I have a gripping tale of suspense for y'all today!
First, would y'all be amazed to know that I haven't even been here at Gather for the past week? It's true! A group of North Korean Communist sympathizers kidnapped me at gunpoint here in Macon last Friday and then imprisoned me in a Dairy Queen in Ocala, Florida. I've had to stay inside this DQ the whole past week and eat nothing but Blizzards, as only the Blizzard making machine seemed to be working. Can y'all imagine? A Banana Split Blizzard for breakfast, a Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Blizzard for lunch, and then to have to force a Reese's Peanut Butter Clip Blizzard down for dinner each day for a week! Can y'all imagine the torture I was experiencing? The sheer, unadulterated agony?
Fortunately for me I bribed off my captors with the promise of free Facebook pages for each of them, and then made my escape while they were discussing potential avatars! And now, after swimming miles of rivers, traversing swamps, and thumbing rides off and on I-75 I'm back here on Gather just in time to accept any birthday wishes that might come my way here today!
I feel the need to apologize to everyone here at this point. It's my understanding that the North Korean Ministry for Propaganda and Enlightenment actually took over my Gather page here since I've been gone. I was even told that they put something up about me celebrating my "pre-birthday" and openly solicited for comments and smoochies. Me ask for something as crazy as that? Hopefully y'all all knew that something was amiss, and took it for the sinister prank that it was. Me grovel for views and comments several days in advance of my birthday - NEVER!
Whew! It's wonderful to be out of captivity. And now that that's cleared up we can have a modest, genteel celebration of my day of birth below.....
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Comments: 119
Happy Birthday!
Those Koreans were very kind to you. They gave you a weeks worth of blizzards for your birthday!!
Lisa, you get prettier by the minute, and don't give those North Koreans too much credit - I had to look for hours just to find a spoon, they'd hidden them all just to be mean!
E3
Aww. you're too kind. :]
Ahh. I see. How very cruel of them. Just say the word, and all I gotta do is push a button. You want the button? I can do the button.
Do the button, let me know what happens......I'm a Clint Eastwood fan, I can take it......
E3
Happy Birthday Ed! I am not reading this until later because it is 6:09 AM and I need sleep. If my little mind can remember I will come back and read. Just wanted to wish you a:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ED!
Chana, you are a dear, dear lady - thank you for always bein' so good to me!
E3
Damn Commies ! Do something dastardly like that to a fine ,upstanding ,red blooded Juliette Redneck ! Happy Birthday EDIII !
Phil, you, like Ric Flair, are truly the man!
E3
Happy birthday Ed! and I'm so glad you escaped safetly! I hope they didn't ruin icecream for you forever
Unfortunately, Ellen, as a result of this traumatic experience I'm going to have to go to psychotheraputic ice cream trauma withdrawal classes. I'll report my progress as they progress.....
E3
Happy birthday! i want ice cream.
since i dont have a gift for you and im so far away too... im blowing kisses as my birthday gift... i hope it reaches you before you go to sleep...
*blowing kisses
Jayrene, you being here is my gift - smoochies to a very classy lady!
E3
What a horrible thing to happen! How lucky that you were able to make your escape. What was the ransom demand? You know all of us here would have chipped in and paid it. Pooling all of our resources, we might have been able to come up with $15-$20. You know, they could have tortured you even worse by keeping you there there and NOT given you Blizzards.
And on top of all of that, you have to work on your birthday....you'd think that mean and nasty person in charge would at least give you the day off.
Happy birthday, Ed darlin'. Wet smoochies from the rainy North.
Bethie
Bethie, you are but the best and you know it - double smoochies, darlin'!
E3
Happy BIrthday, Hugs and Kisses your way! "muah!"
Kimberly, thank you darlin', I love smoochies from you!
E3
Welcome to the "we're getting older club." (It's a much nicer club than the "we're dead club.")
Larry, on a day I'm feelin' kinda mossy, your comment helped - thanks!
E3
Late to the party---again!
Happy Birth day to ya, Happy Birth day to ya, Hap-Hap-Hap-py Birth day to ya!
I have at least a decade on ya yet, I hope that your atoms and molecules age as gracefully as mine have. Ed, on this day I wish you an everlasting bundle of health, wealth, family and friends for life, and as much success as your heart can tolerate--an adequate amount I am sure will find its way to you.
Note: I also pinged you this message
Johnice, you're one beautiful person, thank you for always being so supportive of me!
E3
Happy birthday!
Thanks, sweet Adair!
E3
Happy Birthday Ed!
Vincent, I love having you in the house, thanks!
E3
What? Did I just read? Maybe it is just to early to take it all in.
Happy Happy Birthday Ed
Tricia, it can never be too early to expose those filthy North Koreans!
Thanks, darlin'!
E3
Happy Bithday, Ed~
Diane, you mega stacked good lookin' thing, you, thanks!
E3
Happy Birthday King Of The Most Subtle Innuendoes =D
You said genteel =( so I have to behave~so much for those swats~
*slinks off with an unsatisfied palm* ;P
Never fear, my dear (heart)! C'mon over, we'll get a few friends over too, and... have an unbirthday party.....! ;)
Selene, I am but mega hurt, I was so looking forward to some palmage from you.
Joyce, what time are we starting?
Smoochies to you both,
E3
SWAT times fifty three =D
Purrr, now my heiny and I can both smile, I knew you'd come through!
E3
P.S. I'm using you in an article of mine soon, I hope you don't mind....
oh Eddie yes yes yes USE ME~baby =D
Well, I for one had NO IDEA it was your birthday. NONE! I guess those Korean posts never got past my filters!
Have a painless day, E3!
Trace, you know you're special.
Smoochies and more,
E3
Happy Birthday Ed - what a way to get caught in a blizzard!
I know, ain't it great, Stacey?
E3
What's wrong with you?
I never work on my birthday and I'm poor.
Do they make a birthday cake Blizzard? Does it have a candle in it? (Not a Dairy Queen consumer here.)
EM JAY darlin', there actually is a Dairy Queen Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Blizzard cake - I'm havin' one Sunday for Father's Day!
E3
Ed,
Just reading that sent me into anaphalactic shock.
mj
Happy Birthday and enjoy the ice cream!
Rebecca, you're a sweetie, thanks!
E3
Happy Birthday!
Ang, thank you, great seeing you here again!
E3
Happy Birthday Ed! Hope you enjoyed the ping!
Raven, I enjoy most everything about you!
E3
Happy birthday! Wow, you mean to tell me, you've missed out on all the Gather drama these past few days??? Lucky you....LOL!
Nora, usually all the drama seems to come from the same little group of folks, I avoid it like a cash strapped mother-in-law.....
Smoochies re your birthday wishes!
E3
HAPPY HAPPY BIrthday to yooooouuuuu!
Thhhaaaannnkkkkkkkkk youuuuuuuuu~!
E3
My Birthday is Monday.
Should I hide from the North Koreans?
Don't just hide from them, arm yourself. If you sub-machine gun down a few of 'em it'd make for a great story here on Gather!
E3
Happy Birthday to you!
Rita, thank you!
E3
Happy Birthday.
Spencer, thanks for hanging out with us, you're a class act!
E3
Glad you escaped in time to see another Birthday!
I guess I'll be cancelling my facebook acct. as to not pick up a kidnapper
Otelia, the farther you stay away from both Facebook and the North Koreans the better off you'll be!
Smoochies,
E3
Happy Birthday!!
Vicki, thanks!
E3
Oh the horrors you must have endured. You should get extra hugs and smoochies for that pain!! ROFL
Happy Birthday!
Lisa, I'm soaking it all up here like an Ace Valley Hardware sponge....
E3
I'm throwing my hands up and surrendering...so I can be held captive in a Dairy Queen, too. Please, give me a life sentence and never let me go. Make me eat ice cream every day. I'll go quietly and won't resist. By the way, Happy Birthday, too. I'd send you an ice cream cake...but I already ate it.
It's the thought that counts, Rob - thanks!
E3
Good God Almighty Ed!!!
This post is FILLED with all of the lovelies of GATHER.
THEY LOVE YOU!!!
So, what's your secret? Not THAT one! I mean, what's the secret to your captivating all of these Gather beauties?
(90% of the men here on Gather are waiting for your response to this question with baited breath.)
Darlin', we talk, share feelings, and I gawk at them. Unabashedly too, there are some real pretty ladies here!
Smoochies to you, great having you with us today!
E3
Happy Birthday, too -- Z.Z. Hill style.
Make that double smoochies to you, darlin'!
E3
Have a greast birthday filled with lots of fun and a year filled with time to write your great articles here on gather!
Golds, you are always so good to me, you'll always have a special place in my heart here on Gather!
E3
Horrible torture you endured. Seek psychiatric help now!
And happy birthday and year.
Leo, I should've sought it years ago, I think!
You're the best,
E3
Well howdy friend!
I hope you have the happiest of birthdays!!!
Thanks for posting to my group, Anythingwriting
Angela, you've been so good to me, thank you so much, I really think the world of you!
E3
You're welcome dearie.
Ed, My brother's birthday was yesterday. (June 18). This young man (in the link below): http://www.gather.com/viewImage.action?fileId=3096224745360118&articleId=281474977529063 who insists that he has been my nephew for the last 20 years is having a birthday -- like you -- TODAY! (His dad/my brother is different from the one who had his birthday yesterday.) Even a 3rd brother of mine had a grandchild born on June 17. This birthday and the child are VERY special since this 3rd brother of mine, lost his only son (the newborn's dad), to a drunk driver exactly 2 months from then, on April 17. This week in June is very, very special, and for that reason, Dearest Ed, you absolutely must. . .
Celebrate your birthday to the hilt (and it's Friday, too! Ooooooh yeah!)
~~ HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Ed!!!
Nothing more needs be said, pretty lady - you are such a class act....
E3
Happy Birthday and shame on you for fibbing!! {giggle}
Joyce, I don't lie, I was just taking the liberty of bullshi**ing.
Triple smoochies!
E3
HAHAHAHAHA! Just what I meant! But I promised to be a good kitty today...!
Back atcha!
Do you hafta be good, darlin'? It hurts me to even read those words....
E3
Meolllllll! In your case, I'll make an exception....since it's your birthday....purring Kitteh jumps up on lap, rubs head against face, invites tail petting...smoochies...!!!
There is no question that you need to hang out here more!
E3
Happy Birthday to you Ed. I too love dairy Queen. There are a lot of them in Texas. I wish someone would hold me captive in a dairy Queen too. I like their steak finger baskets . Ed you have a great day .Enjoy . It's a special day.
Howard, you're a cool, class act - it's great having you here with us, thanks for everything!
E3
I finally read this. Yeah for freedom! Its my bag baby and I am digging it! I was however distressed to see Dem Nice Girls Can Make Us Doze, But Dem Naughty Ones Doth Curl Our Toes!, in fact so distressed I could not read it! What you don't like nice Jewish girls? I'll just leave quietly then.
Chana, I always like nice girls, it's just that I like naughty ones a bit better......
E3
Oh, what terrible torture you must have gone through! Blizzards for every meal of the day??? I could'nt imagine....ok maybe I could sounds kinda yummie to me! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
Nichole, I'd offer you some smoochies for being so damn kind to me and good lookin' to boot, but I don't need your husband whuppin' my heiny. So I'll be quiet and just think about it....
E3
Wow you sure know how to make a gal blush! ;)
We do what we can, darlin'......
E3
I knew I'd forget! Happy Birthday Ed!!!! {blows air kiss}
Heidi, I caught that air kiss and am giving you my best Elvis-like smoldering glance in return....
Smoochies, darlin',
E3
he he he...what a hoot Ed! Of course you would never solicit pre birthday views..and happy birthday too by the way...let us not forget however that my birthday is a major holiday (almost) on July the 5th....oops sorry...not me, something just ran across the key board but I got it and now I am off to celebrate your birthday in style with.....PASTA! LOL
Debby, you are le bomb, you need to hang out here more, we dig the coolest amongst Gather here!
E3
why thank you birthday boy....I try to hang when I can and when my wireless will connect and let me...soooo what kind of cake have you been enjoying on your day of days??
Funny you should ask that - I just polished off a Dairy Queen double cheeseburger, fries, and a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Blizzard for desert - I'm in junk food nirvana now......
E3
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ED!!
MANY HUGS AND SMOOCHES TO YOU!! ;)
Esther, you're the classiest, one of the people on Gather I'm proudest to call a friend. Thank you so much, darlin'!
E3
Happy Birthday! I hope you had a good day today!
Yesterday my younger son turned 27.
Heather, you're a sweetie, congrats to your son on his big day as well!
E3
Karen, you're a sweet, classy lady - thank you!
E3
Karen, I had a long week, did a lot of travelling, a slow night tonight is a good thing - but thanks of thinking wickedly for me, I appreciate it, darlin'!
E3
Happy Birthday!! :]
Hope you had a great one!!
Tiffany, you're a sweetie, I'm gettin' older and bit mossy, but I'm hangin' in there!
Smoochies and thanks again,
E3
Your welcome :]
Sorry I missed your birthday and if I'm ever kidnapped I hope they hold me hostage at a Diary Queen!!! Late smoochies to you!!!
Annie, I love ya to death, it'd take more than missin' a birthday for me to not care about you!
E3
Happy belated Birthday Ed! Glad to see you made it back in one piece :0)
Pretty lady, double smoochies to you, you know you're a fav of mine here on Gather!
E3
OH MY GOSH ED! THEY GOT ME!! Those stank North Korean Commies finally figured out you were gone and they kidnapped me before my hubby could give me my Birthday present (early!) I was worried that they were gonna take me to the DQ hideout cause I just can't eat blizzards cause they give me immajestion!
Well, them dang commies took me to a new hideout at the Taco Bell in Kissimmee, I can't never figure out how to say that! Is it Kiss-a-mee or Kis siminee or what? Wasn't that a Mary Poppins song? I can't remember, anyway them commies fed me nothin' but Volcano Burritos! WOW! Now I know what fire in the hole means!
I was able to escape when them dang commies were busy putting their faces on facebook and setting up Myspace pages. Man! Their avatars sucked swamp water! They kept saying that Ed had given them the avatars to use. Beats me, so as not too be outdone I took them to the website "one thousand and one fonts" so they could use them on Facebook and Myspace.
So anyway, while they were busy, I was able to make my escape, and after 3 days of walking 100 miles a day (up hill) in 3 feet of snow, I made it back! Happily, today is MY BIRTHDAY and I am able to share it with you here!
Them Dang dirty commie North Koreans are out there, looking for another Birthday captive! Ya'll better WATCH OUT, and Keep your eyes open! If you hear an ice cream truck, RUN THE OTHER WAY!!
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