damage...I'll stop with that.
It ain't good damage unless it's permanent.
Not only am I ordering this, I am ordering multiple copies for my favs on Gather; Ann, Tracy, Purrrrrr, Cheryl, Barb, Jodi, Vickie, Christine, Kathryn, Donna, Elise, Esther, Cathi, Chana, Glome, Karen, Krystal, Krissy, Jules, Kelly, Kellee, Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, Missy, Marie, Nancy, Necee, Peggy, Pat, Pamela, Priscilla, Angela, Anna, Ana, Suzanne, Sheri, Shaunee, Jackie, Jan, Janie, Janet, Jan, Sandy, Sharon, Erica - Oooh I have lots of favorites, guess I need to wait until I win the lottery..............
Is it made by Ronco?
Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, Lisa? Is that anything like Marsha, Marsha, Marsha?
LOL
my first girlfriend was a lisa
my first prom date was a lisa
the mother of my only child is a lisa
and there's about 16,792,336 lisas on Gather.
Marsha, though cute, never got that kind of exposure.
Robert,
Ronco? NO, this is a high end operation...Popiel.
Too bad, if it were Ronco it would also dice your carrots and make frappes (that's milkshakes to all you southerners......).
Type the wrong comment often enough, and you only need to grab the metal cup or knife...The tremors will do all the work.
Oh nice Robert what about Vivians theres a few of us floating about !
Vivian, of course, sorry, I know I missed a few. You know you're right up there with Tracy and Ann. Well, leastways you're above Sarah. Ooh I hope Sarah doesn't see this. lol.
BTW: Nice
Okay, Robert, you should be drooling uncontrollably by now. Oh wait, you do that all the time anyway, don't you? Snork. [you know, drooling at the girls ....] [just kidding around]
BTW: Thanks for sharing.
BTW: Beautiful
BTW: PIF
BTW: Good Stuff
BTW: Did I say, NICE?
See, if I had one, you would now have the brain capacity of a gnat.
I would hope for a little more. I once played a gnat a game of chess and he beat me. So, I'll consider this a compliment. Thanks.
Oh, I thought you said, "Commie Zipper". I'm sorry. Want me to start all over?
No, we stopped selling those in the eighties, after that Reagan speech. Political corrrectness and all that jazz...
I like this one. It gave me a laugh. Thanks.
I love it! I thought the first part was hilarious, then I got to the shock part and laughed out loud right here in my office! Ha! Robert needs to be disciplined, I think. (Oh, Dixie!)
Only by a female wearing stillettos
Um ... maybe you should read Dixie's story (written by Donna). Giggle.
Oh yeah, Robert, you and Dixie would get along just fine...teehee
And Barb...do you notice the " You might also like"...is all "Launa" post, barring my index?
Oh wow! That's funny! Now, how did that thing know about Launa??
re: your comment to Robert. Bwah-hahahahahaha!!! Does she ever replace those handcuffs?
Nah, hers are fur covered. The ones she used on Ray were his own, police issue cuffs...
or both! Thanks Donna - I really enjoyed that.
oooh, oooh, oooh (channeling Horshack) I would like to order about 25 of them, just in case one breaks I have a back up.
Just send me that Visa number, Grems...
I know you will keep that number safe it is 33344455566769
Sorry, grems, please re-enter a valid 16-digit VISA number and exp date to my PayPal. I am Donna's office manager and this is all legit.
Hmmm...me thinks there is a digit or two extra in there...you trying to scam the scammer?
Robert,
Make up your own scam there Bubba! This one is all mine!
Are you sure that isn't a valid number? I got it off the brand new application I recieved with an interest rate of 25% for the first 90 days and then going to 30% for the next fiscal year, with a chance of being based on the prime rate when hell freezes over.
I'm a skeptic - they'd just figure out some other innane acronym to use. It would be an endless battle. But, TFT!
Sheryl,
Nope it comes with a library of about 2000 pre-programmed inane remarks which will activate the zapper, including any comment less than four words.
Purrrfect~ =D
where do I sign in blood?~ =D
Sugar, no blood necessary, and yours is on the house.
Thanks for posting to GutterGirls~
featured~ =D snickers
Featured. Nice.
(I also suspect that 'Commie Zippers' would have been featured as well.
as long as they got snagged on something um. . . =P
"Mr.Gorbachev, Unzip this Zipper"....yep, a feature to be sure.
*giggles*
Hahahah!
You are such a riot, donna!
So thats why the cops keep showing up with helments and batons..I thought it was a parade...(Whack)..slapping self on forehead.
Hee hee hee. And if you call in the next 10 minutes, you will get the limited release 30 minute video of Donna's comments. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll spew Coke on the keyboard!
Nice Job on the comments.
Comments, PIF
To All: Thanks for Sharing.
Nice.
That's a nice 'nice' donna. seriously, note the beautiful curvature of the 'e'.
Good Job
Yeah, I have a way with curvitures
Ouch!!!!
Owie!
How an elephant got into my pajamas I'll never know.
Kay,
Enjoy it while it lasts...teehee
Kay, may I come to your house? I have an elephant costume. A pink elephant costume.
This is shocking , and I could use some shock therapy
10 4 U
ZAP!
Ouch!!!!
Ohhhhh...I simply adore crispy duck!!!
Poor duckie! I like crispy orange duck.
mmm mmm good!
I don't care how long of a comment a person leaves. At least it shows me they were there...and I made points off their visit.
No sale, huh?
Hey everyone if you have any left over "PIF", "THanks", "Nice", and/or "Good Job"s please go leave them them with Rob A. He's a nice, good man who likes to say thanks.
LOOK
I just tied a cherry stem with my *CENSORED* =D
What? No origami? Hah!
*show off* ;P
LOOK
What I can do with my legs =D
I saw this comment on my "Content for me" page...immediately followed by "Dad's Favorite Kabobs".....Now, just what is it you do with those gams, hon?
*i can't show you cuz it's not flagged and both you and I may get spanked by the gather gads if we knowingly play nasty with no self inflicted flags, I don't know about you but I like to pick who gives me spankings and they would so not be among the choices* ;)
Hey, I am good enough to give one spank aren't I?
LOOK
I am the MULTIJOINTEDGUTTERQUEEN
*scrolls up to see if flagged*
*nope~never mind* ;)
Knock yourself out, Selene...I don't give a shit!
=O o my~you said the s h word
Some f***tard is bound to flag it now~
*gets antiflagger super cape and flies to Donna's rescue~though really just wants to see Donna do origami art with her tongue =D, but it's a good enough excuse*
Nah, only us gutter snipes will visit this post anyway, and this is pretty damn tame in comparison to some...but thanks for being my Purr in shining leotards..One origami swan coming up...
swans have VERYYYYYYYYYYYYY long throats =D
Yeah, Bill is one happy camper...lol
Lmbo at this one!! This is such a fun challenge for this week!
Too Funny !!
OUCH !! What the....
Oh, LOL. Guess it really does work.
Good one, Sweetie. I can't wait till the royalties start rolling in.
Nice Jo....OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!! Kind of tickles......wait.....I LIKE it!!! I'm pretty sure you would hasve to up the zapper to 110/120, Donna, cause under THAT, it feels gooooddd,lol
penni,
Ok, I'll up the wattage, just for you.
Ooops, sorry I'm drooling uncontrolably.....nice.........hey cut that the (@_$ out already. This had me laughing uncontrolably for sure. Wonderful fun.
katie,
Well, considering this is a well written comment, the drooling isn't coming from the Zapper....Whatcha been up to, huh? Huh? Huh?
the drooling comes naturally to them!
Good one my outlaw friend!! LOL
Goodnight Sweet Post. Enjoyed all the blather. Of which none was mine. I only provided intellectual commentary.
So, that's what you call it. Interesting...
I tip a shot of vodka to you and Pavlov--electrifyingly brilliant teamwork!
We do work well together, don't we...Ouch, Pav, Stop that! Ouch..dammit!
Comment Zapper
The Big Bang Boom
Explosion in
The computer room
The keyboard's gone
It's vaporized
And poor old Donna
She's terrified
There goes house
She'll now have to rent
But at least she got
Her 100th Comment.
OH Hell NO!...This is just priceless...I knew you'd come through for me...
Had to write this quick, its starting to smoke!
Works for me :)
Ooh... I'll take one of these (and one of Penni's Friend-O-Meters)! At $19.95, that is quite the deal.
Does this only work on Gather, or does it have some offline applications as well? If not, will there be an offline model shortly, or should I just stick with traditional means such as cattle prods and tasers?
I'm thinking, just Gather, and maybe Facebook. Perosnally, I think the cattleprod works pretty darned effectively.
I thought the title said Comment Zipper, so caught my eye, loved all the comments on the zapper, should like it might be a good thing to own.